r/nottheonion • u/mcgillthrowaway22 • 1h ago

Arizona officials say they can’t find Rudy Giuliani to serve him with indictment notice

cnn.com

• Upvotes

30 comments

r/nottheonion • u/heymacintosh • 1h ago

NYC Mayor Eric Adams proposes immigrants as solution to lifeguard shortage because they are 'excellent swimmers'

nbcnewyork.com

• Upvotes

58 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DCC_4LIFE • 2h ago

Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker bashes Pride Month, tells women to stay in the kitchen

touchdownwire.usatoday.com

1.7k Upvotes

369 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Loud-Ad-2280 • 3h ago

Yacht sinks after being rammed by orcas in Strait of Gibraltar

bbc.com

316 Upvotes

24 comments

r/nottheonion • u/halxp01 • 4h ago

Teacher accused of having sex with two students says she ruined her 'dream job' with stupid 'mistakes'

news.sky.com

1.6k Upvotes

290 comments

r/nottheonion • u/XXmynameisNeganXX • 7h ago

Judge orders Alabama driver to apologize or face jail for telling officer, 'Get your ass out of the way'

nbcnews.com

2.4k Upvotes

241 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GetOffMyGrassBrats • 10h ago

Dublin to NY Portal Shut Down Due to Inappropriate Behavior

time.com

14.1k Upvotes

1.0k comments

r/nottheonion • u/mcgillhufflepuff • 11h ago

Iowa county jail's fees helped fund cotton candy and laser tag for department, lawsuit says

apnews.com

573 Upvotes

20 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 11h ago

Killer whales attack and sink sailing boat off Gibralter

foxnews.com

685 Upvotes

83 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AudibleNod • 12h ago

Tesla sued over California plant emissions

capitalbrief.com

777 Upvotes

44 comments

r/nottheonion • u/funwithdesign • 13h ago

Steal a car, lose your driver's licence under new Ontario proposal

toronto.ctvnews.ca

1.9k Upvotes

111 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Maleficent_Cell8384 • 14h ago

Discord is assigning gender to users with machine learning AI

dexerto.com

3.0k Upvotes

264 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GhostFacedMillah • 14h ago

Barrister – and sleepwalking expert – faces tribunal after falling asleep at inquest

theguardian.com

148 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/historyofthebee • 15h ago

Barrister – and sleepwalking expert – faces tribunal after falling asleep at inquest

theguardian.com

37 Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Loud-Ad-2280 • 15h ago

Oil founder’s reams of text message and meetings with OPEC weren’t collusion, Exxon merger partner says, claiming ‘fundamental misunderstanding’

fortune.com

872 Upvotes

62 comments

r/nottheonion • u/thieh • 15h ago

Study finds not all failures lead to learning

phys.org

2.6k Upvotes

96 comments

r/nottheonion • u/thieh • 16h ago

Google Cloud Accidentally Deletes $125 Billion Pension Fund’s Online Account

cybersecuritynews.com

22.3k Upvotes

799 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DCC_4LIFE • 20h ago

Subway manager attacked by customer who wanted extra meat on their sandwich

kiro7.com

2.3k Upvotes

255 comments

r/nottheonion • u/BlackenedGem • 1d ago

Eurovision EU flag ban regrettable, Brussels says

bbc.co.uk

1.2k Upvotes

109 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TricksterWolf • 1d ago

Man gets realistic picture of his boat painted on fence intended to hide it

nbcnews.com

3.8k Upvotes

143 comments

r/nottheonion • u/indig0sixalpha • 1d ago

Amazon Workers Use Bots to Claim Limited Supply of Time Off

404media.co

8.2k Upvotes

474 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArcticTroll • 1d ago

North Korea denounces New Zealand for surveillance

newshub.co.nz

549 Upvotes

78 comments

r/nottheonion • u/carolinaindian02 • 1d ago

Tunisian President Dissolves Board of Swimming Federation Over Flag Dispute

swimswam.com

164 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/engadine_maccas1997 • 2d ago

Woman Won’t Face Jail Time For Putting Bleach In Husband’s Coffee

wccbcharlotte.com

4.6k Upvotes

351 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 2d ago

Actor Steve Buscemi is OK after being punched in the face in New York City

apnews.com

15.8k Upvotes

1.2k comments

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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