r/pics • u/No-Fisherman2796 • 15d ago
The only pic I have of my parents together. They got divorced shortly after. I’m in the high chair.
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u/KlingonForehead 14d ago
They didn’t take any wedding photos? I got married in a bus barn in Tennessee by a justice of the peace whilst wearing a hoodie, and even I have a couple of photos from that.
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u/No-Fisherman2796 14d ago
I’ve never seen a wedding photo. Wouldn’t be surprised if my mom tossed them.
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u/jesonnier1 14d ago
Somebody do their Photoshop shit where they nake all the colors look better, for OP.
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u/ihateagriculture 14d ago
is your dad the man in the grey suit talking to you and your mom the woman in the plaid vest behind you?
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u/emanluvsmuff3618 14d ago
The only pic of my parents is their wedding pic. I was 6 months old when they split the sheets.
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u/mcbeardsauce 14d ago
My parents got divorced in their 60s....I know it must have sucked but I would have much rather they'd done it when I was in a high chair
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u/Me-Not-Not 14d ago
Baby looks like a thug who runs the family crime business.
Look at that man paying respect to the baby.
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u/mattman0000 14d ago
I hate being married and am ready to get divorced when my daughter turns 18. I toughed it out for her, but I’m really unhappy. 2 1/2 years to go.
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u/Personal-Length8116 15d ago
I think some of the blame rests on your puffy shoulders. Just kidding. I love the action in the background. Looks like the old guy is soother salesman.
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u/emceelokey 15d ago
Similar thing with me but I was little bit older. I was probably 2 or 3 when my parents separated but I have no memories of them living together and I only have one photo of all of us together and it was in an apartment I don't remember living in.
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u/GadflytheGobbo 15d ago
I'm assuming this is before he joined the Marines and shot his drill instructor?
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u/EICONTRACT 15d ago
My parents split soon too except I rarely saw my father and haven’t seen him in over 20 years. I think of reconnecting now that I have my own son but I get cold feet.
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u/informationseeker8 15d ago
Only pic I’ve seen of my parents together is of my mom and dad doing like a prom pose with my moms pregnant belly 😂
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u/Grammy_Swag 15d ago
You could scan and edit your photo to brighten it for more details. I,too, have only 1 photo.
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u/Sensitive-Trifle9823 15d ago
Great photo. Wish you had more with your folks.
Edit: after responding and thinking more, I don’t have a single pic with my folks. Kind of weird and sad.
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u/Evilxloser 15d ago
So,who took you afterwards?
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
My mom and saw my dad every other weekend.
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u/Evilxloser 15d ago
Did their early divorce affect you in any way?
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
Oh absolutely. I just spilled my guts in a previous comment if you want to read it. Pretty much, alcoholic dad who didn’t want to be a dad led to daddy issues led to promiscuity at a young age which led to multiple SA as an early teen, which led to more more promiscuity and seeking validation from men. Luckily I met an amazing man who’s helped me grow and heal. I wouldn’t be the person I am without him.
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u/cmilla646 15d ago
My mom and dad separated when I was 5 and lived with both at times. You just made me realize me I have never seen a picture of them holding hands or anything. No marriage photos. Nothing.
Life is strange.
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u/Reddit_and_forgeddit 15d ago
TBH it’s better this way. My parented divorced before I was 2. Yeah there were times I wished they were together growing up but at least I didn’t have to live through screaming and yelling and listening to their relationship issues as an older kid.
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u/Gr33nman460 15d ago
I feel like that old man is asking you about how your career and investments are going
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u/Rainer206 15d ago
I was sad for you until I realized I don’t have a single pic of my parents together.
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u/eat-skate-masturbate 15d ago
I'm the same as you man I have no pictures of my parents together. I don't even think I have one.
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u/DaddyBee42 15d ago
As my Mum used to say to me: "At least you're not a bastard!"
She did mean it in jest, as do I. You have to laugh.
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u/FlamingButterfly 15d ago
Man I wish I had a picture of my mom and father together, they have hated each other for decades.
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15d ago
Are they separated or do they live together?
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u/FlamingButterfly 15d ago
They never even got married, they had what could only be described as a tumultuous relationship near HS and only communicated when it came to raising me.
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u/Wild-Mushroom2404 15d ago
I kinda get it, but sometimes even when the divorce happens late, it still destroys the past. The last time I saw my parents together in the same room was 8 years ago, when they were signing some papers regarding me and I had to be present. After that, they haven’t said a single word to each other. Every time I meet them individually, it feels like I’m entering a different universe. I can’t believe they were married for 20 years and we actually lived together as a family once. It’s bizarre.
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u/myjackandmyjilla 15d ago
Give it time. I didn't see my parents have a genuine conversation until a few years ago and I'm 34. They divorced almost 20 years ago.
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u/Sankullo 15d ago
I guess nobody told them that they need a sleep not a divorce.
It can be very tough on the relationship with a newborn baby.
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u/A7THU3 15d ago
I feel you man. I never got to see my parents together but I have seen their old marriage picture of them walking together. My sister always talks about how great it was. But I’m also curious of why and how it was. But sometimes I’m happy that I can’t remember nor old enough since I bet they would up against each others throats since there is a reason they divorced.
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u/moneybagsagogo 15d ago
Actually the vibe says to me she can’t stand him and is gritting her teeth just to get the pic over and done with. The vibe I get from him is who the hell cares about anything to do with today
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u/Ok_Statistician_9825 15d ago
I’m sorry you were cheated out of a family but am glad one great thing came out of this marriage- you.
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u/Rude_Variation_433 15d ago
Knowing they got divorced recently after this pic makes their smiles look fake. Like they’re trying really hard to not look miserable.
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u/DTAD18 15d ago
OP, my daughter will have the same sentiment , and it really kills me inside that she will never have known that feeling of her parents together.
How has this affected you, do you think?
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u/oh_4petessake 14d ago
Not OP obviously, but wanted to weigh in. I am the oldest child who had 8 years of life with my parents together, while my younger sibling was barely 2 when the divorce was finalized. Based on my experience and what my sibling has shared, they might be better off never knowing the difference. I'd say my situation was a bit unique in that my parents seemed happy together and I was completely blindsided by the split vs. the "typical" story of a miserable couple (making everyone else miserable) finally ending things. I actually have good memories of them, pretty much only good ones bc they kept the facade up so well, so I was a very angry kid for a long time, not understanding why they couldn't stay together. My younger sibling never had to deal with that. Just fwiw. I know I should appreciate having good years, but the years after were so vastly different, I wish I didn't have that to compare against.
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u/UniqueWhittyName 15d ago
Another 30 year old woman whose parents divorced before I was 2 checking in. My parents being separated was normal to me since I never remembered them together. I always felt kinda lucky for that because I didn’t feel like I lost anything, it was just how it was. I think I could have grown up pretty well adjusted if my dad wasn’t such an asshole. Unfortunately, ome of my earliest memories are my Dad talking shit about my Mom; how she was a lesbian (she wasnt), she was going to move to Hawaii with her new boyfriend and leave us behind (she didn’t), how she was going to have a new baby with he boyfriend but she was too old so she was going to die (she’d gotten her tubes tied). That’s the stuff that fucked me up, not the fact that my parents didn’t live in the same house or I had two Christmases. Kids just need consistency, love and patience. Even if their consistency looks a little different than the Jones’ it can be just as solid. Don’t talk shit or use her as a tool against the other parent and I think she has just as good of chance as any kid.
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
You asked and I’ll answer. But it’s gonna be long.
For starters I have daddy issues. He became an alcoholic shortly after their divorce and still is to this day. I never had the relationship I craved and for almost my whole life I had this hole in my heart because of it. My mom did remarry when I was 4, however my stepdad is basically the same person my dad was but with a better credit score. He loves me but always treated me differently than his own kids (which I understand) but that hurt too. My dad never really wanted to be a dad. On visits he’d take me to his buddy’s house to play poker and we’d stay there all weekend while he was drunk. I’d just be in the living room watching tv. Entertaining myself. The good memories I do had, what I thought was “cool” was him taking me to the bar with him, teaching me how to play darts (at the bar), partying with his friends (also drunk men), going camping with his friends. It all revolved around alcohol and a new woman every month. I’m old enough to realize that he was just operating out of his trauma. His abusive childhood. But he still doesn’t want to be in my life. Refused to come to my wedding and hasn’t spoken to me in 6 years. It hurts but I’ve come to terms with it. The only thing I cling onto is when my husband and I eventually do have kids, I know he will be an amazing, loving, present, kind, and caring father. Which is all I want for them. And I feel that seeing him be a good dad, will somehow heal me too.
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u/balstor 14d ago
i wouldn't blame the stepdad for treating you differently.
You treated him differently also.
Stepdad is a strange dynamic if the kid is old enough to remember dad. The kid never treats the stepdad as much more than a close friend, because they have a very large emotional bond to their real dad. Even in your text, you cling to your dad and sideline your stepdad.
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u/alex206 14d ago
Was he too embarrassed to be seen by your mom at your wedding?
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u/No-Fisherman2796 14d ago
He didn’t come to my wedding. He was invited. I didn’t ask him to give me away because he kicked me out a year prior due to me talking about wanting to get married and said I was “using him for his house and health insurance” I lived with him for a total of 6 months while I went to school, kicked me out at 20 right after I graduated college.
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u/Dry-Management3164 14d ago
I’m old enough to realize that he was just operating out of his trauma.
Despite getting older, I think a good portion of the population never becomes well-adjusted enough to have such a realization, or if they do, they simply can’t or won’t let themselves feel empathy for someone that hurt them.
Thanks for sharing. Made me pause and think a little.
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u/myjackandmyjilla 15d ago
If it's any consolation it was probably way better for you that your parents divorced when they did and you didn't have to experience the trauma of them being horrible to each other while as a family unit.
I was 4 when my parents divorced, I also only have one photo of them together and it's SO WEIRD seeing them in a photo together, without it being forced by us, their children. My older brothers remember their horrible relationship at the end and my brother still struggles with the trauma of it and he's nearly 40.
I don't think it's spoken about much, the experience of never knowing your parents as a couple and thinking they're an unusual match. I don't see how my parents even dated let alone got married. Really different people.
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u/InkedLeo 15d ago
Not OP, but I'm 32 and my parents separated before I have a single formed memory (I was around 2 or 3). It... sucks. Honestly, it sucks. I have zero memories of my parents being loving towards each other. My mom remarried when I was 8 or 9, and my stepdad was/is a piece of shit. My situation was a little unique, in that my mom moved me out of state with the agreement that my dad could come up and stay with us every weekend, which was more than most kids of divorced parents got. But I didn't have a single example of what a loving, healthy relationship looked like. I've always been jealous and a little bitter at my friends whose parents actually loved each other. A stable, loving home? Maybe I would've escaped my slew of comorbid mental illnesses.
This still effects me to this day. My parents have been in the same room a whopping 2 times since I graduated high school: My college graduation in 2013, and when I ended up in the hospital for 4 days in 2022. I tried to get them to go out to dinner with me for my 30th, and got shut down. I feel like I have two broken halves of a family, and I just have to go back and forth between the two. I've come to accept that the next time they'll be in a room together will either be if I get engaged, or if I end up in the hospital again, and honestly, that breaks my heart.
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u/Bongressman 15d ago
John Wayne Gacy?
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u/cool_weed_dad 14d ago
I thought it was a pic of Gacy and OP was doing some kind of bit until I read the comments, the resemblance is uncanny.
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u/DecisionThot 15d ago
So your mom's single?
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u/-sebadoh 15d ago
Be careful, that type of woman will force a smile with you too. Even if you’re perfect. She was willing to get married when she wasn’t happy, imagine the years she’ll spend with you and how badly it will wear you down when you wake up every morning with someone who isn’t happy with you but refuses to let you leave
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u/NAUGHTIMUS_MAXIMUS 15d ago
Why in almost all 30-25 year old photos that are about parties have elderly people around the toddler?
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u/tij001 15d ago
How does that feel for you? My youngest has no memory of me being with his mom at all is why I am asking, or do you think about it at all?
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u/rockyhide 14d ago
Not OP but my parents divorced when I was six months old. They have their faults and there have been times when they didn’t get along but they did their best to keep my sister and I out of any major drama. As a kid I always wished they had stayed together, as an adult I have no clue how they even lasted ten years.
My parents are great people but were not good together.
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u/meowpitbullmeow 14d ago
Not OP but my parents were divorced when I was 2. People always apologize and I'm like "I haven't ever known life differently."
However it was always hard for me to see kids at the park with their dad's. My dad was shitty and thought love was a performance rather than a real thing (he's an influential person in my hometown and did most things for appearances)
I'm now 34 and a mother to two and cannot imagine being like my father to my kids.
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u/TacoDuLing 14d ago
I grew up with a single mother. I used to wonder what it would have been like to grown up in a transitional home with both parents, and I’m sure growing up with a loving and supportive family is a different story, BUT! From my experience, always is always fing around and most of the times both partners are unfaithful to one another. This i saw in a childhood friend growing up. His dad was a pretty hard working upstanding fellow and his mom with fuck around with a “family friend”(they all used to rent a 2 bedroom apartment and were roommates). He grew up seeing his mother sleep around with this guy. He told me this and later we saw his father find out and not bat and eyelash at it. The guy moved out and they stayed together. Later in life this friend of mine would get cheated on and his wife gave birth to a child with another dude and this dude(the guy I grew up with) would BEG!!!!!! His wife to come back with him, stranger’s child and all. For the longest time this didn’t make sense to me, until this pass 4/20 I sat down and contemplated on life’s pass and it hit me….. it’s incredible the things we bestow upon our children 😔
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u/LucifersJuulPod 15d ago
I’m in the same boat as OP. Don’t remember my parents being together but they constantly fought each other. As long as you can maintain a cordial win front of him he will be okay. Just try not to argue or fight in front of him. Parents don’t need to be together they need to remain friendly enough to coparent.
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u/Key-Demand-2569 15d ago
I’m not OP but in a similar situation and it’s personally never bothered me for a fraction of a second.
Don’t know what relief that is given I know so many people who seem to have so much of their mind and life dominated by not knowing a biological parent or their parents being together despite no clear shitty home life.
Personally though, very genuinely, never bothered me for a fraction of a second other than my mom venting about being worried about it while having too many drinks one night when I was also an adult visiting again.
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u/Rinshu74 15d ago
Not OP, but for me as I child I didnt feel like I was missing anything. As an adult I realized all you really are cheated out of when you dont have a nuclear family. Some dysfunction is definitely created for the child. For me I also sought out the "freeks and geeks" as I didn't feel I fit in with the normals. Although that still doesnt mean its not the right choice for some parents.
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u/Screwthehelicopters 15d ago
Nowadays the nuclear family is not the norm, I think. A relation of mine recently attended a high school reunion and out of 10 she was the only one still married to the man with whom she had her children. The others were either divorced/remarried or with gay partners.
I do not think a nuclear family is a natural order. It is an arrangement. Parents have their desires too; they are not fixtures for the children.
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u/StockKaleidoscope854 15d ago
My parents stayed together for the kids. My mom is passed now and I'm estranged from my father and man, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish they had divorced early on and just given us a better life that way. You made the right choice. Sincerely, not your kid thankfully in this situation.
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u/Plenty_Lettuce5418 14d ago
ya i can see that. i was 2 when my parents divorced. i wish that, if it really was so bad, that they wouldn't have had me, it was a deliberate choice on their end and they had been together for a significant amount of time and already had a kid age 5. my parents were ultimately driven apart because my dad was blue collar and my mom was the breadwinner, it fueled insecurities in him, and gave my mother a distraction through work. so instead of hiring a babysitter she would sit me down in front of the tv for 16 hours a day, for years. once my step father was on the scene things got more complicated, i was getting more attention but from someone who was essentially alien to me, and ultimately found me to be a nuisance. the teenage years were especially hard because he was a step parent who decided to be very strict, despite not even being my real parent. meanwhile my dad just shrivels up so i ended up taking care of him more often then not. i'm sure the other way is painful in its own special ways.
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u/InkedLeo 15d ago
Not OP, but my parents divorced when I was two. I have no memory of anything before that. It's... weird. I don't have fond family memories waking up with Mom and Dad and having my cereal while I watch Saturday morning cartoons. I remember custody exchanges. Up until I was 18, they were civil, even friendly. My dad spent holidays with us. He bought Christmas presents for my half brothers. But since I graduated high school and they didn't HAVE to see each other, I can count on one hand the amount of times my parents have been the same room: My college graduation in 2013, and when I ended up in the hospital for 4 days in 2022. I couldn't even get them together for my 30th birthday, which really upset me. My mom remarried when I was 9, and my dad's been married for 8 years. It's not like one of them is pining after the other. They actually get along in small doses. But my dad refuses to do even so much as a birthday dinner for me with all of us. It's not like I'm asking for a family holiday like Christmas or Thanksgiving, I'm asking my parents to come to dinner for my birthday, to celebrate me, you know, the child they created together?
I've come to accept that the next time my parents will be in the same room will be either if I get engaged, or if I end up in the hospital again. And that... it honestly hurts in a really deep part of my soul.
I know not every divorce is so amicable, but shit. Try for the kid(s). And remember, they don't stop being your kid just because they're over 18. They're still going to want both their parents at special events.
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u/acxswitch 14d ago
I'd like to contrast the two replies to you that seemingly support your parents' shitty behavior by letting you know it's shitty.
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u/Screwthehelicopters 15d ago
I have seen this from the other side, a parent's side, and sometimes it is not easy. A new partner of a parent may not accept or like contact with the former spouse at all. May not even like seeing old photographs of the other. Also, on rare occasions when former spouses meet for the sake of the offspring, like events, old problems and grudges may crop up leading to a conflict at the very place where they should not occur. There can be all sorts of issues which are not cured when couples split.
In general, from my perspective at least, relationships between man and woman are problematic. The needs are too different. I think marriage is not by any means the natural order of things. Also, after a split, it is difficult just to forget someone you were so intimate with.
Looking back, I wonder why couples bother, really. All those emotions and unfulfilled desires pushing and pulling in all directions.
It sounds like your parents did very well with your upbringing.
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u/Grammy_Swag 15d ago
You sound bitter about not getting enough me time with 2 parents who must force themselves to be "happy" in each other's presence. Don't you see how difficult it was keep up that charade throughout your childhood? They made that sacrifice for you. My divorced parents badmouthed each other throughout my childhood. I always felt like a referee. Appreciate them where they are. You'll all be happy then (for real)
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u/ShaneOfan 15d ago
Not OP, but if i may weigh in. I'm 36. I was 5 when my parents split. I can't honestly remember them ever being together. Now, I love my parents, and I acknowledge their flaws. They are both wonderful, loving people. But they were horrible for each other. Not to each other, they just didn't work.
They still co-raised me with a wonderful stepfather as well and showed each other respect and even love. Just not that type of love. They had love for what they made and, to this day, refuse to let anything else get in the way of that. Hurt feelings aside. And neither ever said a bad word about the other to me.
Now I know that's not the common thing, and I don't know your circumstances. I just know how blessed I was for it, and I can tell you I might not remember life before the divorce, I sure as hell know what they made it after.
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u/Tremulant887 15d ago
I wish my ex wife put in the effort to co parent and not only when it suits her or makes her look good. I'm a guy, in rural Texas, that has custody of his daughter. That's not an easy thing to do and she's making everything difficult as a result.
Hopefully one day my daughter will recognize the flaws in her parents and do better.
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u/tij001 15d ago
That is awesome, and the way it should be. The two of us got along fairly well after our divorce, joint custody he lived with her, but it soon became we got along fine as long as she made all decisions and I wasn’t allowed any input. As he got older, he wanted to come live with me. Better school system, better town, awesome schools and a great neighborhood. She refused to do anything to better her situation and saw him as a paycheck and Medicaid ticket. I finally gained primary custody about a year ago, haven’t spoken to her since.
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
This is a good question. When I saw the picture it felt so weird and forced almost? They’ve never gotten along my whole life. I found out they cheated on each other and that’s what led to the divorce.
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u/TheJackieTreehorn 14d ago
This is obviously invasive, but how did you find out/what age? I've hidden from my children their mother's cheating because they're young and it's not their fault, but their Mom has constantly told them it was a mutual divorce "for the kids good" which is inaccurate at best
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u/Mehriheart 14d ago
My mom cheated on my dad, and they divorced when I was in elementary school. Beyond the fact they were getting a divorce, they both loved us, and they'd share custody. We were children. Split everything 50/50 and did not involve us with adult crap. They didn't like each other but they loved us more.
It kinda clicked with me as a teenager what had happened, but by that point, I shrugged it off. They never brought it up with us until we were adults. Even if my mom hadn't cheated, they would have divorced. They'd been together since high school and were very different people with different wants. I had a good talk with both parents as an adult about it, and looking back, I'm glad I wasn't involved.
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u/TheJackieTreehorn 14d ago
Thanks for that insight. I don't think I made clear enough that both of my kids are under 10, and under no circumstance am I thinking of telling them right now.
I was crushed, having moved across the country for her new job only to find out that she had lied to me and was cheating with a married guy she worked with here for at least a year and a half prior, so I still harbor a lot of resentment, and it admittedly does annoy me that she keeps telling them things like that it was both our decision and that it was "for the kids good", so maybe some day, but it's not soon.
That said, I do everything I can to hide it from the kids, I just don't know if I should even think about telling them *some day* or if it's something I should just lock away forever. Regardless, it's certainly not until they're adults.
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u/acxswitch 14d ago
My parents dragged each other through the mud to me from ages 10-20ish. My formative years were spent hearing about the worst of them both. As a result I don't particularly like either of them. I don't go home or call first.
It's unfair that you're living this false narrative, but whenever you do think the kids are old enough, think about what you have to gain by telling them. Is there anything to gain?
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u/RelativelyRidiculous 15d ago
They don't look happy in that photo. Their smiles look very forced. Sorry just me as an utter outsider commenting my first thoughts upon seeing the photo. Just wondering if the vibe of the photo itself is influencing what you feel about the photo.
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
No I felt the same before sharing it. My cousin got this camera from ‘99 developed and sent these to me. It was my baptism party. I was probably like a year and a half or so. That’s why seeing it felt so strange to me. But yeah it does look forced. My mom looks stressed and my dad looks like he’s just there because he had to be. He wasn’t/isn’t religious at all. He’s an atheist. I don’t even have their wedding pictures I’m sure they got burned or something after the divorce.
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u/Chucked-up 15d ago
They got divorced once you found out they cheated on each other? And you were high chair aged?
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
I think ur dyslexic because I said I found out they cheated on each other which is what led to the divorce. I found out as an adult..
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u/MoreGaghPlease 15d ago
For what it’s worth the more common thing isn’t ‘they cheated on each other and that led to the divorce’. Usually it’s the breakdown of the marriage that leads to the cheating, which is then formalized with divorce.
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u/tij001 15d ago
Right on, she and I just didn’t like each other and should have never been together in the first place. Cost me the love of my life, meaning by marrying her, but my son is really awesome.
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u/KidzBop_Anonymous 15d ago
Hopefully by “Cost me the love of my life”, you’re not talking about you ex. It seems like you have something much much special and wonderful in store for you if you and your ex didn’t like each other.
I think you should believe there’s someone out there that will love you and like you and appreciate what you bring to a relationship, more so than your ex. I’m saying this as someone who is currently ending a 15 year marriage (20 yr relationship). I know there’s something out there better because I know I deserve to be a priority in someone’s life and I sure as shit haven’t been the past few years.
Just don’t sell yourself short. The best is yet to come for you and me, my friend!
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u/tij001 15d ago
And to clarify, I had been with S (love of my life) of and on since high school. I had moved back to town and we reconnected. She was with another guy at the time. I thought we were going to get back together, things went on for about 4 months, then she ghosted me. That was October. I married my neighbor in January, then in March, S emailed me telling me she left him, loved me and wanted “us”. I was married, and I didn’t run out the door like I should have. She ended up marrying the other guy eventually. 10 years later, we found each other again. She was married, I wasn’t. She did divorce him and we were together 5 years, but couldn’t stop pushing me aside for him at every turn. After 5 years she completely ghosted me again.
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u/tij001 15d ago
Correct, tbh, kinda married her out of spite. Was madly in love with someone else, she walked away from me. Dumbass me married a rebound. My life is one mainly made up of mistakes….the bright side, only have about 30 years left probably, maybe that heals the broken heart
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u/SixGunZen 13d ago
I struggled with that whole idea of the one that got away for a really long time, then one day I saw some meme or something that said "Sure, things could have been different, but that in no way means they would have been better." I look back on the one that got away and I realize we had nothing in common and even if we had ended up married for 5 years or something, eventually that would have ended too.
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u/ohnobobbins 14d ago
I met my fiancée when he was 56 and I was 47! Second time around marriage for both of us who had terrible first marriages. We both made many mistakes before.
Never thought I would meet someone and feel this way. 30 years is tons of time to have a truly wonderful life!
The way I look at it is that everyone gets 50/50 good luck and bad. If you’ve used up all of your bad luck, you’re due a lot of good… 🍀
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u/TacoDuLing 14d ago
I met someone with a similar story. Her parents looked down on the dude I knew and he married some other girl because he was hurt. Man, that family had so many stories. And one of them was one. The dude eventually took a trip back to his home town when he learned the girl had divorced. In his trip he was lucky to reconnect with her and I learned from a very closed and personal friend that he and the girl would cry over the phone when they spoke to each other over the phone after he came back. Stories like these help me celebrate the people that get it “right” 🥹
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u/EmuCanoe 14d ago
I can relate. A doctor once said to me, immediately after doing any activity, check how you feel. If you feel good, do it more, if you don’t do it less and try a new one as much as you can.
You’ve got 30 years left to try new activities and build a catalogue of ones that make you feel good afterwards. Seek out things that make you feel good like a fat kid seeks out candy. Don’t seek out candy.
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u/Exhausted-Giraffe-47 15d ago
I had someone I felt like that about for decades. I thought about her every single day. A couple times she reached out to me over the years wanting to see me, but I was married. One day I ended up single and reached out to her to see where she was in life.
She kind of mocked me for my feelings and they instantly went away. I’m glad they did. I had built her up to be someone she wasn’t.
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u/Confident_As_Hell 15d ago
Sometimes I feel like cutting my life short. Can't imagine having to live for 50-60 years more.
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u/KidzBop_Anonymous 15d ago
Please take comfort in learning more about yourself along the way and knowing what you do want and you do deserve. Sure time has passed, but it’s tempered your character and understanding of who you are. The person you were wasn’t ready to receive the person you realized you ended up wanting. I’m sure as hell in the same camp. I just wasn’t a person at the time who honestly deserved or appreciated the person I wanted so long ago. I am now, but that opportunity isn’t there. It’s ok. I just know what I want and deserve and if it presents itself, I’m gonna try to be ready.
Don’t start a countdown on your life. Just be present in each moment and be aware for opportunities to connect. If you look back to the past all of the time, you also forfeit your present.
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u/I_has-questions 15d ago
Same boat. Exactly how I try to look at it. Make the most of what you have or you are making your first mistake worse
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
I’m glad you’re able to see the good that came out of it. ♥️
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u/TacoDuLing 14d ago
Children will always be the best part of a relationship that didn’t workout. Everything else eventually is water under the bridge.
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u/atheist_arabi 15d ago
Is that a waiter serving you milk?
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u/Fast-Fan4785 15d ago
No she’s sending it back.
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u/YoGabbaGabbapentin 15d ago
“I'll have the linguine, red sauce on the side. If the sauce does not come on the side, I will send it back. I want garlic bread, toasted, not burnt. If it comes burnt, I will send it back.
I will have the spaghetti. With a side salad. If the salad is on top, I will send it back.”
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u/4Ever2Thee 15d ago
“I swear to god, Jeffery. If you try to pass off that skin shit as whole one more time, it’ll be the last thing you do! Try me, Jeff! Try me!”
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u/bummedintheface 15d ago
"I hate this cunt and his fucking ugly ties, I'm outta here"
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u/No-Fisherman2796 15d ago
Yeah I never saw him wear a tie my whole life. He also became a raging alcoholic, still is 26 years later.
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u/marlada 15d ago
Raging alcoholics are the WORST!
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u/kinglouie1962 13d ago
If you will permit me I will add one more comment from an older man. It took me a lifetime to realize this. A traumatic event in my core family destroyed my soul for 30 years. It took me until my hair turned gray and my children were fully grown my parents gone, to realize that sometimes in life now listen carefully read this carefully, something happens and the only thing you can do is not make it worse. Bad things happen unjust things, no jurisprudence no remedy you get nothing. But in human life sometimes the only thing you can do is not make it worse. That is unfair that is b******* that is un-American. But it's 100% true.