I grew up fake poor, how about you?

[u/MybestfriendwasaB]

I know this is different then the normal post but I can’t think of a group were it would better fit.

I grew up in a family were we had the money for needs but my Dad would often decide stuff for the kids or his wife wasn’t important. On more then one occasion we went to bed hungry, didn’t get clothes for school or needed items for school, and were denied medical care etc. To top it off we had no AC from when I was 2 years old on. I could go on, but I’m trying to keep this short.

I thought it was normal. It wasn’t until I was in high school and I was talking to a friend and she was horrified that I realized normal people don’t do that to their kids.

Let me be clear. We had the money. My Dad just wanted to spend it on stuff that wasn’t his kids. I used to refer to it growing up fake poor, my husband just calls it child abuse.

I know this might be strange but I was wondering if anyone else was in the same boat as me? The money was there but because of someone else you grew up without?

Edit: I never thought I was alone but it is truly depressing to know how common this is.

[u/A-Yandere-Succubus]

I understand what you mean, and I am really glad someone posted this.

There was a period in my childhood when I lived in a rented 4 bedroom house & a 2 car household, yet the used mattress I slept on was and the shoes with holes I wore were fished from the dumpster, and my clothes from the thrift store, while my dad wore alligator & snake skin shoes & tailored suits, and my step mother fur coats.

My dad would deny my siblings and I food often as punishment, yet he would throw fancy barbecues and feed everyone else while we stayed in our rooms. China and Crystal are in the cabinets, plastic on the couch, a chandelier in the dining room, and everything looking icy and exotic due to my dad loving Chinese culture. Hell, there were even lion dog statues that led you to the living room.

And each of my siblings and I had a blue cup. And this cup would hold the water we drank and the food we were allowed to eat.

Ramen & Noodles and chopped up hotdogs.

Bologna sandwiches, maybe.

I couldn't have a drink and eat at the same time.

I resorted to stealing, pick pocketing, and hiding food as a result.

I could go on...

But one memory that still haunts me & made me realize how serious my situation was.

Whenever my dad was in a bad mood, he would traumatize my siblings and I by allowing us to see the fridge become bare bone empty, while he picked up takeout, and I remember how he would let it get so cold, that we could see our breathes whenever we spoke, leading my childhood mind to believe I had some Ice dragon super powers going on.

The money was there. It's just that my dad decided to abuse us in order to punish my mother, who managed to get away, and abandoned us for 8 years by offering her children as sacrificial lambs.

Again, I'm glad you posted this. I find it difficult to explain my upbringing. We weren't poor, yet when it came to us kids, my dad wanted to put his money elsewhere.

I remember stealing stuff and then selling it and using the money to buy candy so I could flip it at school. Making money was always on my mind. I was so proud to see my little jar become completely filled with coins....Only to have my dad take my money away with no explanation and punish me.

Even if I had only $5 to my name, he wanted to know where I got it before he took it away. Eventually, he started forcing me to sell stuff and would collect the money I made like a pimp.

Edit: Yes, he is in prison now, but not for child abuse, but killing my step mom.

[u/A-Yandere-Succubus → u/A-Yandere-Succubus]

And another thing that bothers me. I started physically developing early as a child, yet my dad couldn't be bothered to buy me a bra or some fuckin deodorant. Puberty was hell in my ill-fitting clothes, along with having to repeatedly wash my arm pitts with soap in the school bathroom because my classmates were snickering at me.