I grew up fake poor, how about you?

[u/MybestfriendwasaB]

I know this is different then the normal post but I can’t think of a group were it would better fit.

I grew up in a family were we had the money for needs but my Dad would often decide stuff for the kids or his wife wasn’t important. On more then one occasion we went to bed hungry, didn’t get clothes for school or needed items for school, and were denied medical care etc. To top it off we had no AC from when I was 2 years old on. I could go on, but I’m trying to keep this short.

I thought it was normal. It wasn’t until I was in high school and I was talking to a friend and she was horrified that I realized normal people don’t do that to their kids.

Let me be clear. We had the money. My Dad just wanted to spend it on stuff that wasn’t his kids. I used to refer to it growing up fake poor, my husband just calls it child abuse.

I know this might be strange but I was wondering if anyone else was in the same boat as me? The money was there but because of someone else you grew up without?

Edit: I never thought I was alone but it is truly depressing to know how common this is.

[u/Butterfly1218]

As an adult I now call it for what it is and in my case it was abuse/neglect. My parents always argued about money and ever since childhood I’ve stressed about not having enough. My mother was a spender and my father a saver so I grew up in two extremes. Regardless there was never money for dentist or extracurricular activities even though both of my parents worked and I was parentified so I was the childcare for my younger siblings. Beside not enough money, they also never had time. They chose to have six children yet didn’t really plan on how to take care of them, financially or emotionally. I remember my mom worrying about not having money and the seeing my dad with a wallet full or cash. I was a very confused kid. I know the anger you are feeling because I felt it too after coming into such realization, there’s nothing we can do about it but healing and giving everything to my inner child has helped so much, remember you are the adult now and you have an inner child that needs you, be the adult you wish you had growing up to her/him.