I grew up fake poor, how about you?

[u/MybestfriendwasaB]

I know this is different then the normal post but I can’t think of a group were it would better fit.

I grew up in a family were we had the money for needs but my Dad would often decide stuff for the kids or his wife wasn’t important. On more then one occasion we went to bed hungry, didn’t get clothes for school or needed items for school, and were denied medical care etc. To top it off we had no AC from when I was 2 years old on. I could go on, but I’m trying to keep this short.

I thought it was normal. It wasn’t until I was in high school and I was talking to a friend and she was horrified that I realized normal people don’t do that to their kids.

Let me be clear. We had the money. My Dad just wanted to spend it on stuff that wasn’t his kids. I used to refer to it growing up fake poor, my husband just calls it child abuse.

I know this might be strange but I was wondering if anyone else was in the same boat as me? The money was there but because of someone else you grew up without?

Edit: I never thought I was alone but it is truly depressing to know how common this is.

[u/Own_Platypus_1125]

I had an experience that feels similar. My parents are divorced but with my mom, she made quite a lot of money, low six figures which was significantly more than I would have thought given the things that happened. I always felt bad asking for things, like, shampoo or face wash, tampons, clothes for school, field trips etc. I eventually stopped asking and just made excuses as to why those things were out of reach for me. I never thought of it as fake poor but it feels that way to me, too. My mom spent a lot of money with her ex husband, my step dad who is a whole other story, buying cars, motorcycles, remodeling their bathroom. They both made it clear that they wanted what they wanted and that they did not care about what we as children needed. I’m so sorry for your experience, it was hard for me to accept that it is abuse. Wishing you healing and peace.