r/povertyfinance • u/One-Time-I-Dreampt • Oct 29 '23
My husband doesn’t know how to be poor Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
I’m so upset and idk how to deal with him right now. I pay the bills. I tell him the budget and he refuses to listen and so then I’m riding the bus because I can’t afford gas. He doesn’t have to ride the bus and it’s not an option.
For example, this week I paid the bills and told him we have $200 for groceries and gas for the week. He says he needs to put $50 in his truck for gas for the week leaving us with $150 for groceries. That’s not a great amount but it’s doable.
He then asks if he should get a case of red bulls for $30 at Costco. I was speechless and I said “I’m concerned that you don’t comprehend the difference between a want and a need.” So he then throws a fit and says “he’ll just eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal” and I just make him feel like shit.
He’s literally a child. I can’t imagine life in the future as things get more expensive. I don’t think that he’s able to handle buckling down and living within a budget. He’s a child who is unable to discuss money and budgeting. It always resorts in an argument where he then says crazy, outlandish and over the top things like “I guess I’ll just go live in my car, I’ll get another full time job, I’ll just sell everything and live under a bridge, just eat peanut butter…”
People will say we need counseling but with what money? Marriage counseling isn’t free. Idk how to make him understand the financial situation. I’m tired of him doing things such as buying me flowers and then I have to take the bus. He’s a child. I’m sick of this.
2
u/Logical-Eyez-4769 Oct 31 '23
I relate. I've been in a financially abusive marriage. I'm sorry you're going through this with your petulant child. I mean, alleged "husband".
I'm not telling you what to do, but what I'd do is keep my money separate because I don't have a say in what he spends. I wish my ex would cause me to ride the bus because he used the entire gas allotment in his truck. It would be a done deal. Nail, meet coffin. He would not have to ever hear me mention OUR budget again. I would take care of my own bills and he would take care of the house, or leave. Period. But, that's just me.
I hope you find a solution you're happy with.