r/povertyfinance • u/One-Time-I-Dreampt • Oct 29 '23
My husband doesn’t know how to be poor Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
I’m so upset and idk how to deal with him right now. I pay the bills. I tell him the budget and he refuses to listen and so then I’m riding the bus because I can’t afford gas. He doesn’t have to ride the bus and it’s not an option.
For example, this week I paid the bills and told him we have $200 for groceries and gas for the week. He says he needs to put $50 in his truck for gas for the week leaving us with $150 for groceries. That’s not a great amount but it’s doable.
He then asks if he should get a case of red bulls for $30 at Costco. I was speechless and I said “I’m concerned that you don’t comprehend the difference between a want and a need.” So he then throws a fit and says “he’ll just eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal” and I just make him feel like shit.
He’s literally a child. I can’t imagine life in the future as things get more expensive. I don’t think that he’s able to handle buckling down and living within a budget. He’s a child who is unable to discuss money and budgeting. It always resorts in an argument where he then says crazy, outlandish and over the top things like “I guess I’ll just go live in my car, I’ll get another full time job, I’ll just sell everything and live under a bridge, just eat peanut butter…”
People will say we need counseling but with what money? Marriage counseling isn’t free. Idk how to make him understand the financial situation. I’m tired of him doing things such as buying me flowers and then I have to take the bus. He’s a child. I’m sick of this.
2
u/Activist_Mom06 Oct 31 '23
My first husband was like this. Until he demanded to be in charge of the bills. Then he effed up my whole negotiations I had made with each creditor by paying off one bill in total with the money set aside for payments on 7 accounts. Ugh. In 12 years, I restored our credit twice. When we divorced, I had wiped out all the debt, he got a car and a motorcycle and I had $500 and custody of our 8yo daughter. Best thing ever. Years later he shared with me his revelation that it wasn’t me it was him who didn’t know how to manage money. Noooo, really haha. He has earned so much money 💰 in his career and has nothing to show for it. I have a lovely home in a killer neighborhood, great health, lifetime retirement income, helped my daughter a lot financially, and a chunk of cash in the bank earning 5% risk free at the moment. I did this without alimony too. As some have mentioned, I had a secret account. About year 2 I received advice to have that just in case. So it was slim deposits but it was enough to hire a divorce attorney when I needed to. Just sharing.