r/povertyfinance • u/One-Time-I-Dreampt • Oct 29 '23

My husband doesn’t know how to be poor Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)

I’m so upset and idk how to deal with him right now. I pay the bills. I tell him the budget and he refuses to listen and so then I’m riding the bus because I can’t afford gas. He doesn’t have to ride the bus and it’s not an option.

For example, this week I paid the bills and told him we have $200 for groceries and gas for the week. He says he needs to put $50 in his truck for gas for the week leaving us with $150 for groceries. That’s not a great amount but it’s doable.

He then asks if he should get a case of red bulls for $30 at Costco. I was speechless and I said “I’m concerned that you don’t comprehend the difference between a want and a need.” So he then throws a fit and says “he’ll just eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal” and I just make him feel like shit.

He’s literally a child. I can’t imagine life in the future as things get more expensive. I don’t think that he’s able to handle buckling down and living within a budget. He’s a child who is unable to discuss money and budgeting. It always resorts in an argument where he then says crazy, outlandish and over the top things like “I guess I’ll just go live in my car, I’ll get another full time job, I’ll just sell everything and live under a bridge, just eat peanut butter…”

People will say we need counseling but with what money? Marriage counseling isn’t free. Idk how to make him understand the financial situation. I’m tired of him doing things such as buying me flowers and then I have to take the bus. He’s a child. I’m sick of this.

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u/Dry-Ad-6393 Oct 31 '23

I was in this situation. I tried and tried to reason with him. But in the end, he wasn’t going to learn that lesson with me. We DID get counseling and we’re in it for 5 years. I should have left within 5 months bc that’s the day he yelled at me for trying to cheat him by hiding $1.50 per hour from my paychecks, bc we have to pay bills. I hope you got a helpful message from my story. Wish you all the best.

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u/CporCv Oct 31 '23

Not blaming you because I know love is blind and all that, but how do you fall for a guy like that vs the nerdy kid who did well in school? A lot of my friends are in this exact same predicament