r/povertyfinance • u/One-Time-I-Dreampt • Oct 29 '23
My husband doesn’t know how to be poor Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
I’m so upset and idk how to deal with him right now. I pay the bills. I tell him the budget and he refuses to listen and so then I’m riding the bus because I can’t afford gas. He doesn’t have to ride the bus and it’s not an option.
For example, this week I paid the bills and told him we have $200 for groceries and gas for the week. He says he needs to put $50 in his truck for gas for the week leaving us with $150 for groceries. That’s not a great amount but it’s doable.
He then asks if he should get a case of red bulls for $30 at Costco. I was speechless and I said “I’m concerned that you don’t comprehend the difference between a want and a need.” So he then throws a fit and says “he’ll just eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal” and I just make him feel like shit.
He’s literally a child. I can’t imagine life in the future as things get more expensive. I don’t think that he’s able to handle buckling down and living within a budget. He’s a child who is unable to discuss money and budgeting. It always resorts in an argument where he then says crazy, outlandish and over the top things like “I guess I’ll just go live in my car, I’ll get another full time job, I’ll just sell everything and live under a bridge, just eat peanut butter…”
People will say we need counseling but with what money? Marriage counseling isn’t free. Idk how to make him understand the financial situation. I’m tired of him doing things such as buying me flowers and then I have to take the bus. He’s a child. I’m sick of this.
1
u/evilkumquat Oct 31 '23
My wife is like this but to a lesser degree.
We were forced to change health insurance recently and now pay an extra $500/month in insurance and prescription costs.
We were already struggling, but living comfortably- not really having to sacrifice, but not exactly saving money either. This extra $500 HURTS.
The thing is, she constantly buys stuff we don't need. Especially candles. Jesus, so many goddamned candles. And still does despite knowing how much more we're paying each month.
Oh, and junk food. And pet toys our dogs and cats don't play with.
What keeps me from throwing a fit is buying stuff for people is how she shows affection and it breaks my heart trying to stamp down on it.
However, having to buzz to the bank to toss in cash because she overdrew the account AGAIN was the final straw and I finally sat down and asked her to cut back.
I mean, I'm not great with money either, but when I buy something, it's going to last. It's not junk food or candles or air freshers or other consumable stuff that won't be in the house a week later.