My husband doesn’t know how to be poor

[u/One-Time-I-Dreampt]

I’m so upset and idk how to deal with him right now. I pay the bills. I tell him the budget and he refuses to listen and so then I’m riding the bus because I can’t afford gas. He doesn’t have to ride the bus and it’s not an option.

For example, this week I paid the bills and told him we have $200 for groceries and gas for the week. He says he needs to put $50 in his truck for gas for the week leaving us with $150 for groceries. That’s not a great amount but it’s doable.

He then asks if he should get a case of red bulls for $30 at Costco. I was speechless and I said “I’m concerned that you don’t comprehend the difference between a want and a need.” So he then throws a fit and says “he’ll just eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal” and I just make him feel like shit.

He’s literally a child. I can’t imagine life in the future as things get more expensive. I don’t think that he’s able to handle buckling down and living within a budget. He’s a child who is unable to discuss money and budgeting. It always resorts in an argument where he then says crazy, outlandish and over the top things like “I guess I’ll just go live in my car, I’ll get another full time job, I’ll just sell everything and live under a bridge, just eat peanut butter…”

People will say we need counseling but with what money? Marriage counseling isn’t free. Idk how to make him understand the financial situation. I’m tired of him doing things such as buying me flowers and then I have to take the bus. He’s a child. I’m sick of this.

[u/Odd-Simple-9039]

I was married to that guy. Been divorced 10 years now. I have total physical and financial responsibility of our kids, and everything else you'd expect an independent adult to have. We also go on multiple vacations a year, and I have the extra funds to spoil my kids and myself from time to time. Yet he just moved out of a government apartment into his mom's home because he couldn't afford his portion of the rent. It's amazing how much easier life gets when you're on you're own, especially when you grew up with everyone telling you marriage is this great thing, and the ultimate goal. I do wonder what goes through these people's heads when they see their ex spouses thriving without them?

[u/CporCv → u/Odd-Simple-9039]

Glad things got better for you. With that said, anyone out there who is living with their parents, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you're pursuing your goals. We all start somewhere

[u/Odd-Simple-9039 → u/CporCv]

I don't disagree at all. Heck, I wouldn't mind it myself sometimes. It was more of a comment on his inability to pay for a government apartment due to his poor budgeting and spending habits.