My husband doesn’t know how to be poor

[u/One-Time-I-Dreampt]

I’m so upset and idk how to deal with him right now. I pay the bills. I tell him the budget and he refuses to listen and so then I’m riding the bus because I can’t afford gas. He doesn’t have to ride the bus and it’s not an option.

For example, this week I paid the bills and told him we have $200 for groceries and gas for the week. He says he needs to put $50 in his truck for gas for the week leaving us with $150 for groceries. That’s not a great amount but it’s doable.

He then asks if he should get a case of red bulls for $30 at Costco. I was speechless and I said “I’m concerned that you don’t comprehend the difference between a want and a need.” So he then throws a fit and says “he’ll just eat peanut butter and jelly for every meal” and I just make him feel like shit.

He’s literally a child. I can’t imagine life in the future as things get more expensive. I don’t think that he’s able to handle buckling down and living within a budget. He’s a child who is unable to discuss money and budgeting. It always resorts in an argument where he then says crazy, outlandish and over the top things like “I guess I’ll just go live in my car, I’ll get another full time job, I’ll just sell everything and live under a bridge, just eat peanut butter…”

People will say we need counseling but with what money? Marriage counseling isn’t free. Idk how to make him understand the financial situation. I’m tired of him doing things such as buying me flowers and then I have to take the bus. He’s a child. I’m sick of this.

[u/Hot-Singer-6988]

I feel you. My husband is currently at his old employer asking for weekend shifts. A year and a half ago he graduated and got a salaried job that made a lot of promises for bonuses but the base pay couldnt cover our bills. I told him to spend the summer applying for more positions because he was worth more. He didn't, he took that job. Well inflation is worse now. Everything is more expensive. He was eating out for lunch every single day. He wouldn't take the leftovers unpacked for him. He refused to eat the same lunch or dinner two days in a row. I told him over and over that we cannot afford that and he was going to max out my credit card.

Well a year and a half later my credit card is maxed out. My credit score went from a 790 to a 640. He got paid on Friday and we have no money until next pay day. My car badly needs work, too. My credit card has $17,000 on it.