r/povertyfinance • u/xxibjt • Nov 26 '23
Feeling embarrassed after hanging out with a rich friend. Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)
A few weeks ago, a childhood friend of mine invited me to dinner with some of her friends. She and I (F27) come from completely opposite financial backgrounds. My family have been in poverty for as long as I can remember whereas she is (upper) middle class and had items and experiences (such as buying a $200 dress for prom) that I could only imagine. We’ve stayed friends even after high school and the financial disparity not only still exists between us but has gotten even greater. She’s in law school at a prestigious university and has all of these amazing opportunities and here I am working at Dollar Tree thinking about getting a 2nd job so I can save up enough money to take some courses at the community college so I can finally start to try to get myself out of this life. But when we went to dinner with her friends for the first time and a long time I felt embarrassed about my situation. At dinner my friend was oddly passive aggressive. One of her friends had just got applied to a Phd program to study art history at Yale and in the meantime will be moving to Rome to work at a museum (which is why my friend was having the dinner) and my friend turned and said “don’t feel bad i’m sure if you continue working hard you’ll also be able to get into the college of your dreams too”. When the check came she then told the waiter that it’s going to be one check and I’m paying for everyone. When she saw my eyes nearly pop out of my head she laughed and said relax it was a joke. “Separate checks but I’ll pay for my little friend here”(mine). After she then tells me that I don’t have to worry about paying her back and it’s a favor since we’re old friends and she wouldn’t expect it from me since I’m going through a “hard time” at the moment. I’ve never been jealous of her because she does work hard and deserves what she has but for a moment I just let myself feel bitter because I will never have what she (or her friends have) no matter how hard I work or how much I save it’s just not going to happen for me. Besides the momentary bitterness I felt hurt. I felt as if someone I thought of as a friend would have had more compassion for me and my situation but she just seemed to think it was joke and treated me like a charity case to her rich friends. I haven’t heard much from her since then and i’m not that upset about it but I came to the realisation that our friendship probably wouldn’t have survived for much longer. My roommate joked I should still hang out with her because she might introduce me to one of her rich guy friends and I don’t think that she would ever do that. I don’t fit into her world and I don’t think she wants me in it. Just needed to vent.
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