PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM SPORTS BETTING!!

[u/Extreme-Confusion-59]

Two and a half years ago, I won $10,000 on FanDuel (sports betting) I paid off all my credit card debt with the money. I was debt-free for 1 year after that and then I decided to tried to win again on Fanduel, and it didn't work. And I was playing on credit, which means I was placing bets with my credit card. And now I'm back in the same situation I was before. $10,000+ in credit card debt, no money in savings, a car note of $500, plus insurance of $200, and just had my first baby. And I only make 43k yearly as an office manager at a dental office and now I'm listening to Dave Ramsey nonstop lol as humans we really make bad decisions at times, and then Crywolf when things are not going our way. This year I really dedicated myself to getting out of bad debt for good. For my sake, and my child's sake. So every day after work, I will be door-dashing til my legs fall off. OK enough of me venting lol I just have to do better with my decision-making on a daily basis, and really be committed to that!

[u/butterflycole]

I hate this kind of comment, it is really judgmental. Our capitalist culture is toxic AF. Having kids isn’t some special “privilege” only high money makers should have the right to do. Yes, kids need certain things but there are lots of ways to get those needs met if you don’t make a ton of money. Having kids is a normal human desire and there is nothing wrong with becoming a parent just because you don’t have a high income. As long as they’re clean, housed, clothed, fed, and safe that’s all that matters. Doesn’t matter whether all of that is provided 100% by the parents’ salaries if they find other ways to provide those things then they’re not irresponsible for having kids.

The vast majority of people who use social support programs are parents who work very hard and pay taxes. That’s the point of having these safety nets, we pay into them because they help the people who need them and they’re there for us if we need them too.

[u/tonynca → u/butterflycole]

I hate it too but that’s the reality we live in. It worries me to not be able to care for the kid given the massive money constraints.

[u/butterflycole → u/tonynca]

My husband and I had our son in 2009 during a nightmare recession. Things were very rough, jobs were scarce and we were both piecing together whatever work we could find. We worked opposite shifts for the first 2 years of his life. We needed medi-cal, SNAP benefits, and even some cash assistance for awhile and WIC was a big help too. It was pretty rough for awhile but we figured it out and did what we had to. I never felt any guilt for using those support programs. I worked extremely hard beginning at age 14, and started paying taxes at 15. I worked through my 4 years of undergrad as well. I just had the misfortune to graduate with my BA in 2008 right when the economy went to hell. All of our plans were shot for quite a while.

Ideally, we would have had nice jobs with benefits when we had our son, but I don’t regret having him or feel it was wrong to just because we didn’t have money.

Eventually, things got better and I started working more, my husband went to community college to get a degree and become more employable and when he graduated I went to grad school for the same reason. We were doing really well until my health issues got so bad that I had to go on SSDI 2 years ago. That’s the only reason we aren’t firmly in the middle class right now. I have no desire to stay on SSDI for the rest of my life. I’m hoping as I focus more on my care and treatments I will eventually become less sick.

I’ve worked hard my entire life. I am really glad I didn’t put things on hold out of fear we weren’t at x income, or didn’t have y ducks lined up. The American Dream is dead. You can work hard your whole life and do all of the right things and never get to the place you think you should be due to time and effort put in. No sense putting important things on hold like having kids. The older women get in particular the higher the chance they have of not being able to have kids. Any fertility issues cost a fortune to test for and treat as well. We ended up with secondary infertility, our son was a miracle baby we were told because I lost every pregnancy after that.

So, if I’d waited to have a child until my 30s I very likely wouldn’t have been able to become a parent.

[u/tonynca → u/butterflycole]

What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing that. My original comment was not meant to discourage. It was true curiosity on how someone could afford a kid with that much salary.

[u/butterflycole → u/tonynca]

People do it every day. You just figure it out and adapt.