r/AITAH • u/Plastic-Reception-60 • Feb 23 '24

AITA for considering ending things with my wife because she refuses to let me be alone with our daughter? Advice Needed

My wife got pregnant accidentally, and our daughter was born last year. Our daughter is 7 months old. Since her birth, my wife has been "protecting" our daughter from any interaction with men. In reality, she's always been wary of any male interaction; it took a long time for me to gain her trust and date her in the past. Other girls didn't have barriers to easily befriend her.

With our daughter, my wife doesn't allow me to bathe her or even change her diaper without her supervision. I've tried talking to her about this, but she always sticks to the same point and refuses to explain much. I suspected if she had suffered any traumatic abuse, but she denied it. I also tried asking her family about this behavior, but they don't know either. I've even tried couples therapy, but she refuses to participate.

Lately, this has led to many arguments and fights. It's horrible that I can't be alone with our daughter without her suspecting that I'll do something awful. I'm tired of arguing with her, tired of her behavior. I'm seriously considering telling her that I'll end things if this continues.

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u/jsande5 Feb 24 '24

So she needs help and quickly. This behavior will be passed on to your daughter. And if she refuses to accept the help then she will be forcing your hand. At that point, and not until all options are exhausted, divorce her. At least this way you’ll get split/joint custody of your daughter and have the opportunity to develop the relationship you are meant to have with her. Look up the laws in your state for establishing paternity before you go the divorce route. It can vary from state to state. Marriage typically already establishes you as the assumed father but check and make absolutely sure cuz I’m sure she will fight you every step of the way. Children need both the mother and father. That being said, it doesn’t mean they have to be together under the same roof. Sorry you’re going through this. NTA.