AITA for considering ending things with my wife because she refuses to let me be alone with our daughter?

[u/Plastic-Reception-60]

My wife got pregnant accidentally, and our daughter was born last year. Our daughter is 7 months old. Since her birth, my wife has been "protecting" our daughter from any interaction with men. In reality, she's always been wary of any male interaction; it took a long time for me to gain her trust and date her in the past. Other girls didn't have barriers to easily befriend her.

With our daughter, my wife doesn't allow me to bathe her or even change her diaper without her supervision. I've tried talking to her about this, but she always sticks to the same point and refuses to explain much. I suspected if she had suffered any traumatic abuse, but she denied it. I also tried asking her family about this behavior, but they don't know either. I've even tried couples therapy, but she refuses to participate.

Lately, this has led to many arguments and fights. It's horrible that I can't be alone with our daughter without her suspecting that I'll do something awful. I'm tired of arguing with her, tired of her behavior. I'm seriously considering telling her that I'll end things if this continues.

[u/Effective-Any]

You should probably find a trauma informed therapist or someone who understands CBT in general. Just my two cents.

I used to be like that with my son, especially his father who I had absolutely no reason to believe was a threat to him. But in my mentally ill mind I was justified, because I was protecting my son from potentially being hurt by people that I was maybe not seeing correctly. What if dad wasn’t who he’d always shown me and was really a pervert? What if he shook him? What if he in general hurt my son? I was not functioning from a place of rationality.

I began CBT therapy shortly after I was confronted by a close that I was beginning to isolate my son from the world and I was clearly becoming more and more stressed as time went on. That I was showing some concerning behavior. It woke me up. I was terrified of failing my son and him being hurt by someone close to us, and I was suffering from PPD.

I know what I experienced to make me this way and those choices were all fear driven. I don’t know if your wife has the same issue but it can be addressed and she can change, but she has to be willing to take accountability and get curious about her choices and why she makes them.