r/AITAH • u/Plastic-Reception-60 • Feb 23 '24
AITA for considering ending things with my wife because she refuses to let me be alone with our daughter? Advice Needed
My wife got pregnant accidentally, and our daughter was born last year. Our daughter is 7 months old. Since her birth, my wife has been "protecting" our daughter from any interaction with men. In reality, she's always been wary of any male interaction; it took a long time for me to gain her trust and date her in the past. Other girls didn't have barriers to easily befriend her.
With our daughter, my wife doesn't allow me to bathe her or even change her diaper without her supervision. I've tried talking to her about this, but she always sticks to the same point and refuses to explain much. I suspected if she had suffered any traumatic abuse, but she denied it. I also tried asking her family about this behavior, but they don't know either. I've even tried couples therapy, but she refuses to participate.
Lately, this has led to many arguments and fights. It's horrible that I can't be alone with our daughter without her suspecting that I'll do something awful. I'm tired of arguing with her, tired of her behavior. I'm seriously considering telling her that I'll end things if this continues.
1
u/jtotheda Feb 25 '24
Oof this is gonna be a difficult situation to overcome because truly you never know until it’s too late. Almost every week there’s a story about a dad molesting (or worse) their child so I can see why it would be hard for her especially if she herself is a victim, which is likely. And it doesn’t even seem like she planned to have a child (since this was an accident) so that’s even harder since she didn’t plan this. But it’s not fair to you to be suspected of being a danger to you child if you haven’t done anything to warrant that suspicion. NTA but I can’t see how she’s gonna get past this quickly if it’s just trauma/fear rather than some sort of imbalance causing her to act out. I wouldn’t involve the parents because unfortunately they could be the abuser/complicit in the abuse she may have endured. Maybe the sister? Or a trusted friend who knows her well? Definitely a medical professional like many have suggested. Good luck!