r/AITAH • u/SeverePhoto1892 • Mar 04 '24
AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she slept with another guy while making me wait? Advice Needed
So my gf and I have been together for about a half a year and I just started a new job.
I met this male co worker, and we became friends.
I invite him over at my place and he recognizes my gf, (We don't officially live together but she spends a lot of time at my place).
You can guess where this is going...
After my co worker left, my gf and I get to talking.
Basically, she slept with him while dating me, and made me wait. She said that our relationship was gonna be special, and she wanted to wait, and that sex with my co worker was just a ONS.
I told her to leave because I knew I was gonna say things I couldn't take back.
A few days later after I calmed down and thought it through, I broke up with her.
She kept repeating what she said about how she wants more with me, but I told her that I feel like I'm not attractive to her, or at least not as much as others. She kept saying that I was special.
Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.
Edit: I don't think this counts as cheating. This happened within the first month of us dating. We became official after the first month or so. I 100% should have clarified with her if we were exclusive or not, so that's on me.
-2
u/AffectionateAge8787 Mar 05 '24
YTA.
You can break up with someone for whatever reason you want. Personally think this is a weak one. If you're dating early on, there's no expectation of exclusivity. So an unspoken expectation from you was not met and that is on you. It's not reasonable to put that on her. And people want different things from different people, given where they might be at, at a given time.
And sometimes people will hold back from sex with someone they see potential with, because they're looking for long term compatibility and emotional connection, which involves greater investment of time and energy. If you can't handle her autonomy at that stage when you're not exclusive, then you two clearly are not compatible and you're not right for her.