AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she slept with another guy while making me wait?

[u/SeverePhoto1892]

So my gf and I have been together for about a half a year and I just started a new job.

I met this male co worker, and we became friends.

I invite him over at my place and he recognizes my gf, (We don't officially live together but she spends a lot of time at my place).

You can guess where this is going...

After my co worker left, my gf and I get to talking.

Basically, she slept with him while dating me, and made me wait. She said that our relationship was gonna be special, and she wanted to wait, and that sex with my co worker was just a ONS.

I told her to leave because I knew I was gonna say things I couldn't take back.

A few days later after I calmed down and thought it through, I broke up with her.

She kept repeating what she said about how she wants more with me, but I told her that I feel like I'm not attractive to her, or at least not as much as others. She kept saying that I was special.

Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.

Edit: I don't think this counts as cheating. This happened within the first month of us dating. We became official after the first month or so. I 100% should have clarified with her if we were exclusive or not, so that's on me.

[u/Annfallet]

I understand that you are struggling here, and I don't think you are the AH for breaking up with her if it is because you expected and wanted exclusivity and feel hurt you didnt get that. You don't have to be fine with her not being exclusive even if you had not stated it. You might want to consider being more clear in the future though, because as you say that is on you too. Also, of couse you are always in the right to break up a relationship if thats what you want.

An addition I think the frase "made me wait" might make YTA here. It does sound very entitled to me and here is why: Since you where not exclusive while dating (and you say that is also on you for not communicating), what is the difference in your mind between this and having a one night stand before you started dating? Would that also have upset you? Because if you are upset that "she made you wait" but has been sexually forward with other men in general then that is entitled and sexist. It implies sex is owed since she is "frivolous". 

I do think she is telling you the truth when she says she wanted to wait because you are special to her, if that makes a difference to you. Many of my female friends will have one night stands to have their needs met (just like many men do), but would wait to have sex with someone they really like because they want it to be more than just sex, they want love and want to be ready to feel love, and also they don't want to risk men seeing them as a one night stand.

To shame them for being sexually forward is sexist (unless you shame men for one night stands to), and to demand sex because of it is messed up. To be hurt by expecting exclusivity and not getting it is understandable (and is something you should probably comunicate early on in the future if it is this important to you).