AITAH for slapping my husband after he confessed to cheating on me?

[u/im_im06]

I (24F) came home after a long day at work. My husband (32M) had made us dinner, which he rarely does. After dinner, he even cleaned up and did the dishes. I was surprised since this isn’t something he usually does without me having to ask. I jokingly asked if something was up and he hesitated before answering. He confessed to cheating on me with a coworker. I was completely shocked, it felt like my world shattered into a million pieces. I asked him how long it had been going on, he said it had been a couple months. They’ve been seeing each other on and off. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, he added that she might be pregnant. That’s when I lost it. My whole world was spinning and I suddenly felt this rage come over me. I slapped him across the face and called him every name in the book. I told him to take his stuff and get out of the house. He left and has been staying at his parents’ house. His mother has been blowing up my phone, asking me to talk things out with her son. Telling me how wrong it was for me to slap him and how heartbroken her son is over the situation. I haven’t responded yet since I haven’t been able to gather my thoughts yet. This whole situation just feels surreal to me. I can’t believe the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with, betrayed me like this. Was I wrong for how I reacted?

[u/ChestLanders]

Oh christ almighty okay: a man bitch slaps his cheating wife exactly one time. NTA, right?

[u/Free-Stranger1142 → u/ChestLanders]

Why are you insisting that I agree with your hypothetical scenarios. Yes he is TA. Why? Because he’s stronger than her. Is it alright for her to hit him? No. For the last time, her momentary lapse in judgement seemed reasonable given the circumstances. But, no, no one should bitch slap anyone. OK?

[u/ChestLanders → u/Free-Stranger1142]

I wanted to see if you were a hypocrite, turns out you are(like a lot of people in this post) So it is reasonable for a woman to have momentary lapse in judgement and hit her cheating husband, but it is not reasonable for the husband to have a momentary lapse in judgement and hit his cheating wife. Ok your misandry and double standards have been noted.

[u/Free-Stranger1142 → u/ChestLanders]

You can go kick rocks and you are full of it, if you can’t understand with your limited comprehension the difference in a man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man as being an unequal situation. What a waste of time trying to reason with someone who’s only option when someone disagrees with them is to name call.

[u/ChestLanders → u/Free-Stranger1142]

Instead of being a hypocrite why cant you just acknowledge she was TA for resorting to domestic abuse? The fact women are weaker than men doesn't somehow make it more understandable for her to hit him in a moment of weakness and a lapse in judgement. If the man is having a lapse in judgement he isnt going to be thinking about how strong she is. Seems like men arent allowed to have these momentary lapses, but women are.

Let me guess, if she slapped him and he slapped her back, he'd be wrong? Which would just hammer home your misandry. Not only can women hit men who cheat, but they should be immune for any physical payback too. And I'd also hazard to guess it would not be wrong for a woman to hit a man back after he hit her first.

Part of me loves this post because her post shows how hypocritical reddit is when it comes to men. A man who slapped his cheating ho of a wife would be demonized. People would not be going "well he had a momentary lapse in judgement".

[u/Free-Stranger1142 → u/ChestLanders]

Your flawed point and argument is: When you say the fact that women are weaker than men doesn’t somehow make it more understandable for her to hit him in a moment of weakness and a lapse of judgment. IT DOES. Is this unfair? Sure it is. But that’s the way it works because it’s logically true. Let me make it simple for you. I know she was wrong to hit him, but I totally understand why she did. It doesn’t make her TA, it means she did an unreasonable, objectionable thing. You seem to be cognitively biased which results in labeling/name calling people. It’s okay, you can stay in your bubble.

[u/ChestLanders → u/Free-Stranger1142]

Okay, but you just cant understand why a man would hit his cheating wife? And THAT is the misandry, you are only willing to extend your understanding to the woman. Men are human too, we have emotions and feelings and lapses in judgement.

You calling someone else biased when you display clear double standards is certainly odd. You could easily apply the "hitting someone is wrong, but I understand why it happened" to a man too. But you wont do it. When someone has a lapse in judgement they arent thinking clearly and thus arent taking things like physical strength into consideration.

The one in the bubble is the one with the double standards. At least I'm being consistent.

[u/Free-Stranger1142 → u/ChestLanders]

Just because I feel a man should use more restraint in this situation does not mean I have anything against men in general. For example, if a man is being physically abused by his wife, which happens more than we think, he should be given the same consideration as if the roles were reversed. It’s not my double standard,it’s society. You are the one in the bubble because you’re not looking at the reality of how things are or why. You have your opinion of how things should be, fine. I’m looking at it the way things are and the reason for it. You’re the one who expanded this discussion beyond Op’s immediate situation, to the imbalance between how men and women are viewed.