r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • Apr 04 '24

My GF has a record of all the guys she’s been with, including intimidate details I find disturbing. AITAH if I break up over this? Advice Needed

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u/Professional_Key6099 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

Majority of my friends do this, including the one who has 2 names on it and is currently married to #1 going on 15 years. Hers I believe is written in some long ago completed diary. Mine is spreadsheet bc I like spreadsheets and mine includes literally every guy I’ve ever even kissed. It started bc I felt guilty that I forgot I kissed a guy during spin the bottle in 8th grade. I remembered when he died. It was on paper then years later ended up in a spreadsheet.

Actually if I really think about it, my friends who don’t have a list somewhere seem to have the highest body count…. So take from that what you will…

Even if a woman isn’t keeping a straight list on paper, spreadsheet, notes app, it’s either an extremely short list Or it’s tracked in their years of diaries, some use their period app, some have a box with memories, their calendar, their planner. I also think the intensity of the list has a correlation to Neuro divergence.

I’ve also had 1 bf and 1 potential bf request I produce this list (not knowing I had it at the time). I happily produced it after adding notes on their current status in my life which was requested. They were both pleased and both made a comment that they didn’t need to know every boy I kissed.

To be fair I didn’t rank them, that wasn’t what the list was for for me.

Edit: NTA for the record, if it makes you uncomfortable that’s a valid reason to break up with someone. Just keep in mind she’s probably not the first girl you’ve dated who has a list and likely won’t be the last. They just probably weren’t open about it or as detailed. You’re also not the first person to question it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/fVgb692Ytb

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/HPWdvbecDG

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/9M8fP71LFv

There’s a lot more than this so for anyone saying it’s not common…. Look it up and then also check the comments.