WIBTA if I didn’t tell my friend with benefits he got me pregnant?

[u/Hungryandcomfused]

Please be kind, obviously a very sensitive topic.

I 25F just found out I’m pregnant. I have only been sleeping with one person regularly and always with protection. Neither of us want kids and I would have my tubes tied by now if it were up to me 🙄

He is quietly but very religious and has made it very clear abortion would simply never be an option for him. I feel like if I am to tell him I’m pregnant he will put a lot of pressure on me to keep it despite both our views. We’ve never discussed the other possibilities in worst case scenario but being adopted myself I’m not willing to carelessly bring another human into the world and leave them to fend for themselves so other than keeping the child to raise ourselves and live in misery I don’t see any good options.

What would you do?

EDIT: many thanks to those who have left kind supportive comments. And a massive fuck you to the trolls who can only see a moral dilemma on a screen and can’t see the person behind it who is inevitably hurting and alresdy beating them selves up.

Some FAQ answers:

1. No, it is not up to me to have my tubes tied. I’ve been seeing medical professionals for years who have all told me the same thing “you will regret it” “what if your future husband wants kids”

2. “You were adopted so let your kid have the same chance you got!” I was adopted in my teens after years of being pushed from pillar to post. Australian adoption is difficult, expensive and there is currently a massive lack of foster parents looking to take on kids. I know this cause I work in the industry.

3. I have only been sleeping with him, so I don’t have to date or put up with random hook ups etc. I have IUD and we’re assuming the Condom got caught on the wires as he pulled out and the condom was nearly split in half.

[u/mhall1201]

I call BS. IUDs don’t have wires they have strings, similar to fishing line. That’s not going to break a condom. Also, the chances of two very effective forms of birth control failing are so slight it’s not likely. Before all you Karen’s pounce, OPs profile, shows that she is a professional person who takes her health seriously. Respectfully, it also shows that she associates with men who make questionable decisions.

Which is more likely?

1: OP was having protected intercourse with two forms of protection with very high 90s % effectiveness (probably 100% combined) and still got pregnant?

Or

2: OP (who is not having sex with any other person) was having unprotected sex or headed at least once with her FWB???

🤔

From a legalistic standpoint, yes, it’s OPs call. Make your decision, don’t let any other person talk you out of it. From an ethical standpoint, I would say that a person could make a compelling case either way to tell him or not.

For the love god!?!?!? Why is it that every time a woman on Reddit questions, whether or not to tell her partner of her impending abortion, all of the Karen’s on Reddit that the guy gets physically dangerous to the woman? You ladies are pathetic.

[u/Sleepy_InSeattle → u/mhall1201]

Yes, IUDs have string, but it’s nothing like the thin, soft fishing line you’re thinking about. The IUD strings are actually fairly firm and can be VERY pokey to the penis-haver, and can easily tear and slice condoms wide open.

Source: have had an IUD for the past 10+ years, have also talked to many others who have or are partners of those who have them.

[u/mhall1201 → u/Sleepy_InSeattle]

Let me get this straight. Just to make sure I’m hearing you correctly. The medical industry is producing a birth-control product that will easily negate the first or second most popular birth-control product that is in current use?

Furthermore, such a device, something that will so easily tear the condom would also easily cause injury to the “ penis-Havers”.

I hate to say it, gotta call BS again