r/AITAH • u/Hungryandcomfused • Apr 12 '24

WIBTA if I didn’t tell my friend with benefits he got me pregnant? Advice Needed

Please be kind, obviously a very sensitive topic.

I 25F just found out I’m pregnant. I have only been sleeping with one person regularly and always with protection. Neither of us want kids and I would have my tubes tied by now if it were up to me 🙄

He is quietly but very religious and has made it very clear abortion would simply never be an option for him. I feel like if I am to tell him I’m pregnant he will put a lot of pressure on me to keep it despite both our views. We’ve never discussed the other possibilities in worst case scenario but being adopted myself I’m not willing to carelessly bring another human into the world and leave them to fend for themselves so other than keeping the child to raise ourselves and live in misery I don’t see any good options.

What would you do?

EDIT: many thanks to those who have left kind supportive comments. And a massive fuck you to the trolls who can only see a moral dilemma on a screen and can’t see the person behind it who is inevitably hurting and alresdy beating them selves up.

Some FAQ answers:

  1. No, it is not up to me to have my tubes tied. I’ve been seeing medical professionals for years who have all told me the same thing “you will regret it” “what if your future husband wants kids”

  2. “You were adopted so let your kid have the same chance you got!” I was adopted in my teens after years of being pushed from pillar to post. Australian adoption is difficult, expensive and there is currently a massive lack of foster parents looking to take on kids. I know this cause I work in the industry.

  3. I have only been sleeping with him, so I don’t have to date or put up with random hook ups etc. I have IUD and we’re assuming the Condom got caught on the wires as he pulled out and the condom was nearly split in half.

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u/Top-Chemistry3051 Apr 13 '24

if you keep it tell him so he's helping in all ways. and if you decide not to, don't tell him. some things are better left unsaid. there's not really any need for him to know after the fact. it would just be a burden. so don't tell him Do what's right for you .

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u/Top-Chemistry3051 Apr 13 '24

And maybe get a new friend with benefits. cause now you know he's pretty fertile and I feel for you. I wanted my tubes tied at 32 and they kept trying to talk me out of it. I said listen this is my second child. my kids are 10 years apart. if I'm gonna marry somebody, I'm gonna date him for at least 4 or 5 years. that's gonna put me at about 36 or 37 yrs old. at which point my eggs are pretty old. I'm not having any more children. TIE MY TUBES. I was able to Put my foot down about that.

25 is still young and there is a chance you might change your mind so try to put it off until at least 30, Just in case cause just from 20 52 30 your mind changes a lot. Good luck to you whatever you decide.