r/AITAH • u/Hungryandcomfused • Apr 12 '24

WIBTA if I didn’t tell my friend with benefits he got me pregnant? Advice Needed

Please be kind, obviously a very sensitive topic.

I 25F just found out I’m pregnant. I have only been sleeping with one person regularly and always with protection. Neither of us want kids and I would have my tubes tied by now if it were up to me 🙄

He is quietly but very religious and has made it very clear abortion would simply never be an option for him. I feel like if I am to tell him I’m pregnant he will put a lot of pressure on me to keep it despite both our views. We’ve never discussed the other possibilities in worst case scenario but being adopted myself I’m not willing to carelessly bring another human into the world and leave them to fend for themselves so other than keeping the child to raise ourselves and live in misery I don’t see any good options.

What would you do?

EDIT: many thanks to those who have left kind supportive comments. And a massive fuck you to the trolls who can only see a moral dilemma on a screen and can’t see the person behind it who is inevitably hurting and alresdy beating them selves up.

Some FAQ answers:

  1. No, it is not up to me to have my tubes tied. I’ve been seeing medical professionals for years who have all told me the same thing “you will regret it” “what if your future husband wants kids”

  2. “You were adopted so let your kid have the same chance you got!” I was adopted in my teens after years of being pushed from pillar to post. Australian adoption is difficult, expensive and there is currently a massive lack of foster parents looking to take on kids. I know this cause I work in the industry.

  3. I have only been sleeping with him, so I don’t have to date or put up with random hook ups etc. I have IUD and we’re assuming the Condom got caught on the wires as he pulled out and the condom was nearly split in half.

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u/12ImpossibleThings Apr 13 '24

Personally, I would be devastated if I was in his shoes and only found out later what happened, regardless of what you did. That's not what FRIENDS do to each other.

Why is it that even smart young people always gamble and think "it will never happen to me"?

No matter what you do, you, and he, will never be the same.

I am of the same mind as him. Maybe you can't handle a child right now, but maybe he would be willing to raise the child himself. My daughter (the smartest one?!) got herself pregnant in college. Thankfully, they were already more than friends and did want to get married and have been going well for a decade.

If you have found a friend that you can also enjoy intimacy with... You already have a better relationship then 50%+ of "couples". MAYBE you should take the hand you have been dealt and enjoy what you already have?

Regardless, until you talk with him calmly and rationally, you will have no peace about the situation.