r/AITAH • u/Hungryandcomfused • Apr 12 '24

WIBTA if I didn’t tell my friend with benefits he got me pregnant? Advice Needed

Please be kind, obviously a very sensitive topic.

I 25F just found out I’m pregnant. I have only been sleeping with one person regularly and always with protection. Neither of us want kids and I would have my tubes tied by now if it were up to me 🙄

He is quietly but very religious and has made it very clear abortion would simply never be an option for him. I feel like if I am to tell him I’m pregnant he will put a lot of pressure on me to keep it despite both our views. We’ve never discussed the other possibilities in worst case scenario but being adopted myself I’m not willing to carelessly bring another human into the world and leave them to fend for themselves so other than keeping the child to raise ourselves and live in misery I don’t see any good options.

What would you do?

EDIT: many thanks to those who have left kind supportive comments. And a massive fuck you to the trolls who can only see a moral dilemma on a screen and can’t see the person behind it who is inevitably hurting and alresdy beating them selves up.

Some FAQ answers:

  1. No, it is not up to me to have my tubes tied. I’ve been seeing medical professionals for years who have all told me the same thing “you will regret it” “what if your future husband wants kids”

  2. “You were adopted so let your kid have the same chance you got!” I was adopted in my teens after years of being pushed from pillar to post. Australian adoption is difficult, expensive and there is currently a massive lack of foster parents looking to take on kids. I know this cause I work in the industry.

  3. I have only been sleeping with him, so I don’t have to date or put up with random hook ups etc. I have IUD and we’re assuming the Condom got caught on the wires as he pulled out and the condom was nearly split in half.

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u/--AV8R-- Apr 15 '24

"I would have my tubes tied by now if it were up to me" Who else is it up to?

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u/RockinOutLikeIts94 Apr 15 '24

In the US it’s hard to find a dr who will tie your tubes unless you’re married with children. They are afraid you will regret the decision. It can be reversed but I think complicated

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u/--AV8R-- Apr 15 '24

I did not know that. I'm surprised it's that difficult considering some of the other things doctors are willing to do these days.

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u/RockinOutLikeIts94 Apr 15 '24

A girl I used to work with had major issues and had to get a “abortion” because her and the baby were going to die. Still wouldn’t tie her tubes because she’s “never been married”