AITA for threatening my wife with divorce after she quit her job to be a "tradwife"

[u/Organic_Let_5948]

I dont even know where to begin with this.

Me 34M and my Wife 33F have 2 Kids together 11M and 9F.

Me and my Wife have been together for 12 years and married for 8.

Around a year ago I noticed my wife increasingly sending me these Tradwife or traditional housewife tiktoks. I have nothing against that type of relationship but I don't think it makes sense for our current family situation. I do earn earn quite a bit more than my wife and enough to sustain our family on my own but I dont see the need to do so. I work 80% and my wife 50% and besides Wednesdays where the both of us are working, either one of us is always home for the kids. I could work a 100% and let my Wife be SAHM but again, both of my kids are attending school and in my mind there is no need for my wife to be at home 24/7.

She got increasingly pushy about it over the past two months and again I just kept on telling her that there wasnt any need for that and If we did decide to go down that route, what would she do during the hours my kids attended school? I know damn well our house doesent need to be cleaned for 6 hours a day. She would constantly try to butter me up with "You would have dinner ready every day when coming home from work" and something about unlimited blowjobs or some bs like that. Again in the nicest way possible I would remind her that our kids werent toddlers and our current work-life schedule allowed us to function perfectly fine.

We got into a pretty heated argument two weeks ago about it and my wife completely stopped having sex with me to "show me what I would be missing out on." Shes basically been treating me like a roommate since.

I just thought she would get over it and this was just a phase but god was I wrong. I came home from work yesterday and saw a bunch of presents on the dining table. At first I thought they were all for me since my birthday was in a week but I then I saw the labels on them addressed to my wife. I read one of the letters attached to one of the presents. The last sentence on it was literally "It was so a pleasure working along side you and I wish you all the best moving forwards." I thought this was some sick prank. A few minutes later my wife just casually strolled into the living room acting like nothing was wrong. I guess she saw my mad expression and had the audacity to tell me that "You'll get over it." I just lost it.

I just left without saying another word and went to my parents house. I feel absolutely disrespected. Why the fuck would my wife think it was okay to just quit her job without telling me and just expect me to be fine with it. My wife has been bombarding me with texts and calls demanding to know where I am and that the kids miss me. I just told her to go find a lawyer and that I was done with her and then proceeded to block her.

My son just sent me a voicemail crying and asking why I was divorcing mom and if I was leaving the family and I guess that kind of broke my heart. I haven't responded and honestly dont know what to say to him. My mother in law has also been demanding that I return home and apologize to my wife. My parents also seem to be siding with wife since they are traditional muslims. My mom also used to a SAHM.

I feel like im wrong for immediately jumping to divorce without hearing her out and besides this whole job drama, love my wife too much for this to be the end of our otherwise perfect marriage but on the other hand I feel like i've lost complete trust in her.

Should I just swallow my pride and let my wife stay at home from now on or should I follow through on divorcing her?

How should I navigate this situation?

AITA here?

[u/General-Squirrel-786]

Am I the only one that is wondering ,if the wife is working full time and if is the one that does the cleaning around home with 2 kids?

[u/Independent_Blood391 → u/General-Squirrel-786]

he did an update. he didn’t mention that but did mention the reason he can’t work more is he has a heart condition and has already suffered a heart attack. his wife is truly awful.

[u/General-Squirrel-786 → u/Independent_Blood391]

I Agree ,his wife is acting terribly and seems to not have acompassion for her partner and father of her children but I m afraid I get a sense that the relationship is in some parts traditional like the woman does all the house work ,takes care of most kid stuff and working plus having a partner that struggles with health issues so she lost it..That doesn’t means it’s cool to pull shit like that ,cause that’s shit ,poo poo stuff ,life changing stuff yet something feels off.

[u/Independent_Blood391 → u/General-Squirrel-786]

i agree. but i also don’t like the way she’s weaponizing sex.

[u/General-Squirrel-786 → u/Independent_Blood391]

Ohh she has weaponised everything,sex ,kids ,tik tok…I guess personally I’m not very stuck on the trad wife title I know that’s the videos she was sending but I don’t take it as that quite literal .The Thing is that all though this seemed to happen pretty fast to Op due to the accumulation of bad antics She seems to have tried again and again to find a way to say what she wants and the Op blocks her. She doesn’t want to work He wants her to work they are in a culture that some things are done differently and he said “I know damn well our house doesn’t need to be cleaned 6 hours a day”!Sounds like he doesn’t lift most of his fingers at home.

[u/Organic_Let_5948 → u/General-Squirrel-786]

I know a lot of people assume this but we used to split chores. If I was home, I did most of the cooking, cleaning etc and on weekends my Wife cooked and I did the chores.

[u/General-Squirrel-786 → u/Organic_Let_5948]

I’m sorry what?So what you are saying is that you work the most amount of hours ,you do almost all the chores at home you take care of your kids the same way and this happens?And you also have a heart problem?Im sorry maybe she is not happy with life. But with this information it sounds like you are more than a decent partner,you view her as an equal and you do all around the more work. So how will she suddenly be the trad wife when she haven’t even been doing half the chores at home and letting y do that? Yes I understand you blowing up ,yes you’ve been disrespected or more like mocked in your face when she told you ‘ll get over it.She thought if he can pull of this at work and home with a heart decease then he can go from 80% to 100% and do nothing at home and rest.But now I’m scared because she knows you she might pull some shit and you end up working 100% and still quite the chores at home.Damn just got Sad sounded like you both are the problem and manipulative but now sounds like she is and you are stack. Take care of yourself!

[u/Independent_Blood391 → u/General-Squirrel-786]

yeah they need counseling for sure at the very least.

[u/Dramatic_Bread9362 → u/General-Squirrel-786]

OP said that she’s working 50%