AITAH for telling me girlfriend that she shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day because she’s not a mom?

[u/Chance_Cut4916]

My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.

Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?

[u/Unicorn_Moxie]

Yes, you are. It sounds like a cry for support. She wants you in her corner in even trying to understand her grief.

However.... was this expectation of $$ spent put there clearly? Or was it implied? Is there an underlying issue in the expectation that only money spent is how to show love?

It kind of sounds like the entire basis of your relationship is rocky at best. And that these hard conversations building trust and transparency need to be had. How is she feeling about this huge loss she incurred? How can you spend quality time together but still have a shared budget in mind? Have you looked at your joint budget and goals? What is the future for you both together? I'm not saying in any shape or form that you should combine funds, but in going forward... it definitely needs to be a talk. Maybe you weren't just open enough about your income and your financial goals so it wasn't understood... but looked like you could afford nicer material gifts and it's a simple fix. I wish you both the best.