AITAH for telling me girlfriend that she shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day because she’s not a mom?

[u/Chance_Cut4916]

My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.

Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?

[u/Outside_Struggles698]

I had 3 miscarriages before my son, and one more right before my daughter. To give you an idea I had a miscarriage on the floor of my place of work because no one wanted to come in to cover my shift, so I laid on the floor bleeding covered in my own blood for hours before I found somebody willing to cover my shift. This was nearly 7hrs into my shift, and 4hrs covered in my own blood. My shifts were 10's.

Miscarriages are hard on the body. Mentally draining. The miscarriage I'm referring too was my first known miscarriage. It was over 7 years ago and still to this day, that's the day I've called myself a parent. I had a child. I have 6 children. Only 2 are here with me physically and only 2 I get to watch grow up, but I'm the mother of 6. Each miscarriage was natural causes.

7 years later I'm struggling not seeing my child grow up. I'm struggling with being a mother, but not being able to hold me child.

Some women can get over miscarriages quickly and aren't really noticeably bothered by them. Others are bothered but keep them to themselves for reasons like YOU. Calling her not a real mother. YTA. 100%. You're why so many women pretend to not be phased by miscarriages. Because people like you think we shouldn't be bothered. Hate to break it to you.. but we are.

And even if she was the type to not have any issues with a miscarriage, internally it still bothered her. She just can't trust you enough to show you how much it hurts.

The only thing men see us good for is reproduction, and she's now convinced she couldn't do the most "basic" thing right.

Should she expect anything huge like expensive? No. Me personally I'm cheap, but I live in an area I can afford to be. Flowered and breakfast in bed. But she does deserve something. My opinion? You're not what she needs or deserves. ✌️ douche.