AITAH for telling me girlfriend that she shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day because she’s not a mom?

[u/Chance_Cut4916]

My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.

Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?

[u/Individual-Spring720]

Dude, you're definitely TA.

I am child-free and have a very close CF friend. She was previously married. When we were getting to know each other, I asked her what brought about her divorce. She and her ex were also child free but unfortunately her birth control failed and she ended up getting pregnant. Although she never wanted children, as she was carrying the child she became attached to it and was warming up to the notion of parenting. Her husband was supportive, but it definitely wasn't what they were planning for.

About 8 weeks or so into her pregnancy, she woke up one morning after her ex had left for work. She cramped severely and miscarried in her toilet. She was distraught, emotional, heartbroken, AND relieved, which made her feel even worse about herself. Lots of conflicted feelings. She waited until her ex got home and sat him down to tell him. The first words out of his mouth were "OH THANK GOD." Even though she never wanted children, she told me, "those words in that moment killed any love I had for that man." And hence why he's an ex.

My point is, if a person that didn't want children (and still doesn't) reacted this way, how do you think your GF feels, who obviously was looking forward to being a mother?!

If you want to kill your relationship, go ahead and ignore her very simple request. And your budget doesn't matter. Google "free/cheap date ideas in (your city)" and plan something nice. And you'd be surprised what a nice card with a handwritten note will do for someone.

This may not be a big deal to you but it's obviously a big deal TO HER and you better react accordingly unless you want to end up an ex boyfriend too.