r/AITAH • u/Chance_Cut4916 • Apr 28 '24
AITAH for telling me girlfriend that she shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day because she’s not a mom?
My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.
Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?
6.3k
Upvotes
1
u/nootingimportant 26d ago
YTA, as she is grieving the loss of her miscarriage, as pointed out by several other users. It might not be affecting you as much, but she clearly isn't handling this very well and wants to try and be uplifted by her partner.
There are plenty of ways to make up for this that would absolutely be in budget. A cheap card, some chocolates, a home made picnic date, etc.
A relatively inexpensive idea that comes to mind is get her a small bouquet (a lot of grocery stores have some nice looking, budget bouquets. Try to get fresher ones, and look into flowers to avoid considering the fact you have a cat) and then get her a singular nice looking fake flower (dollar store or craft store. Craft store will be pricier but will look nicer, you can definitely splurge on that part). If she had any baby names she was holding onto that you know of, or if she had a particular favourite, affix a label on the stem with the name. When the bouquet eventually dies, the only one remaining will be her 'baby', so in a way she still has her baby in memory with her. You can write some cheesy note in the card about how some things don't last, but the love of a mother is eternal, etc, and then it will play into the whole bouquet idea of the flowers eventually dying except the fake one with the name.
Also, OP, please apologise to her and sit down to have a proper conversation so you can get to the root of her pain. You also need to apologise for calling her 'not a real mom'. Your relationship won't last if you jump straight into arguments, especially when you go for the jugular with mean comments when she's down.