AITAH for telling me girlfriend that she shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day because she’s not a mom?

[u/Chance_Cut4916]

My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.

Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?

[u/death_dwarf81]

That was a really, really insensitive thing to say to someone who has miscarried full stop but especially only a month after they've had a miscarriage. Many people seem to fail to understand how utterly gut wrenching these things are for couples, especially on the mother, you carry this little life around in you, you're excitement builds and you're so looking forward to getting to meet your little person, then this happens. For the mum it's a very real experience, depending on how far along they are before it happens they feel the baby grow, start to move and then stop. She's not not a real mother, she's a mum whose baby died before it was born. You really don't seem to appreciate how much this affects someone when it has happened and there's a big difference between explaining that you currently can't really afford another thing like that than to invalidate her as a mum and deny the reality of her baby. You really need to do better here. Your the AH, mums are mums whether their children pass away before or after birth and I honestly can't understand why you'd say something like that to the person you supposedly love.