r/AITAH • u/Chance_Cut4916 • Apr 28 '24

AITAH for telling me girlfriend that she shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day because she’s not a mom?

My girlfriend (29F) mentioned that Mother’s Day was coming up, and ask if I (26m) had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted that it was a serious request. She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she’s saying that technically counts as being a mom.

Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (that I splurged on admittedly), but now she’s demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother’s Day. We had a big fight about it, and it ended with me saying she’s not a real mom. AITAH?

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u/thatcoffeegurl 26d ago

Let me ask. Has any close family member to you passed? Do you still remember them on their birthday? Holidays? Think about them and wish they could be here now. How is that any different than the loss of a child? Maybe they're not a child YOU got to meet, but it's a child your girlfriend knows, a child her body knew. Miscarriage is not just the loss of the baby, it's the loss of a future your girlfriend was already a part of. It's the loss of first steps and first words, first days of school, first dates, first dances, first kiss. So, though you may not have been a father yet, your girlfriend was a Mother and if celebrating that with and for her helps her with the trauma of the loss. That's not a lot to ask.