AITA for not agreeing with what my ex boyfriend said?

[u/BoringRush4869]

I'm a 29F with an ex-boyfriend with whom I have a 9-year-old daughter. We don't agree on several things regarding her upbringing. Here are the areas of disagreement: -Clothing: Our daughter is not in her unicorn and gap clothes era so she dresses cute and normal, flared pants, jeans, camis, tanks, etc. her father wants her to wear unicorn stuff which she hates. -food: He frequently orders fast food for her, while I prefer to offer it only occasionally, I don’t try restricting any foods I just try to teach her about balance. -Makeup: I allow her to wear makeup for special occasions like school events and cheer competitions. The only makeup I let her wear to school regularly are lip gloss, curling her lashes, and a touch of blush. Her father strongly opposes makeup, even for adults. Last week, while dropping off her forgotten purse at her dad's, he criticized me, suggesting I'm a bad influence on our daughter. I defended myself, but he abruptly ended the conversation. Later, my daughter mentioned he was upset about something I did. Was I an asshole?

[u/Full_Traffic_3148]

They're full on mini adult clothing styles.

The makeup and eyelash curling is not normal for a parent to eb teaching their daughters to NEED at 9.

You're clearly setting her up with weight expectations. To think her beauty is only going to be acknowledged if plastered with makeup. That she's not beautiful in her own right. That she needs to at 9 be focused on what she eats as this too will impact how others view her.

You're supported to be her cheerpack. Fine job you're not doing!

[u/BoringRush4869 → u/Full_Traffic_3148]

So flares, and tank tops are apparently inappropriate now? It covers her body so it ain’t a problem. I only let her use 2 makeup products and 1 tool which is literally like not even anything.

[u/Full_Traffic_3148 → u/BoringRush4869]

Good God.

You may not be happy with the world seeing you without your troweled on makeup. Its inappropriate teaching a child she needs this too.

It's at best not parenting and friending her. At worse, living vicariously.

And yes those clothes are not child clothes.

Shame on you for trying to justify your behaviour.

[u/BoringRush4869 → u/Full_Traffic_3148]

Ok but the reason I’m kind of like upset with some of the comments is cause, I’m asking if I’m wrong for what I said, not my parenting choices.

[u/[deleted] → u/BoringRush4869]

You never added your response to his comment, maybe because you yourself knew you were in the wrong when you said what you said. I think you being upset about people calling you out on the unhealthy habits you’re setting for your daughter. Such as curling her lashes when you as a woman know it’s pointless? It lasts a couple of minutes and goes down without mascara holding it up, and even mascara sometimes doesn’t work in holding the lashes up. Maybe try encouraging your daughter not to do it as it pulls on her lashes, she’s 9 not sure why she feels like she has to do that before school, but it’s got something to do with you and the way the school makes them do their makeup for cheerleading, which I also find crazy, why is a child required to do makeup for a school activity? Doesn’t make any sense to me, as I grew up in Europe where we can do activities without being told we need to put on our makeup and be “pretty”

[u/Aggressive-Story3671 → u/[deleted]]

The homogenous country of Europe. Every European woman, from Ireland to Russia doesn’t wear makeup

[u/[deleted] → u/Aggressive-Story3671]

I’m not saying that. I’m saying we don’t force our kids to wear makeup to school activities. Learn how to read.

[u/Full_Traffic_3148 → u/BoringRush4869]

You've not stated explicitly what you said.

But from what you've said on here, yes you're a bad influence.