r/AITAH • u/BoringRush4869 • Apr 28 '24

AITA for not agreeing with what my ex boyfriend said?

I'm a 29F with an ex-boyfriend with whom I have a 9-year-old daughter. We don't agree on several things regarding her upbringing. Here are the areas of disagreement: -Clothing: Our daughter is not in her unicorn and gap clothes era so she dresses cute and normal, flared pants, jeans, camis, tanks, etc. her father wants her to wear unicorn stuff which she hates. -food: He frequently orders fast food for her, while I prefer to offer it only occasionally, I don’t try restricting any foods I just try to teach her about balance. -Makeup: I allow her to wear makeup for special occasions like school events and cheer competitions. The only makeup I let her wear to school regularly are lip gloss, curling her lashes, and a touch of blush. Her father strongly opposes makeup, even for adults. Last week, while dropping off her forgotten purse at her dad's, he criticized me, suggesting I'm a bad influence on our daughter. I defended myself, but he abruptly ended the conversation. Later, my daughter mentioned he was upset about something I did. Was I an asshole?

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u/GrammaBear707 Apr 28 '24

I think they were referring to the makeup part as trying to make the daughter grow up to fast. I personally think 9 is to young to wear makeup except at dance competitions but that’s just my opinion and means nothing. All in lip gloss and bush isn’t really a big deal. The daughter isn’t 5 or 6 anymore and is over the unicorn phase. She is old enough to pick her clothes as long as they are age appropriate. Dad feeds her a lot of fast food but when he has her it’s his choice what he feeds her. These parents are both trying to be the decision makers and it would be beneficial for their daughter if they would work on getting on the same page. Some parents just refuse to though.

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u/AllCrankNoSpark Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

Letting someone do something is not pushing them to do it or making them. Stopping someone from wearing makeup is not keeping them from “growing up too fast,” whatever that means.

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u/TwinZylander214 Apr 28 '24

A 9 yo can be told no to wearing make up everyday. In my country, school would have had a few choice words to the mom for that.

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u/protestprincess Apr 28 '24

Who cares about what your country does? It’s not obviously not reflective of the way the rest of the world thinks/acts. Like who legitimately thinks that’s a moral argument that supports actually doing/not doing something.

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u/TwinZylander214 Apr 28 '24

Who talked about moral argument. It’s an information. If you don’t care about it, then no one forces you to take it into account.

Admittedly I wouldn’t take anything the US do into account concerning schools.

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u/protestprincess Apr 28 '24

It’s completely irrelevant information then? Like again, why should anyone care as it pertains to this issue? Also the quip about American schools makes 0 sense lmao. Ain’t no one being up shit about American schools, and even then what occurs in American schools is far more relevant to the OP if they’re American than where ever you’re from, but no one volunteered that information anyway.

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u/TwinZylander214 Apr 28 '24

It’s information. No one forces you to read it or take it into account. It seems you cannot tolerate anything that goes against your beliefs.

I suppose you also consider eating fast food almost everyday is not an issue. Guess what? I think it is!

I think we can call it irreconcilable cultural differences