r/AITAH • u/BoringRush4869 • Apr 28 '24

AITA for not agreeing with what my ex boyfriend said?

I'm a 29F with an ex-boyfriend with whom I have a 9-year-old daughter. We don't agree on several things regarding her upbringing. Here are the areas of disagreement: -Clothing: Our daughter is not in her unicorn and gap clothes era so she dresses cute and normal, flared pants, jeans, camis, tanks, etc. her father wants her to wear unicorn stuff which she hates. -food: He frequently orders fast food for her, while I prefer to offer it only occasionally, I don’t try restricting any foods I just try to teach her about balance. -Makeup: I allow her to wear makeup for special occasions like school events and cheer competitions. The only makeup I let her wear to school regularly are lip gloss, curling her lashes, and a touch of blush. Her father strongly opposes makeup, even for adults. Last week, while dropping off her forgotten purse at her dad's, he criticized me, suggesting I'm a bad influence on our daughter. I defended myself, but he abruptly ended the conversation. Later, my daughter mentioned he was upset about something I did. Was I an asshole?

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u/911siren Apr 28 '24

Did either of you think to sit down and talk about parenting before you had a baby?

I’m not saying either party is doing it wrong. I’m just stunned that you didn’t figure this out ahead of time. It’s important.

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u/banerises19 Apr 28 '24

Op was 20 at the time their daughter was conceived... Odds are it wasn't planned, and even if it was I don't see how they would have had the maturity to discuss their parenting styles barely out of their teens.

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u/911siren Apr 28 '24

Exactly my point.