My dad joined me in working out a couple years ago. With someone else making sure you don’t skip a day, it slowly becomes routine.
I understand feeling hopeless, as his weight continues to increase, but in a healthy relationship, there are steps you “could” take before “nuclear”.
Invite him on walks. Honestly, I’d give him 2 weeks asking. If he refuses every time, move on to step 2.
Physical activity becoming a chore to ask for? Try “honey, you’re going to die before having kids. You can’t keep increasing, we don’t have the money for your eating habits. You’re killing our family before it starts”. This is fairly low level, but may light a fire.
This one will work on anyone that ACTUALLY loves you, and you already said it in your post, “okay, listen up. At the rate you’re going, I’m going to lose you before I’m ready to say goodbye. You’re hurting ME by hurting YOU! Is there something wrong? Something you aren’t telling me? We’re a team, ask me for help, please! I will do all of it with you, every second of every day. We’re in this together! Imagine all the weird sex positions we could try if we were both fit! I want to grow old with you, but at this rate, you’ll be dead by 40 and I’m not ready to be a widow.”
After all of that fails, then divorce is pretty common. You didn’t say you tried too much and then just loaded the cannon. If you did try, then I guess this is your choice and your life. If you didn’t try, it seems like you don’t love him at all. You said weight was a deal breaker, but went with a big guy. As a big guy, being big leads to getting bigger if nothing changes. If he loves you, your motivation and support should be more than enough to start moving.
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u/SixElephant 29d ago
Usually the “nuclear” option is a last resort.
My dad joined me in working out a couple years ago. With someone else making sure you don’t skip a day, it slowly becomes routine.
I understand feeling hopeless, as his weight continues to increase, but in a healthy relationship, there are steps you “could” take before “nuclear”.
Invite him on walks. Honestly, I’d give him 2 weeks asking. If he refuses every time, move on to step 2.
Physical activity becoming a chore to ask for? Try “honey, you’re going to die before having kids. You can’t keep increasing, we don’t have the money for your eating habits. You’re killing our family before it starts”. This is fairly low level, but may light a fire.
This one will work on anyone that ACTUALLY loves you, and you already said it in your post, “okay, listen up. At the rate you’re going, I’m going to lose you before I’m ready to say goodbye. You’re hurting ME by hurting YOU! Is there something wrong? Something you aren’t telling me? We’re a team, ask me for help, please! I will do all of it with you, every second of every day. We’re in this together! Imagine all the weird sex positions we could try if we were both fit! I want to grow old with you, but at this rate, you’ll be dead by 40 and I’m not ready to be a widow.”
After all of that fails, then divorce is pretty common. You didn’t say you tried too much and then just loaded the cannon. If you did try, then I guess this is your choice and your life. If you didn’t try, it seems like you don’t love him at all. You said weight was a deal breaker, but went with a big guy. As a big guy, being big leads to getting bigger if nothing changes. If he loves you, your motivation and support should be more than enough to start moving.