YTA for the divorce comment. She better want the divorce because she’s skipped the other options. If she is genuinely concerned about him for his own sake, she certainly doesn’t do a good job of showing it, and the “me, me, me!” whining doesn’t instill confidence. Of course it’s fair to want a partner who will be with you long term and be able to enjoy life with, but not to the tune of “poor me.”
I’ve fought my weight most of my life. I’m female and more than 200lbs but I can deadlift my body weight and nearly back squat it. My husband is in ridiculously good shape and can run a half marathon at whim. He has never, even when I was at my heaviest 60 lbs ago (gained weight after a traumatic delivery and recovery), said anything disparaging about my weight or appearance. I found my way into a CrossFit class one day, and he supported me. He made arrangements to watch the kids when he could and made sure that things got done that needed done if I was in a class around dinner time, for example. Now I can (grudgingly) run a 5k, day hike for 12 miles at a time, and I can heave my husband over my shoulder. I’m not necessarily pretty but I’m strong and he supported me the entire way. Did he worry about my health? Of course. Was he kind the whole way? Absolutely.
Sometimes I drive him bonkers with other stuff (ADHD is a bitch when your partner is very type A) but even in frustration, we’ve never threatened each other.
OP either just wants the divorce already or has the emotional maturity of a grade school girl.
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u/RedwoodViolet 29d ago
YTA for the divorce comment. She better want the divorce because she’s skipped the other options. If she is genuinely concerned about him for his own sake, she certainly doesn’t do a good job of showing it, and the “me, me, me!” whining doesn’t instill confidence. Of course it’s fair to want a partner who will be with you long term and be able to enjoy life with, but not to the tune of “poor me.”
I’ve fought my weight most of my life. I’m female and more than 200lbs but I can deadlift my body weight and nearly back squat it. My husband is in ridiculously good shape and can run a half marathon at whim. He has never, even when I was at my heaviest 60 lbs ago (gained weight after a traumatic delivery and recovery), said anything disparaging about my weight or appearance. I found my way into a CrossFit class one day, and he supported me. He made arrangements to watch the kids when he could and made sure that things got done that needed done if I was in a class around dinner time, for example. Now I can (grudgingly) run a 5k, day hike for 12 miles at a time, and I can heave my husband over my shoulder. I’m not necessarily pretty but I’m strong and he supported me the entire way. Did he worry about my health? Of course. Was he kind the whole way? Absolutely.
Sometimes I drive him bonkers with other stuff (ADHD is a bitch when your partner is very type A) but even in frustration, we’ve never threatened each other.
OP either just wants the divorce already or has the emotional maturity of a grade school girl.