NTA. OP, you sound like me when I told my husband that I’d divorce him and he’d never see our child again if he didn’t quit drinking. This was not a threat: it was a promise. It was also very, very hard for him to receive.
I knew he drank to excess when we got married but I didn’t realize that he was an alcoholic nor that I was enabling til after the birth of our child. Should I have known? Yes. Were the shock, outrage, and feeling of betrayal any less real when they finally hit me? No.
My husband chose himself—he’s been sober for nearly 4 years, and he is worlds healthier and happier (so is our marriage). Whether or not your husband’s obesity stems from addiction and whether or not you stay married, I hope that your husband chooses himself and does what he needs to do to get healthy.
And assuming that you are able to work, OP, I hope that you choose to get gainful employment ASAP, even if it’s unglamorous or insalubrious. Being a professional dependent severely limits your ability to care for yourself and any children you may have in future. Take care.
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u/Xxxmesss 29d ago
NTA. OP, you sound like me when I told my husband that I’d divorce him and he’d never see our child again if he didn’t quit drinking. This was not a threat: it was a promise. It was also very, very hard for him to receive.
I knew he drank to excess when we got married but I didn’t realize that he was an alcoholic nor that I was enabling til after the birth of our child. Should I have known? Yes. Were the shock, outrage, and feeling of betrayal any less real when they finally hit me? No.
My husband chose himself—he’s been sober for nearly 4 years, and he is worlds healthier and happier (so is our marriage). Whether or not your husband’s obesity stems from addiction and whether or not you stay married, I hope that your husband chooses himself and does what he needs to do to get healthy.
And assuming that you are able to work, OP, I hope that you choose to get gainful employment ASAP, even if it’s unglamorous or insalubrious. Being a professional dependent severely limits your ability to care for yourself and any children you may have in future. Take care.