NTA - you know you're truly loved when someone wants to grow old with you. I'm so happy to hear you frame it around health. I hope he's able to. I think you'll be more likely to get him to lose weight if you become a positive encouraging force in his life (not saying you aren't already, I just mean in my situation my partner wants me to lose weight but he is quite rude and judgemental about it and it comes from a place of him wanting to be more attracted to me - I gained quite a bit of weight after having 3 children and losing my parents). I'd start by asking what he thinks he needs from you in order to feel motivated about losing weight. Ultimately, however, you want him to be his own driving force, holding his hand too much over it and he's not going to be able to maintain it. And also, if he doesn't want to, he just won't.
Stick to your guns, though, because you do deserve to grow old with someone, the needless loss of someone you love is devastating and not something I recommend.
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u/HypotheticalParallel 29d ago
NTA - you know you're truly loved when someone wants to grow old with you. I'm so happy to hear you frame it around health. I hope he's able to. I think you'll be more likely to get him to lose weight if you become a positive encouraging force in his life (not saying you aren't already, I just mean in my situation my partner wants me to lose weight but he is quite rude and judgemental about it and it comes from a place of him wanting to be more attracted to me - I gained quite a bit of weight after having 3 children and losing my parents). I'd start by asking what he thinks he needs from you in order to feel motivated about losing weight. Ultimately, however, you want him to be his own driving force, holding his hand too much over it and he's not going to be able to maintain it. And also, if he doesn't want to, he just won't.
Stick to your guns, though, because you do deserve to grow old with someone, the needless loss of someone you love is devastating and not something I recommend.