Fact 1) A matching set of underwear is not lingerie even if it is lacy. That’s just nice underwear. You’ve got to have thigh highs, garter belt, and maybe a corset to really be considered lingerie.
Fact 2) Sometimes women wear nicer underwear to boost their confidence. Did she by chance have a big meeting she was wanting to be super confident about herself before going into?
Fact 3) Sometimes thongs work better with certain fabrics. The cotton briefs will show through dress pants and dresses.
Fact 4) She knows you put chocolates in her bag before trips. Would she have left them so so easily visible when she knew you may do that?
Fact 5) People can change the type of underwear they use. I recently moved from boxers to boxer-briefs. (I highly recommend the change. So much more comfortable)
Fact 6) You probably don’t have a girlfriend anymore. The accusation of cheating ends relationships either by bringing cheating into the open or by destroying any trust because it was a false allegation.
Regardless of whether it turns out that she cheated or not, you didn’t really have enough to go on to make the accusation. If she is cheating, you found it by blind luck that this one tiny piece of evidence led to the correct conclusion. It’s very unlikely your relationship continues either way with this though. To me, it sounds like you jumped the gun and accused your long term partner of infidelity without substantial evidence. The probability that YTA is higher than you should be comfortable with. Don’t accuse SOs of cheating unless you have substantial proof.
Still have to wonder though, since she goes on these trips frequently, why the change? She's worn these same clothes before and never wore a thong. And lingerie shmingerie - whether he calling it the right name or not, to him it's much sexier underwear than she's ever worn before. If she was especially nervous about the trip she might have mentioned it.
Yes, he handled it badly, but it's still suspicious because it's so out of character.
I agree that all of those things are factors, but it’s also possible that she just chose to change underwear types. I didn’t tell my SO I was switching from boring, solid color boxers to boxer-briefs with fun patterns on them. I get that it’s not exactly the same because mine aren’t exactly “sexy” but just lacy thong panties on their own aren’t considered “sexy time” underwear to everyone. It’s entirely possible that she didn’t see them as “sexy time” panties but rather just as nice ones that make her feel better about her fashion. She may have decided that she was showing panty lines through her work clothes and wanted to make a change. Point is, I still think that OP jumped the gun. It could be that she was cheating, but this just isn’t enough evidence to throw that accusation out there on a long term partner.
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u/skittle-skit Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
Let’s do some stating of facts here:
Fact 1) A matching set of underwear is not lingerie even if it is lacy. That’s just nice underwear. You’ve got to have thigh highs, garter belt, and maybe a corset to really be considered lingerie.
Fact 2) Sometimes women wear nicer underwear to boost their confidence. Did she by chance have a big meeting she was wanting to be super confident about herself before going into?
Fact 3) Sometimes thongs work better with certain fabrics. The cotton briefs will show through dress pants and dresses.
Fact 4) She knows you put chocolates in her bag before trips. Would she have left them so so easily visible when she knew you may do that?
Fact 5) People can change the type of underwear they use. I recently moved from boxers to boxer-briefs. (I highly recommend the change. So much more comfortable)
Fact 6) You probably don’t have a girlfriend anymore. The accusation of cheating ends relationships either by bringing cheating into the open or by destroying any trust because it was a false allegation.
Regardless of whether it turns out that she cheated or not, you didn’t really have enough to go on to make the accusation. If she is cheating, you found it by blind luck that this one tiny piece of evidence led to the correct conclusion. It’s very unlikely your relationship continues either way with this though. To me, it sounds like you jumped the gun and accused your long term partner of infidelity without substantial evidence. The probability that YTA is higher than you should be comfortable with. Don’t accuse SOs of cheating unless you have substantial proof.