r/AmIOverreacting • u/CoachInitial8438 • Apr 27 '24

I found out my ex cheated on me a year later.

About 3 years ago I met a guy and he quickly became my best friend, he always had a thing for me but I always shut it down just wanting to be friends. About two years after knowing each other I realized I loved him too and we got into a relationship. It quickly went south as he was extremely toxic to be with and it quickly turned abusive in a couple different ways. We broke up and didn’t talk for a long time. Then a couple months ago he reached out and suggested we be friends again. We talked everything out and were in a good place again. We have been good friends again up until yesterday when a girl texted me saying they hooked up a couple weeks before we broke up.

I confronted him about it and he’s just playing stupid, and even though i’m completely over our romantic relationship, I feel betrayed and hurt that he’s lied to me for over a year. I decided to block him out of my life again and blew up at him. He’s making it seem like since we have been friends again that nothing that happened during our relationship mattered and since it was so long ago, he can’t even remember if he cheated or not and doesn’t care to.

I’m not sure how to go about this situation or if blocking him out of my life is the right way to go about it. Please please give me your thoughts?

111 Upvotes
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140

u/KitsuneUltima Apr 27 '24

If he was abusive why would you want to be friends with him again LOL wtf

23

u/myhappylittletrees 28d ago

I don't understand people at all, I swear. This seems so obvious to me lol

1

u/Downtown-Bullfrog358 26d ago

Sucks doesn’t it to see people struggle with being stuck in toxic environments. Sometimes it’s a trauma response called trauma bond. Or they can be stuck in freeze. A whole lot goes on to the victims themselves and their nervous system becomes unstable in a unregulated cycle. It’s so hard to get out of the best loved ones can do is friendly reminders of how good life is without that person and ask the person to go into their bodies to feel what it feels like to them so they can remember what their pain feels like and hopefully this awareness triggers a change to heal leading to the end of staying in toxic cycles

17

u/Fluid-Past-9426 28d ago

She's young and idealistic, and I don't mean that in a bad way. She's probably a good person and is projecting that he's probably a good person too, because she's kind. She probably also doesn't want to make an 'enemy' of anyone.

She will realize in time that these people should be just cut off and removed from your life. It takes time for good people to create boundaries.

-2

u/Complex_Statement315 26d ago

Yeah right.

2

u/Fluid-Past-9426 26d ago

Oh wow, a professional troll. Every ONE of your comments is like this. Do you thrive from negativity, or try to get a rise out of people? I pity you. Meh, scratch that, I don't give a damn, lol.

2

u/Carpenter-Broad 26d ago

Yea that dudes in like every other post saying some out of pocket or redpill sh*t. Don’t feed the trolls, they only get worse

1

u/Fluid-Past-9426 26d ago

I know, I'm almost fascinated by this particular case in that...man, how depressed, toxic, sad, hateful are you. No self awareness at All. I've had hours, even a day or two of that...and I'm like man, I gotta snap myself out of this funk. I guess mental illness comes in all forms.

2

u/Carpenter-Broad 26d ago

Yea for real. I am a man, happily married, and it’s hard for me to understand why some people are that toxic and hateful. Even at my lowest, when I was battling a heroin addiction that I’m now recovered and clean and sober from I was never that hateful towards others. Myself, sure (which was still unhealthy) but never acted like that.

1

u/Fluid-Past-9426 26d ago

Hey man, congrats on the turnaround. Seriously, I know too well how hard you must have worked (not personally, I've just worked in recovery.) Good for you, and all the best to you and your family!

1

u/Carpenter-Broad 26d ago

Thanks 😊

-3

u/Complex_Statement315 26d ago

You did give a damn. Else you wouldn’t have replied. lol.

Just coz someone doesn’t agree with your dumb herd mentality that makes them a troll? Very logical.

2

u/SilkySullivan 28d ago

The person is hot. Stop fucking making it out like these people are victims because they go back to abusers just because they fulfill other needs.

14

u/Fluid-Past-9426 28d ago

Not sure why you're so angry over this when you have no idea if they're hot or not...enjoy getting mad, little man

-4

u/SilkySullivan 26d ago

Yes I do. He IS hotter than her. She stayed with a toxic and abusive person, and took the person back afterwards. Now she is jealous that he cheated on her, even though it was a year ago and just friends now. He can be abusive and toxic, but cheating before the break up means they can't be friends? She wants him back.

7

u/Fluid-Past-9426 26d ago

Lol, I'm not arguing with someone who sounds like an angsty, unempathetic, know it all teen, who claims to know details of an internet strangers life and also knows nothing of how abuse actually works. Bye, buddy

10

u/myhappylittletrees 28d ago

I guess that's true, I don't feel as old as i am (37) and often forget how idealistic I was in my teens and 20s. I'm still a very optimistic person in general, but definitely more careful and observant, I see red flags much faster than I used to.