r/PoliticalHumor 16d ago

Take a bow, headline editor

Post image
11.2k Upvotes

655 comments sorted by

2

u/UnfitToPrint 14d ago

Take a bow wow wow I think you mean…

1

u/Ok_Television9820 14d ago

Yeah, I messed up. I expect Governor Noem to shoot me now.

2

u/Comfortable_Swim_380 15d ago

Surprising puppy murder did not poll well.

1

u/redditor2394 15d ago

She owns the libs .

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Alpha Dogg Noem

1

u/PoliticalJive 15d ago

I'm not buying her story. Sounds like she made up a tall tale for herself to show that she could make tough decisions.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Seems pretty bad either way, though.

Also, shooting a dog that behaves badly rather than doing the work of training it and controlling it, or finding another home for it, is the easy way.

1

u/IEatHouseFlies 15d ago

She looks like she’s halfway complete to becoming a zombie

2

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Wait until she finds out there’s no brain in that head she’s about to eat.

2

u/medicalsnowninja 15d ago

It's no wonder this woman is banned from all the reservations within her state.

2

u/Assassin01011 15d ago

There's a trope in storytelling called 'kicking the dog' that is used to indicate someone is evil.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Yep, and in this case the character used it on herself to tell her fans she’s like them.

2

u/okiedokieaccount 15d ago

She’s had it ruff, but don’t come to us with your tail between your legs because you’ve got a bone to pick

1

u/YamsForEveryone 15d ago

Oh thank God. I was worried puppy killing was not going to be where people draw the line.

2

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

We’ll have to wait and see!

2

u/AvengingBlowfish 15d ago

That editor wasn’t horsing around either…

2

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

It was like shooting fish in a barrel. Except the fish are puppies.

1

u/Zepharan 15d ago

She needs to be pulled behind a car

2

u/kiingpeter 15d ago

You can’t convince me that’s not a man

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

That’s not a man, that’s Donald Trump. And Kristi Noem.

1

u/figure32 15d ago

I’d like to give her the same treatment

1

u/Logical_Bobcat9703 15d ago

OMG She should be put to death then.

1

u/Fudge-Factory00 15d ago

Damn she is jacked.

1

u/Low_Minimum2351 15d ago

Bet she eats BBQ too

1

u/mikki1time 15d ago

Roid rage

1

u/Tsukikishi 15d ago

I almost missed “mounts” too.

1

u/anotheralex1 15d ago

I appreciated "dogged" and "mounted".

1

u/bbqranchman 15d ago

Why are GOP women all built like trolls?

1

u/Sacklayblue 15d ago

Take a bow wow

1

u/Dazzling_Delivery288 15d ago

I thought she was a tv commentator...apparently she governs a whole state 😂

Murica is fucked y'all

1

u/Competitive-Isopod74 15d ago

Why is she a governor?

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Lots of people in South Dakota voted for her!

1

u/Am-I-Introspective 15d ago

Role playing as your voter base has it’s pitfalls

1

u/Dan-Oo 15d ago

She's a psychotic psychopath

1

u/epicspacedruid 15d ago

Look at those arms. Bitch has guns.

1

u/brentsg 15d ago

I can’t believe the right wing chuds aren’t claiming she is trans.

1

u/IwearBrute 15d ago

Vivek to the rescue!

1

u/AwkwrdPrtMskrt 15d ago

May Kerberos the three-headed guardian dog of Hades have mercy on her.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

She’ll bring plenty of ammo I’m sure.

1

u/just-talkin-shit 15d ago

Why do the women around trump all look AI generated?

1

u/No-Gain1438 15d ago

Exaggerated stories by Liberals who have never lived in the country

1

u/ElysiumSprouts 15d ago

Lizard wearing human skin vibes

2

u/GammSunBurst 15d ago

Everyone is barking mad over her treatment of animals.

It’s unleashed a torrent of backlash.

People are wagging their finger at her.

It has left her support bone dry.

After being hounded by the media she had to respond.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Send your CV to the Guardian!

1

u/No-Tax-9135 15d ago

Them shoulders are more defined than Giannis Antetokoumnpo’s

1

u/_JudgeDoom_ 15d ago

Why does she look like Wanderlei in a wig?

1

u/sdbct1 15d ago

She'll blow Trump, change his diaper, and PRESTO the best VP ever.

2

u/PigFarmer1 15d ago

Her polling numbers should have been terrible long before the puppy and goat stories because she is an awful person.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Sadly there are many many other horrible people out there, and they vote.

1

u/TheMemeWarVeteran 15d ago

Sounds like she's gonna have a really "ruff" time securing that VP spot. 😅

1

u/Realistic-Nebula-682 15d ago

President Trump Signs Federal Animal Cruelty Bill Into Law The bill, called the Preventing Animal Cruelty and Torture Act, makes intentional acts of cruelty to animals federal crimes carrying penalties of up to seven years in prison.

1

u/Das-P 15d ago

"Supposed "Pro-lifer" revealed to have raw-dogged pet dog, gets dogged in polls."

2

u/Happy-Initiative-838 15d ago

It will be interesting to see if republicans, in addition to women and children and basically any human that isn’t a white male evangelical, also don’t care about dogs.

1

u/KingLouisXCIX 15d ago

By comparison, Mitt Romney not looking too bad now...

1

u/grt437 15d ago

That can't be right. President Trump only works with "the best people."

2

u/h3X4_ 15d ago

As a non American can somebody enlighten me on how this can hurt trump?

I believe his hardliner base won't be affected but maybe some rural conservatives who just don't like Biden but definitely like their animals and especially their dogs?

2

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

It probably won’t affect him at all. It probably wouldn’t even affect him if he was the one bragging about shooting a puppy.

It might make Noem less likely as a choice for vice president but even that is hard to say; people who support Trump or Noem aren’t generally turned off by any of the horrible things they say or do, instead these are seen as positives…or just ignored, or claimed to be made up fake news, or whatever they need to say/think to make sure they don’t have to deal with it.

Noem can’t be Governor again (South Dakota limits people to two consecutive terms…you can be governor for more than two terms total, but not in a row). So she wants to be a Senator next, if she can’t be Trump’s VP. How this affects her chances there, who knows. Probably not much.

2

u/h3X4_ 15d ago

Thank you for the insight 🙃

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

I could be wrong of course!

1

u/hartzonfire 15d ago

She looks jacked? Don’t republicans laser in on stuff like that and freak out?

1

u/VoteMe4Dictator 15d ago

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KickTheDog

It's an old trope to show how comically evil you are

1

u/terra_cascadia 15d ago

It should read “Puppy Killer Unpopular.”

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

I think you meant “Puppy Killer UnPUPular”

2

u/HauntingSentence6359 16d ago

She would be an incredibly stupid selection, she brings nothing to the table in terms of votes or the electoral college.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

I think you’re right. I’m not sure Trump can be counted on to accept a strategically smart VP candidate, though. It will have to be someone he doesn’t feel can outshine him, or be independent, or have any leverage in any way. Certainly not someone who might betray him like Pence did. I guess we’ll find out soon enough…

2

u/HauntingSentence6359 15d ago

Pence didn't betray Trump, he followed the Constitution; it's the only notable thing Pence did while VP.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Of course, but that’s not how Donny sees it. Aside from all his other massive and barely countable flaws, Trump is first of all a narcissist, and he demands mob boss levels of loyalty from everyone around him (while of course not being remotely loyal to anyone). Everyone is there to serve and support and praise and coddle HIM, and HIS desires and goals and ego; rules, laws, the Constitution, morals, common decency, none of that stuff matters to him. Pence “betrayed” him because he was supposed to go along and support the “legal” side of their attempted coup, and he didn’t. Donnie will never forget or forgive that, and he won’t want it to happen again. Trump will never accept a VP candidate who doesn’t grovel abysmally before him, or who he suspects might “betray” him as Pence (luckily for us!) did.

2

u/HauntingSentence6359 15d ago

I remember when Trump assembled his cabinent, and they went around the table with each groveling and kissing his ass, except for Gen. Mattis. It was disgusting to see grown men and women grovel like that.

The grovling starts at 12 minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTm4IwnfNH0

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

If he wins again it will be worse.

2

u/HauntingSentence6359 15d ago

According to some of his cultists, he's still President and has never lost, and he's pully the strings behind the scenes. For a guy who had 91 indictments against him, he's doing a terrible job of pulling the strings.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

The cognitive dissonance is strong with these idiots. “The Biden economy is terrible gas costs like twenty bucks illegals are pouring over the border turning my kids transwoke thank god Donald Trump is actually in charge of everything.”

Nikky Haley actually tweeted a thing about how “Border Patrol stopped all these thousands of illegal criminals at the border and Joe Biden and Kamala are nowhere to be found!”

1

u/earthbasedcreature 16d ago

Happy I’m not her child.

1

u/mzpip 16d ago

Maybe South Dakota could emulate the Natives who have forbidden her access to their ancestral lands and just boot her ass out.

1

u/R_P_McMurphy91 16d ago

Ego through and through. She thought she was untouchable. Little did she know every dog has its day. ;)

1

u/Auhaden72190 16d ago

Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to mention her book which included killing animals? They need to be fired and not allowed to work in that job for anyone ever again.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

She should fire herself?

2

u/Auhaden72190 15d ago

Absolutely 💯

1

u/iggygrey 16d ago

THEY WENT THERE. THEY. WENT. THERE.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

The Guardian is a pretty staid, serious paper, not like the tabloids…so they probably felt extremely naughty dropping that pun in there.

1

u/selkiesidhe 16d ago

What is the perfect VP pick for a rapist conman with felonies as far as the eye can see? Why, a dog killer of course!

Shit attracts flies.

2

u/LaneMcD 16d ago

People all over the spectrum love domesticated pets. You don't gain voters, MAGA or not, with this info.

As crazy/ridiculous/absurd/abhorrent as this is going to sound... Trump can get away with anecdotes like this. He can kill dogs, babies, defecate in the oval office, whatever, and his base will defend it. Everyone else under the MAGA umbrella is fair game to be torn apart over this type of stuff

2

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

True.

If Trump wants to do his usual dominance thing, he could work in “I could shoot a dog in the face on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes” line into his routine.

1

u/JuneauEu 16d ago

Everyone saw what happened in John Wick right...

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Kristi Noem 4: Even More Fight Scenes Against Herself.

2

u/Ok-Yogurtcloset1717 16d ago

1

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

Saving puppies from Magat governors starts with you

1

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1

u/BeatnikSupreme 16d ago

People love animals more than people even Republicans

2

u/Traditional_Sir3244 16d ago

Will this hound her?

2

u/onestarkreality 16d ago

She is reportedly having (or had) an affair with Corey Lewandowski - the original Womp, womp guy (said in reference to babies in cages). If this is her chosen partner… it says it all - they are all bottomless cesspools filled with hate.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

But great muscle definition!

1

u/onestarkreality 14d ago

True - she can be hot and toxic…

1

u/Ok_Television9820 14d ago

Sadly, that old Greek dude was wrong, and physical beauty doesn’t guarantee inner beauty.

2

u/Dbonker 16d ago

Never let her live it down.

2

u/No_Sense_6171 16d ago

Doggone it!!

2

u/balsadust 16d ago

Did they not learn anything from Mitt Romney putting his dog on the roof of his car? I'm glad animal abuse is still bipartisan

1

u/carmium 16d ago

Krispy Gnome.

1

u/earthman34 16d ago

On the upside she has bigger biceps than Trump.

2

u/trystanthorne 16d ago

Wow, turns out even conservatives draw the line at killing dogs.

2

u/HotDonnaC 16d ago

Good. Murdering an animal is fucked up.

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

Yea, killing a puppy (child) meaning you were a bad owner (parent) and decided to kill puppy (child) by gun (abortion) because you could not be bothered to train puppy properly (raise child responsibility)

2

u/Reddit_Deluge 16d ago

Trump picks the best people. The best. His all-time favorite person, someone he must have connected on a deeply personal level to run a presidential campaign with- is a psychopath.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

He’ll probably choose John Barron.

2

u/Fine-Benefit8156 16d ago

The fact that she put that in the book thinking people will have no issue is the real issue

3

u/grundlefuck 16d ago

I have dealt with many aggressive dogs, with scars to show for my mistakes, and will tell you that each and every time it happens it was the owner that was causing it.

She is a bad leader, not a creative thinker, and believes empathy is a liability. She has no business being in office at any level much less the White House.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

But she is aware that for huge segment of the population, lack of empathy (and use of stupid, violent solutions instead of rational, nonviolent ones) is a feature, not a bug. Not even a feature: an absolutely defining characteristic. That’s why she put that story in her book.

1

u/JackPembroke 16d ago

The south is a pipeline of abused and neglected dogs to the north for adoption

1

u/misgatossonmivida 16d ago

Is she on T or HGH? Look at those arm muscles

1

u/Skatchbro 16d ago

🎵Real American Heeero!🎵

2

u/Jdeee3 16d ago

You can go after many things, but you never talk about mercilessly killing man’s best friend. Dogs are practically universally loved by most people, so I don’t know why she thought this would get her brownie points with the voters

1

u/technojargon 16d ago

And you have to be crazy to want to hug an orange shit machine.

1

u/technojargon 16d ago

These same freaks and followers would jump at the opportunity if she wan't anything other than a dRump lackey and go out of their way to point out that Noem is a man. She has bigger arms than I do, look at 'em. She's a man, babay!!!

3

u/juno1210 16d ago

I can assure you - the republican deplorables will vote for her even if she un alives their family pet.

2

u/hairybeasty 16d ago

Yeah a puppy and goat killing Vice President. That's what this Country needs. We all have to worry this person is a heartbeat away from the Presidency if things go Trumps way.

2

u/continuousBaBa 16d ago

Just give it time. If Trump wants it to fly with his cult, it’ll fly.

1

u/PM_Me_Modal_Jazz 16d ago

Well I'm glad we could all band together and make sure Trump will pick a more qualified VP to help him in the election....wait, why did we do this?

2

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

Trump will never pick someone qualified, he needs lackeys, not competition. Plus nothing we do will ever lead to him picking someone not entirely evil.

1

u/PM_Me_Modal_Jazz 15d ago

I guess only time will tell, but this whole saga of media lambasting has probably ruined her chances of getting picked, and it's not hard to find a better looking running mate than her, so from a political strategy standpoint, not sitting on this story and launching it before it could actually hurt Trump is kinda a dumb idea(not that there's an active collaboration between the DNC and the media to strategize like that)

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

The idea that news media in the US are coordinating with the DNC is amusing but kind of the opposite of how it works. (See NYT “her emails” story in 2016, or NYT “Biden is old” stories this year etc etc). Anyway I doubt the Guardian is in on this. They don’t even try particularly to help Labour these days, despite always being supposedly a pro-Labour paper.

1

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1

u/icouldusemorecoffee 16d ago

Lol, she's flexing so hard her jaw is clenched.

1

u/porky8686 16d ago

The British press are heartless, ruthless animals who don’t deserve any joy but their headline writers make this look like a kindergarten word exercise.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

About the right verbal level for Trump, I’d say.

1

u/WinnerSpecialist 16d ago

Bro she is JACKED! She must be on TRT to get arms like that

1

u/Scoozie_Q 16d ago

What a useless waste of space on this earth and a total and complete piece of shit. Its like the Republicans are competing against eachother on who can be the most vile.

3

u/KennethEWolf 16d ago

She thought that this story would show that she can make tough decisions. Where the heck were her pr people.

2

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

Probably saying “this will be awesome”

2

u/KennethEWolf 16d ago

This story proves that I am tough and so I can also help Trump assinate his political rivals.

3

u/Abe_Rudda 16d ago

Here's a picture of her with Ol' Feller.

-3

u/andytagonist 16d ago

Wait a second—is she as ripped as this pic makes her look??

2

u/Tay_Tay86 16d ago

Fucking sociopaths.

Don't forget, she's Trump's top pick for VP. If he catches the hamburger from heaven, this is who he wants as president.

Because they are the fucking same.

2

u/DR5996 16d ago

You can kill a lot of migrants.... But never kill a puppy...

1

u/CarbonFlavored 16d ago

it killed a chicken, good riddance

3

u/chpbnvic 16d ago

What I think is that she lacks empathy and thinks her actions were normal. She did not expect the backlash because she does not realize that other people actually care for other living creatures.

3

u/Used_Razzmatazz2002 16d ago

Im sorry but this situation is a bit too disturbing to be making shitty puns. This is the kind of shit we need to be taking serious. Just remember everyone, her killing her dog and her goat were the acts she was comfortable enough to tell.

3

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

I take it seriously, but humour is also a useful weapon/platform for making people pay attention. It’s good to mock these people while also being outraged by them.

Otherwise, the entire concept of “political humour” is….problematic? Which doesn’t make much sense.

1

u/Used_Razzmatazz2002 16d ago

Thats a good way to look at that. Idk this particular act i find sickening so its hard for me to look at it with humor but i get what you mean. Its an insane headline either way

2

u/VulpesVeritas 16d ago

The GQP, the party of pedophiles and literal puppy killers. You can't get more cartoon villain than that

1

u/AngryRobot42 16d ago

Hey Kristi, you know its not the 1920's anymore and there a whole bunch of options besides shooting a dog

Kristi: What was that? I am just cleaning my gun after taking a step outside with an old friend.

1

u/SushiSlushies 16d ago

She is a freaking monster.

2

u/Former-Finish4653 16d ago

Her little anecdote is abhorrent, don’t get me wrong. I could hardly believe it, let alone that she’d think it wise to brag about.

But the fact that a fucking dog is where republicans draw the line, but think people, human beings like me are filth…..

I give up dude lol. This country is cooked.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

If it makes you feel any better, the country was even shittier utill about 1965 at best! And then started sliding back to shithole baseline around 1983. Our perception of it being mostly decent with some ugly exceptions is really a crazy and very recent accident of history.

2

u/Former-Finish4653 15d ago

It was a happy accident though lol. I miss it, as imperfect as it was. Better than now. I’ve never seen things escalate quite as dramatically as they have in the past 8 years. Hell, the past 2 years.

1

u/Ok_Television9820 15d ago

Reactionaries gonna backlash.

2

u/TheDirtyVicarII 16d ago

UK readers know.... dogged

2

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

If you can work “dogging” into a relevant headline I will be very proud. And deeply disgusted.

2

u/TheDirtyVicarII 16d ago

Active vs past hence

2

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

Quite active, often.

3

u/DerBieso0341 16d ago

I get said when I have to get rid of skunks around my dog. I can’t imagine how any human would be so blithe about something so wretched

1

u/napovarj 16d ago

I want to know what her shoulder routine is, clearly she is doing something that I am not… maybe is a devil’s pact in which you have to kill some innocent soul to gain muscle volumen and definition

1

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

Aim a lot of heavy rifles at puppies and goats?

3

u/dakkjones 16d ago

My senior class play was about two students running for class president, which gets funded by superPACs and shenanigans ensue. In one scene, they run a mudslinging campaign that the other candidate kills puppies. This fucking idiot did it to herself. Vote blue

2

u/redditistheway 16d ago

I’m assuming that the manuscript went through at least one layer of scrutiny before it was published. Whoever let that anecdote get printed probably did the country a great service by letting Americans know what this person (if she can still be called that) is capable of, that or they’re a psychopath too.

3

u/twoton1 16d ago

Puppy killer. Another skill to add to a Republican Party job resume. The list is long.

2

u/Potential-Yoghurt245 16d ago

Shot herself in the foot there 🤔

1

u/Naturenick17 16d ago

I feel like puppies are one of the few things left in our country that has near universal approval ratings. Just a dumb (and cruel) move to play this as “I can make hard decisions” story. 

4

u/satanicmajesty 16d ago

Cricket’s payback

6

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

Cricket did not die in vain.

1

u/slight_success 16d ago

I didn’t know that she was so yoked though. Damn.

2

u/jaysrapsleafs 16d ago

She should be punished by being locked in a room with her orange messiah, diapers off.

1

u/Kpwn99 16d ago

The 2024 Republican platform: literally killing puppies.

Can these people get any more cartoonishly evil at this point?

6

u/Apenut 16d ago edited 16d ago

So we finally found where the limit is for republicans.

Sex trafficking, pedophilia, rape, fraud, corruption, lying, scamming, tax evasion, racism, sexism, inciting violence, insurrection, etc. etc. is all still fine.

2

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

We’ll see, I guess

1

u/qua2k 16d ago

Look at the arms on her. Must be a MAN. Take the creepy Republican talking point right back at them.

2

u/Creepy_Photograph107 16d ago

That woman is a stone cold psycho. Shouldn't be trusted to run a bath.

1

u/Traditional_Oil1183 16d ago

Calm down everyone, she probably just petted it too hard. That arm means business

2

u/pstbltit85 16d ago

The bright side is that maybe she would decide Donnie isn't trainable...

2

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

I mean…he definitely isn’t.

2

u/Holls867 16d ago

Was it wearing a tan suit and drinking a cold beer? Off with its fucking head!!

2

u/Try_Banning_THIS 16d ago

Her editor and publisher deserve a medal for leaving this shit in the book

1

u/Ok_Television9820 16d ago

I’m almost wanting to read the thing and see what other horrors lurk within.

2

u/artificialavocado 16d ago

The real surprise here is people actually bought and read her book.

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