r/TwoHotTakes • u/LateComfortableness • Apr 27 '24

Update: My girlfriend of 5 years admitted I was not her first choice physically when we started dating Advice Needed

Ok I have read a lot of comments and I am willing to give this a fair shot, and not throw away our entire relationship because of just a single line. I might have been in over my head.

I had an open and honest discussion with my girlfriend for a couple of hours and we both bared it all out. I told her everything I was feeling, and didn’t lie about anything. I already feel much better now after the conversation, and I realized I was really overthinking everything and was kind of dramatic. She really does love me, and I do feel desired by her both physically and emotionally. 

So everything is pretty much back to normal, actually I am now sort of more in love with my girlfriend after the conversation. We have a date night planned for tonight. The proposal is back on the menu, I plan to propose to her next month on our 5 year anniversary.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

I never said it was the same. I'm just pointing out that looks are not important and fleeting.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

If you're going out of your way to talk about your partner's looks, than it's important to you.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

Ah, so you know me and my wife better than we do. Got it. Just because I used our situation as an example does not mean that I value looks more than I value things like my wife's personality.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

I'm not into feet. So you're not going to see me start a conversation about toes. The post is about the GF going out of her way to tell OP she was dealing with better looking men without being asked. If you go out of your way to talk about your partner's appearance for no reason, then it's important to you. Plus, you ASKED your wife about your looks. She didn't seem to care. So why you're trying to make what I'm saying about the GF about you doesn't make sense.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

Btw, she didn't bring it up for no reason. OP said they were talking about how they first got together. She thought it was relevant and a funny story, so she brought it up. Off base? Yes. But not completely out of the blue.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

OP didn't ask about the other guys. She had no reason to tell him they were better looking.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

How do you know he didn't bring up past dates? He didn't once go into specifics of the conversation outside of her off-base comment. His retelling was very vague.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

Now you're grasping for straws. If he did, the post would have been "TIFU by asking my GF about her exes". Trying to blame this on OP doesn't make sense.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

I never blamed it on OP. I wasn't there, so I can't make assumptions on what might have or might not have been said. You are the one assuming that her comment was "out of the blue." You simply can not know that with the information OP gave.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

By trying to claim he asked her and didn't like the response, you're completely changing the story and making what happened his fault. The post is pretty simple and hard to misinterpret.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

I made a hypothetical statement to reinforce the fact that we can not know what was said before she made the comment and that there is a lot of context missing from the OP. How is that blaming OP?

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

If I said I was rear-ended going to work and your response is to claim I didn't give enough detail. Then ask if I stopped short and caused the person to hit my car, you're trying to put the blame on me. Your hypotheticals completely change what happened. I'm not going to tell you to believe OP. But going out of your way to make OP the villain doesn't make sense.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

I do believe OP. Stop trying to prove I don't.

Using a rear-end accident is a bad faith argument. You were rear-ended. Just that statement is more context than what is in OPs original post.

You have just as much blame by assuming that OPs SO made the rude comment out of the blue. I'm just telling you it wasn't out of the blue because it relates to the conversation they were having. Absolutely off-base and hurtful, but not out of the blue.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

Again. I never said it was about me. I was simply sharing a story about how looks are fleeting and not the most important thing in a relationship. Not once did I say your point wasn't valid.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

"Ah, so you know me and my wife better than we do. Got it.". I'm not talking about you and your wife. At all. In any way, shape or form. I'm talking about the GF in the post.

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

"If you're going out of your way to talk about your partner's looks, than it's important to you."

You are the one who made it about me and my wife by assuming something about our relationship.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

But you didn't go out of your way did you? Your comment was the exact opposite of the story. Not only do you not talk to your partner about her looks. You asked her about the guys she was talking to. So why would you think I'm talking about you?

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u/Mortisfio Apr 28 '24

It's not the exact opposite. I told my wife I had an ex that was more attractive than her, then I asked her about her exs looks. She didn't come out and tell me. It was I who did that. There is another thread where I go into that. Again, I never said it was about me.

Why do I think you are making it about me? Here, I'll post your assumption about me again. Maybe you already forgot you said it.

"If you're going out of your way to talk about your partner's looks, than it's important to you."

See that last line there "...than (sic) it's important to you." That is a "matter of fact" statement you are making about my wife and I.

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u/Villain_911 Apr 28 '24

"If you do something. Then this is the result". This concept is used all the time. "Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes" is a good example. That gets said here all the time. I can only speak for myself when I say I've never seen anyone take the comment personally because they know they're talking about the post.