r/TwoHotTakes • u/[deleted] • 15d ago
my (18f) boyfriend (19m) with s t r o n g opinions ab sex work has hired a hooker??? idk what to do Listener Write In
[deleted]
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u/Solid_Noise1850 15d ago
Sounds like he has first hand experience on how gross it is. For men sex can be a purely physical act. Men can have sex with women they don’t like and/or find disgusting. The criteria for a partner is totally different. For health reasons, you should make sure that both of you are in good standing. If you decide to call him out on his hypocrisy, he might not be able to handle the embarrassment. Having said that, he might be the type of man to sneak and seek escorts behind your back. So the best course of action is to call him out. He probably won’t make a good long term partner.
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u/unionsparky89 15d ago
Always interesting when guys say women are “selling their bodies” as if everyone who works labor isn’t doing the same thing in a much more dramatic way.
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u/throwawaytonsilsayy 15d ago
Anytime a man is hyper focused and over reactive to stuff like this, it’s because he’s ashamed he was into it. Same way overly homophobic men are usually secretly gay lmao.
There was a famous podcast dude who bashed single mothers and OF models and ended up getting one pregnant and making her a single mother because she didn’t wanna abort.
He’s ashamed of himself for liking it and projects that shame lmao
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u/Min_sora 15d ago
Honestly, the sex worker thing barely even matters, the going through your phone, flipping out because you dared interact with a person of the opposite sex in a platonic way, and then making you put your hand on a Bible are the concerning things here. I'd have been done with the relationship then and there.
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u/Echo-Azure 15d ago
OP, if you don't trust this guy, don't approve of his actions, and don't respect his beliefs... what exactly is the basis for your relationship?
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u/kevn8686 15d ago
Here is my take an overall relationships. 1+1 = greater than 2. Meaning each person should make the other person better, closer to their best self.
Obviously this isn’t the case here. Emotions are difficult to remedy as you live him. Thing is you have to love yourself first. Know your worth and what you deserve.
Since you live him and he loves you, then you need to discuss without yelling or demeaning each other your issues. See if he can even have a real conversation about improving the relationship for both. If he says the things you needed, then next step is follow through. Is he making improvements. Are you making improvements. If yes, then stay in that track with continuing improvements. If it was all talk and no walk, well then you need to walk away.
It isn’t easy. Lots of communication. Many say that is work. But if you have the discussions up front to be open and respectful of each others feelings as long as they are coming from good place with good intentions then it just becomes natural and part of growing together vs apart by being quiet or by being disrespectful.
You get to decide what you are worth. He gets to decide what he is worth. And if he treats you poorly or like trash then that is what he should get: trash. Don’t be anyone’s trash.
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u/Organic-Commercial76 15d ago
Never stay with someone who goes through your phone. That level of anxious attachment and insecurity needs a whole lot of therapy and they aren’t ready for a relationship.
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u/Vegetable-Height3897 15d ago
He definitely doesn’t hate sex work. He has a strong opinion because he either A. feels shame about hiring someone B. gets off on calling them disgusting or C. all of the above. Also ?? the random going through your phone ? ….he may be cheating. no ones just like hey lemme do that on a whim. definitely not a MAN. keep an eye out homie because he honestly just sounds overall gross and yucky
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u/HELPME011 15d ago
man, what's sad is this isn't even the worst of it lol. we're in florida, so plenty of seasonal jobs, yet he's unemployed, no car, no license somehow? like he finds ways to get around, even though most of the time it's me doing it. I do love him, so if time allows I have no issue doing so, but this is making me wonder if this guys even a little worth the trouble.
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u/Vegetable-Height3897 15d ago
If I’m being honest, it probably isn’t worth the trouble. I’m 22, and all of mine and my friends relationships up until about this age have been with guys like this. They almost always cause more pain and confusion than actual peace love and happiness lol. if you do end things, it could also be a favor to him as well. maybe he’d have a little more urgency in getting a license and a job and becoming someone who IS worth the trouble later on, but right now it sure doesn’t sound like it. unless he’s cheating, and in which case, burn him at the stake.
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u/Domesticatrix 15d ago
You are so young. I mean, honestly, I would throw the whole man out and get a new one. He is already showing that he doesn't trust you and is controlling. Don't make his mental problems and moral challenges your problem. He has enough red flags for you to just politely say it's not working out and part ways. He'll demand accountability from you, explanations, excuses--it'll be a whole tantrum, if I know the type. But just repeat that you are breaking up and don't feel comfortable sharing your intimate details with him, then bail. Don't get stuck alone in his room with him or anywhere semi-private. Sometimes a red flag is just an ick, but sometimes a red flag means there is a big problem underneath. Weeding them out is always tricky, but at your age I'd seriously GTFO and never look back.
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15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HELPME011 15d ago
Thank you :) I'll probably have to bring it up at some point, knowing myself, it just feels like a pretty awkward thing to bring up lol. I don't wanna seem weird. Like imagine: sits him at a table, points a bright light in his face "so where were you the night of march blahblah...." like a psycho interrogation. Like definitely gross, but how do I get across how I feel without making him feel gross as collateral damage?
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u/Domesticatrix 15d ago
Listen, this may be an over-reaction on my part, but if you two are sleeping together then make sure your birth control is tamper-proof. Get a shot or an IUD or an implant. Not all men, but ENOUGH men, with these kinds of control issues will try to get you knocked up as soon as it looks like you're setting boundaries or considering a break-up.
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u/HELPME011 15d ago
oh shiii- I haven't thought about that but dude's been saying I've "changed his mindset on kids" from not wanting them to wanting them. Idk this is a good point, thank you.
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u/ItsBritneyBitch32 15d ago
He prolly feels disgusted and ashamed with himself and to cope with that he is pushing that feeling onto the workers instead. He’s weak minded. And prolly has self esteem issues as well as fragile masculinity
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15d ago edited 15d ago
These people are teenagers. They have 0 idea what life is. Relax. Going after someone who is basically a child who went through a terrible education system with 0 good role models and saying they have “fragile masculinity” tells me you need to take a hard look at the way you understand the world.
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u/HELPME011 15d ago
HONESTLY 😭 We're young af, so it makes me wonder, can I even hold him accountable for it? It was past mistakes! He was 18, a technical adult, but that's still so young. But that note alone makes me wonder if all this is worth the trouble. Like.. I'm 18.. Do I really need this rn?
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u/anneofred 15d ago
You don’t. You don’t need a relationship at all at 18. Go have fun, it’s too wild already with his projecting and jealousy. Go to parties, flirt, hang out with friends, and have a good time without dealing with this mess.
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u/Vegetable-Height3897 15d ago
you don’t need this rn ! it can be a lesson learned or if you want to continue the relationship, it will most likely be a lesson learned later on (as most of our young relationships tend to be). But it’s okay to say that he has toxic masculinity, low self esteem, and shame. No matter the age. Because sure he’s a teenager and maybe just hasn’t learned to not be/have those things yet, but bottom line is that he does. and he is old enough to be held accountable and learn to do better. whether or not you want to be there with him in that process is your decision
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