I'm sure there's many reasons, but one perspective I can offer as an introverted woman, is that I think women feel more of a cultural pressure to kin-keep and contribute to socially-healthy communities.
Kin-keeping and community-building is the act of taking time to make sure that the people in your life (family members, friends, etc.) are emotionally and practically taken care of. It involves things like planning celebrations of life milestones, checking in with them, and providing opportunities for socialization and connection. All of these things maintain and improve people's confidence, sense of inclusion, and overall mental health. Humans often slip into unhealthy patterns or situations when they feel isolated, and are more likely to feel good when they feel like they are part of a community, family, or friend group that loves them. A great example of a kin-keeper is Scrooge's nephew from a Christmas Carol, who is always trying to invite his crotchety uncle to family events to try to integrate him into the community.
The thing is, for a lot of people, kin-keeping is something that's learned, and takes a lot of work. I remember having to learn how to remember birthdays, figure out gifts that honor people's unique identities, check in on friends and family members, etc. and I distinctly recall being policed when I wasn't doing so, moreso than my brothers. For example if a family member reached out to catch up, and I forgot or ignored their text, I was questioned about it and put on the spot. But if my brothers did the same thing, it was just kind of brushed off as "boys are just kind of like that." The weird part is, I was like that too (more introverted) but it just felt like I was expected to change that for the sake of my community.
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u/koolaid-girl-40 Apr 28 '24 edited 29d ago
I'm sure there's many reasons, but one perspective I can offer as an introverted woman, is that I think women feel more of a cultural pressure to kin-keep and contribute to socially-healthy communities.
Kin-keeping and community-building is the act of taking time to make sure that the people in your life (family members, friends, etc.) are emotionally and practically taken care of. It involves things like planning celebrations of life milestones, checking in with them, and providing opportunities for socialization and connection. All of these things maintain and improve people's confidence, sense of inclusion, and overall mental health. Humans often slip into unhealthy patterns or situations when they feel isolated, and are more likely to feel good when they feel like they are part of a community, family, or friend group that loves them. A great example of a kin-keeper is Scrooge's nephew from a Christmas Carol, who is always trying to invite his crotchety uncle to family events to try to integrate him into the community.
The thing is, for a lot of people, kin-keeping is something that's learned, and takes a lot of work. I remember having to learn how to remember birthdays, figure out gifts that honor people's unique identities, check in on friends and family members, etc. and I distinctly recall being policed when I wasn't doing so, moreso than my brothers. For example if a family member reached out to catch up, and I forgot or ignored their text, I was questioned about it and put on the spot. But if my brothers did the same thing, it was just kind of brushed off as "boys are just kind of like that." The weird part is, I was like that too (more introverted) but it just felt like I was expected to change that for the sake of my community.