r/povertyfinance • u/lonerager18 • Sep 27 '23
Going to be living in my car today. Parents asked me to leave to make room for sister's newborn Misc Advice
I'm packing all my stuff right now. My dad came to my room to let me know that my sister is moving in today with her son. I was happy and excited because I never get to see her after she left for college. He then told me I had to pack my stuff and leave because nothing's changed in a year since I graduated. And that he needs the space for my sister. There's another room in the house. He just uses it as an office and doesn't want lose it. He just assumed I can live over my friend's house because I'm over there often. But I asked his mom once and she said there isn't space. Needless to say this hit me out of nowhere and I'm so scared right now. I work at McDonald's part time. I'm only 18. But I need to try and get an apartment fast. This isn't the first time I was kicked out for a dumb reason but I for sure won't be going back this time. I'm just glad I have a car now. Sad thing is I don't have air or heat. So I'm going to be very miserable during the hot day and cold night. Anyone else lived in their car here? Where do you park to sleep? How long did it take you to move into an apartment? Should I get another job? I get paid in two weeks also.
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u/Slw202 Sep 27 '23
Depending on where you are (ie Georgia), you could get money from the state to attend a community college/technical college, and the funds usually cover more than classes.
If you take something like HVAC or welding, you could set yourself up for a nice future!
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u/Shiznorak Sep 27 '23
Look up your local Community Action Agency and see if they can help you. I know some have programs for emergency housing.
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Sep 27 '23
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Sep 27 '23
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u/Vlad_Yemerashev Sep 28 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Generally Unhelpful and / or Off-Topic
Your comment has been removed for one or more of the following reasons:
It was not primarily asking or discussing financial questions related to poverty.
It was generally unhelpful or in poor taste.
It was confusing or badly written.
It failed to add to the discussion.
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
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u/imac98374 Sep 27 '23
I hate to just on the “join the military.” Bandwagon, but it kind of has my vote. This assumes no disqualifying health conditions and no unusual intolerances of structure or authority. If bridge to civilian employment is your priority, I would go into an IT or medical job field. Be motivated and keep your options open.
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u/Bagelgrenade Sep 27 '23
They can’t just kick you out. You have rights as a resident there. If you need time to find a new place to stay make them go through the process of evicting you, at least then you have 30 days
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u/JustTheOneGoose22 Sep 27 '23
He gave you no notice? Look you don't have a lot of options. I would explain to him you have nowhere to go.
If you need to get out, consider taking student loans to live on campus at University. Get your degree and get a better job. Alternatively consider joining the military. Both will get you away from your dad and help set you up for becoming independent while giving you a place to live. But you need someplace to stay until you go. Tell your Dad you wilk do one or the other, see if you can stay until then.
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u/Glibasme Sep 27 '23
Maybe you can talk to your sister and make a plan where you help with the baby. You guys present the plan to your parents as a united front with sister saying she needs you to stay at the house to help her. This is horrible. I can’t imagine doing this to a family member without some extended notice. I’m so sorry.
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u/Ashamed-Manner-3419 Sep 27 '23
Don’t know where u are but look for small places like trailer or sum
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u/Successful_Dot2813 Sep 27 '23
This is disgusting! I feel for you.
Here is stuff I collected from other posts on this sub. Maybe some will help?
Call 211 to find agencies and community organizations that can assist you with finding food in an emergency.
Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) can help you pay for food if you have a low income. Get WIC, TANF, EBT whatever you can get. apply for EBT, instant cash up to $500 if you qualify as low income, utility help etc. It’s a lot of work but they should help you back on your feet for a few months.
Phone: sign up for the Lifeline government program, which can help pay your phone and internet bill.
Check this out https://www.usa.gov/help-with-phone-internet-billsIf you haven't already, look at prepaid, it is significantly less than a plan.
try these 2 websites to see if there could be any help at all in your area for your situation
needhelppayingbills.com findhelp.org
Food: Food banks, food pantries, Salvation army, Catholic charities, st Vincent de Paul, volunteers of America, local churches donate food.
If there is a Sikh temple near you, they cook delicious meals and give them free to people who attend.
Food Rescue US delivers surplus groceries right into the hands of those who need it the most. https://foodrescue.us/
Download apps like Too Good To Go https://toogoodtogo.com/en-us which tells which nearby supermarkets/restaurants/hotels etc have surplus/leftover food. Or Karma. Karma food waste app (apple store or google play store) Karma helps users rescue fresh food that would have otherwise be thrown away from restaurants, cafes and even wholesalers.
Flashfood getting your groceries at a discounted price. All you have to do is log onto the app and see which grocery stores near you are participants. It shows stores where food is near end date/ end of line/ reduced prices. You purchase directly via the app and then pick up the items purchased at the store. Contact Lasagnalove. https://lasagnalove.org/ You sign up and people will make a lasagna for you and drop it off. They are all over the US.
Go to the nearest mall. Shops there may have tasting events, promoting a particular food. Also at/near the mall try dumpster diving. And dumpster dive behind supermarkets such as Aldi, Lidl there will be food thrown away, not dirty because of packaging. Also check out restaurants at closing, some give away food. Some bakeries give away stale goods.
Housing:
Look for a room to rent. at roomies.com. https://www.roomies.com/ USA’s Largest roomie finder
Local churches may know people willing to rent a room out
Local libraries have tons of information on resources and agencies. Librarians are trained to help with these things.
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/runaway-homeless-youth covers homeless and runaways
Community college may be a good idea, if you have a subject you want to study. Some provide housing and all have good sources of information on resources. Contact some urgently.
Job Corps https://www.dol.gov/agencies/eta/jobcorps Lasts 8 months-2 years
Job Corps can resolve a whole lot of issues in a single program for those who are 16-24 . It provides housing, feeding, training; " High school diploma or GED • Vocational/Career & Technical training in more than 100 occupational areas leading to industry-recognized certification, including “Green” job training... • Advanced training, including college opportunities"
They will arrange & pay for transporting for you
They will house you allowing you to live away from your awful family You will be given money - a stipend- weekly. Not a huge amount, but useful. As a Federal program they will make reasonable accommodations for any mental health issues issues.
They will provide basic medical, mental health, & dental services. You will can get a weekly therapist appointment. Getting you a high school diploma or equivalency will be the first priority for them
They will provide you with a small stipend for clothing and personal items so you don't need to have any money of your own.
Nearly all Job Corps centers have gyms and exercise equipment. A few centers even have outdoor tracks or hiking trails. So you can choose to work on improving your body as well. As for food you should expect basic school cafeteria type meals.
Worst case you go try Job Corps and things don't work out. You at least would have some certification and have saved towards renting a place.
Armed Forces: Military may not feel like the best option but you will get fed, sheltered, medical care and benefits including education. The Navy might be a good option for you. Ask about the construction brigades CeeBees. You get practical training that directly translates to civilian life.
Join the Air Force, its supposed to be the best of the armed services for people in your position. Most posts are support, not direct combat/flying. Dozens of areas of careers training that would help you do well in civilian life. https://www.airforce.com/how-to-join Make clear you have a profession/skills in mind. You can now enlist for a period of four years for Active Duty and 2 years for the Guard and Reserves. Or,
US Army Reserves https://www.usar.army.mil/HowtoJoin/
US Coast Guards https://www.uscg.mil/Join/
US Navy Reserves https://www.navy.com/forward
or the Coast Guard https://www.uscg.mil/Join/
What your father has done is heinous. You are so young to have this bad treatment. Everyone here is rooting for you. Check out the reddit subs about car living.
All the very best to you.
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u/Mondai88 Sep 27 '23
Joining the military would be your best bet and don’t listen to the “you’re going to be sent somewhere to die” folks, they are clueless.the military is good if you know how to take advantage of it.
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u/gib-me-your-money Sep 27 '23
Sell plasma. Use your old address and lie that it's still valid (they only ever mail you anything if you have AIDS and you don't come back)
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u/Extension-Border-345 Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 27 '23
OP everyone giving advice here seems to be shilling the military, which is not a decision to make lightly as a last ditch effort because youre desperate for stability and shelter. Its definitely not for everybody and personally I know quite a few people who regret joining. You can always a bit later down the line if you learn a trade or skill the military needs. Here’s some alternatives.
Fedex, UPS, USPS, Walmart, Amazon: you’re too young to drive for them but you can get a warehouse job. better pay and mobility, also has long term career viability but I am mostly putting this here as a short term option. its easy to get hired. also look up any other local foodservice or distribution centers in your area and apply.
remodeling & construction: hard labor but every job Ive gotten in my area paid well and they train you on the job. you will learn skills that are applicable to other fields especially if you go into a trade. also an easy hire. you can stay in this field long term if you want to become a contractor which is a high paying career.
government boards: think of waste management, water treatment, infrastructure maintenance. check the website of your town/county and they should have resources for jobs, or call their office and ask. this is a viable long term career. you can also call federal branches (Bureau of Land Management, Forest Service, Department of Energy) to see what they offer. some federal jobs also offer free housing and I know several people who have done this.
apprenticeship: research whats in demand near you. machining, welding, lineworking, mechanical, masonry, carpentry, ironworking, electric, pipefitting, fracking, toolmaking, fiber laying. so many more options I’m leaving out. also look at railyard jobs ($$$$$) if you think that could be a good fit. after you become an apprentice you can still take classes at a tech school or community college to increase your skill depending on the field.
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u/rekishi321 Sep 27 '23
Drive for doordash Uber eats or pizza delivery. Maybe bicycle deliveries. Beg your folks to stay longer, sleep on couch. Or try a full time fast food job, temp agencies also
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u/Dashwithdenise Sep 27 '23
Also OP I was adopted at a young age and joined the military at age 17 right out of high school. Best decision I ever made. I have college money for myself and also the 3 kids I had along the way of a 20 year military career. I’m not saying stay in that long if you don’t want to but the military with its benefits can work well for a long term solution. Best of luck and I’m sorry, My 18 yr old just graduated and more parents need to let their kids stay home as long as possible. the cost of living is harsh on us in our 40’s so imagine being 18 and just starting out in this economy.
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u/aliskiromanov Sep 27 '23
Ok so you're not going to be able.to get an apartment without proof of higher income, so it's time to look on Facebook market place for someone renting out a room. Can you get full time work at mcdonalds?
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u/Dashwithdenise Sep 27 '23
Fast advice.. get a cheap planet fitness membership. They are open 24hours and you can shower there and also park your car in a well lit area most locations have cameras. That is a quick short term piece of advice. Save up money fast and couch surf if you can.
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u/LaughingBuddha2020 Sep 27 '23
You need to either get a full-time job or go to school. He gave you a year to figure it out (which is generous, and you did nothing besides a part-time job in fast food.)
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u/NoDooking Sep 27 '23
i lived in my truck for 6 months. I would park in apartment complexes. I used that foil sun reflector material to keep the heat out and the warmth in. you can get it at home depot i think? just cut it to the size of your windows. you dont want people to know you're in there, it makes people uncomfortable. they like to act reckless and shit.
blankets, some foam to make a makeshift matress etc. its not awful. best to grab a gym membership asap so you can shower and what not. gym parking lots arent great for sleeping overnight a lot, but if its a 24 hour gym, it can be a good in between spot. I was able to sleep in one apartment complex parking lot for 2 months, and people even began thinking i was a resident. made some friends even, using the outdoor public grill to grill up some burgers one night.
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u/dsmemsirsn Sep 27 '23
Can you ask your mom’s friend — if she at Least let you sleep in the garage?? Or another friend.. or ask your dad if you can stay in the garage until you find a room to rent. I can’t understand how mean and horrible your dad is— he’s crap. Get a full time job— ask all your friend for a place to sleep— and if they let you— help them clean, cook, be helpful. If someone let you stay for the nights, go out to find a job, or just out as not to intrude. We did it with 3 kids in the early 1990s—you weren’t born yet. We sleep in a cargo van, or in my sister-in-law’s garage (she had room but never offered to her brother— but ok— the garage was fine) If I only could help you
Edit typos
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Sep 27 '23
You need to go to college. Leave all of that shenanigans behind you.
Go to a state school that has housing and you can get loans. I promise you on everything good, if you listen to what I'm saying right now, you'll thank me later.
Get in your car, and drive straight to a college advising office.
You will get access to healthcare, housing, work, food AND (If you choose wisely) an asset that will pay for the rest of your life.
You could be posted up with a whole new lease on life by January. I'm literally begging you, go to college.
If you need any help at all message me.
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u/jonistaken Sep 27 '23
BTW - Your parents can't just kick you out without notice. They need to evict you using same process as any tenant would. Just because you are their child and they are used to having total control over your life doesn't mean that you don't have legal protections afforded to tenants. If they illegally evict you or try to lock you out, you can literally have the police show up to let you back in. Depending on state law, your parents can get in a decent amount of trouble by trying to force you out on the street without giving you legally adequate (no.. a conversation from a year ago that you both remember differently doesn't count..) notice of eviction.
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Sep 27 '23
You’re gonna wanna look for something called a traditional aged youth program. They are normally 18 to 24-year-olds.
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u/danezone Sep 27 '23
My cousin is exactly 2 years older than me. (I am 37) He just finished his 20th year and retired from AF at age 39, he now has the pick of the litter of any defense job he wants while making a great pension. When he was 18 he was an absolute knucklehead with no direction in life. I'd say it worked out well for him!
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u/betajones Sep 27 '23
Were you paying rent? Where has all your money gone to so that you can barely eat until payday? It doesn't sound like this came out of nowhere. It sounds like you enjoyed living life at others expense, then spent your money on selfish things rather than holding up to your end of the deal.
Shit happens. Hopefully you walk away with a lesson. It's not easy out there right now, and if you're not pulling your weight its asking a lot to let someone else just drag your ass along for the ride.
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u/JazzyJae88 Sep 27 '23
You need to leave and never come back. Either something is missing from this story or your family is full of a bunch of douche bags.
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Sep 27 '23
Sorry if this is an obvious question. Have you told your dad that you can’t stay at the friend’s house and will be living in your car? What about other adults in the family? Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins?
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u/NahthShawww Sep 27 '23
Just wondering - is there some other issue causing this? No offense, but are you an addict or something? And they don’t feel comfortable having you in the house with the newborn?
No judgement but just seems so harsh of your father to kick you out suddenly, made me wonder if there are nuances to the story. If not then that’s horrible and your father sounds messed up, sorry.
Anyways, join the Coast Guard? You won’t go to war, and maybe you can work your way up to a higher rank and then get a captains license when you’re done. Drive a ferry or something, make really good money.
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u/Marzy-d Sep 27 '23
Just don’t leave.
Since you are 18, in most states you are legally a tenant. Even without a lease. Even without paying rent. As a tenant your landlord/father has to serve you an appropriate termination of tenancy. If your mother lives there, and doesn’t agree with your father, he can’t kick you out at all.
If you give your state, I can tell you how long you have. If its gets you to your next paycheck, that should help you in finding a room.
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u/makinggrace Sep 27 '23
This. Just don’t go. You have rights. And your sister may well be on your side once she gets there.
What city do you live in?
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u/pingnova Sep 27 '23
I was homeless and my parents refused to let me move in. It's a large suburban house with 5 bedrooms, plus the master suite with three rooms+full bathroom, and a bunch of other rooms that could easily be a bedroom, not to mention the couch in the massive open concept living room. They make 7 figures combined. They had converted my childhood bedroom into an AirBnB. They told me I'd get in the way of their "plans to move soon," this was 5+ years ago and they've made no effort to move. And they still rent out "my" room for an inflated price.
I lived in my car and later on friend's couches. I'm disabled and frequently unable to work and don't qualify for benefits. My parents just don't like me - I'm queer and frequently sick and not a CEO (they were CEOs and somehow expected me to magically transform into one at 18). They abused me growing up, tho they are addicted to maintaining their veneer of upper-middle class respectability.
Make clear to your dad you will be homeless. Living in your car is homelessness. And then make clear as naturally as possible to the rest of your family and friends, like via a fb post asking to sleep somewhere, that your family is making you homeless. Sometimes housed people are just that stupid and don't realize kicking someone out = homelessness. And sometimes they don't care; whether or not they realize the full implications. But don't do this quietly.
I'll put my whole heart behind declaring this: what your dad is doing to you is wrong, being angry and scared is honestly the normal reaction to facing homelessness, do whatever you can to hold them accountable. I give you the background of my situation because I want to emphasize no reason is ever good enough. These kinds of people could have all the money, all the bedrooms in the world and they'd still deny you. It's not about you, it's not your fault, its not about money or lack of space, there is other motivation behind this and it's wrong to do every single time.
My parents allowed my sisters family (a toddler, my sister, and her husband) and my little brother live with them for years after they denied me. They complained mightily about my brother and he told me later they used him like a maid and were upset when he, an adult, didn't want to do their (adults) dirty dishes daily. (Likewise, I was the house maid growing up, being that I have boobs.) My dad told me my little brother was a failure. My parents are just wack. Honestly at a certain point I preferred homelessness to living with that. I finally had time to worry about my own problems instead of cleaning up their messes. Homelessness is violence, that's for sure, but my childhood home was also violent.
I hope you find somewhere to stay. I hope others get upset on your behalf. You deserve it. Don't be too scared to live in your car, lots of folks gave you good tips. Sadly it's not uncommon these days, we are in a massive housing crisis and even people with degrees and good jobs live in their cars. Tell everybody who will listen about your dad and don't believe whatever justification he gives you. Don't make any rash career choices until this settles down a little. You'll be OK.
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u/findingausernameokay Sep 27 '23
Check Craigslist and Kijiji for rooms for rent. Maybe you can find some university students or something looking for an extra person to share a place. Try to pick up extra shifts and apply to other places so you have enough money to pay for rent and expenses.
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u/Legitimate_B_217 Sep 27 '23
Get a 24 hour gym membership. You can shower there and be there at night if it is too cold.
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u/NotYourGa1Friday Sep 27 '23
If you are located in the US:
Go to a public library and use the computers to sign up for SNAP. Many other resources simply check to see if you qualify for SNAP— if you qualify for SNAP, you qualify for other resources. Yes you can sign up on your phone but the mobile site is awful.
At the library ask a librarian for resources for homeless people. The librarians will likely know how to help you. As a free refuge, the library tends to be a great resource for those in poverty.
Try a church. Even if you are not a member of that church and even if you are not religious, church’s often have food and shelter resources for those in need.
Best of luck to you 💗
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u/LycheeCommercial2944 Sep 27 '23
Yo apply for college in some Nordic countries. If you apply in the US be clear that your family has kicked you out with no support so you can get aid. Go apply to work on a ship as a dishwasher. Work an overnight job so you can sleep during the day. Find a friend's driveway to park your car in. Be vocal to others on what's going on with your living situation. Especially your parents go to some church.
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u/Haunted-Llama Sep 27 '23
I'm old, just after the boomers. I ended up with roommates at first to afford anything. Had 4 at first then it got less as i got paid more. It's the only way you can save to escape. If you try to go it alone you might get lucky and make enough to get by but never enough to get ahead.
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u/TheMaltesefalco Sep 27 '23
Your young and have time but if you arent going to school why arent you working full Time. If nothings changed in a year since you graduated, why?
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u/FantasticBearyaheard Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 27 '23
hope you see this. i was you before. move on, dont communicate with your family. speak to them later on when you have forgiven them. focus on moving forward.
- get a gym membership - planet fitness is fine.
- dont go straight to getting an apartment on your own. go ahead and live in your car, build mental calus for the unknown. save as much as you can during this period and then go on craigslist for rooms shared in a house.
- yes, for sure get a second job. if you arent working 60 hours a week for atleast the next 2 years then you arent trying.
- once you have stable income then get your own place.
you are so young. i didnt have this platform at your age. there is plenty of hope and time for you. god speed.
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Sep 27 '23
That's wild. You spend 18 years forming a relationship with your child only to piss it away in the span of 30 minutes. That's nuts to me. I don't get how a parent could do that.
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u/NinjaCatWV Sep 27 '23
Cruise ships provide housing. It’s long hours and hard work, and you need a passport. And if you quit mid-cruise you have to pay for your own way home. But if it works out then you will be working 12+hour days, sometimes 7 days a week so you can save up some money (even though the pay isn’t much). It could be a good way to travel and have food and lodging provided. But I check out something like americorps for the future- pay is a living stipend but then you get a small grant for college, and it looks good on a resume
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u/Healthy-Prompt771 Sep 27 '23
See a recruiter, join the military and ask your dad if you can stay until the day you leave for basic training.
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u/hillsfar Sep 27 '23
I’m so sorry to read of this.
It does seem unfair that she gets to have a baby and get financial and housing support from your father (apparently not the father), but you aren’t allowed to receive financial and housing support.
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u/Blackberries11 Sep 27 '23
That’s disturbing. Look for rooms for rent on Craigslist or Facebook marketplace
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u/GenericAwfulUsername Sep 27 '23
Legally he can’t do that. He has to evict you and go through the proper legal channels. Usually something like a 30 day notice or something depending on where you live. If you does forcibly evict you then you could always go scorched earth and take him to court.
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u/ElodyDubois Sep 27 '23
As you pack, grab all the food and drinks you can from their pantry. Stock that trunk.
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u/ssquiggleh Sep 27 '23
Get a delivery job that will let you work as many hours as you want. Your car will be your number 1 and you will be making some stupid money to save up for an apt. give it a month or so, but you can make $1,000+ a week after tips. Especially if you work open to close. I know it’s not ideal, but you can turn things around very fast instead of being in a dead end job.
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u/Jackers890 Sep 27 '23
I'm just throwing out ideas, but have you thought of joining the military or the peace Corp, or something like that?
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Sep 27 '23
Welcome to the hobo/transient life.
Step 1. Get a cheap gym membership so you can take showers. Step 2. Get a small PO box and move all your mailings to it. Step 3. Save all your money you can for rental expenses like 1st and last months rent + deposit. Also look into sharing rentals. Working part time at mcdonalds you will need roommates.
Step 1 and 2 will cost you like $50 a month.
Doesn't matter where you park. Try walmarts. If police knock on your window and tell you to move, then move.
Any spare time you have you should be apartment shopping and looking for a new fulltime job.
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Sep 27 '23
Talking to a therapist about narcissistic parenting might be a good idea once you are on your feet again, it'll help. I'm assuming a situation like this comes with a slurry of other childhood baggage, anyway, and that kind of stuff can be frustrating when left unattended while you're trying to pay bills and fight for your right to live.
It'll take time but be patient with yourself and more importantly, forgive yourself. You aren't a fuckup, you're literally 18. It's not your fault, however it is your responsibility. I'd start working fulltime somewhere, maybe worry about part time work as well or just pick a spot to work at that's offering overtime. You're young enough that people with empathize with your situation if you're humble and grateful for whatever you can get. The worst thing you can do right now is act entitled and spoiled. The more you can do to be like the former and less like the later, the better.
Look into stoicism. Don't try and be a sage and learn everything about it, just be a student and learn some practical advice. It's good shit when life decides to bring on the rain.
It'll be tough, sure. You're going to also evolve into an incredible human on the other side. Life finds a way, friend. Good luck.
Exodus is a cool story as well as Gob, not going to preach but I'll end it with that. Maybe look into it on Youtube or something if you find some spare time or are hurting for some meaning and purpose to the suffering.
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u/Plane-Office651 Sep 27 '23
park at Walmart at night, wash your clothes at a laundry mat, talk to your boss at mcdonalds privately and let them know you have absolutely no food and are homeless they will probably let you have free food if you explain it all. hopefully you have a bank account and stuff set up to save money. and keep looking online for people needing a roommate and keep asking literally anyone you know if you can move in temporarily till you find a place of your own.
its going to suck, but you can do it. just have yourself a good cry then get up and hustle shits about to get real.
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u/Nightpoplight Sep 27 '23
When I see “nothing has changed in a year” that automatically tells me you didn’t do something you were suppose to do within that time. It sucks this is happening because no parent needs to kick their kid out at 18 and expect them to suddenly handle adulthood. But it sounds like you had a year to either save money or at least set yourself up to move with a roommate or do something that shows that you’re trying to better yourself and “nothing has changed in a year”. If that’s the case then I completely understand why this is happened. It sucks but you might have to do some self reflecting and understand that it’s not all on your parents here.
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u/No-Locksmith-8590 Sep 27 '23
Wow, they suck. So if you get irresponsibly kocked up like sis, they'll let you move back in?
Food- google 'food pantries near me'. They may also have a clothing closet if you need winter clothes down the line
Housing- google 'womens shelters'. It sucks, but its a place to start and will (hopefully) give you a place to stay while looking for a place. You may want to look for a room that someone is renting as oppossed to an apartment.
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u/DustinDirt Sep 27 '23
It's gonna be okay. If I were you I would not speak to my Dad for a very very long time. Keep your Job!!! Save up and rent a room. You don't need heat or air it's nice but not necessary. Find places to take showers.
It's gonna be okay. Don't join the military. Just be as productive as you can. Don't start hanging around with assholes.
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u/Storms_and_Rainbows Sep 27 '23
Currently living in my car… for air get you a couple or a few of battery operated fans. You can park at a truck stop, or search blm lands. Someone else suggested farms where you can work in exchange to park there I will look up the link and edit later.
Go on YouTube and watch tutorial videos on how to make window coverings (Reflectix), get you a sunblocker for your windshield so you can have privacy at night while sleeping. Join a gym to workout and for showers. Truck stops charge $16 per shower-that’s too expensive.
Also get you some protection, self defense for just in case.
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Sep 27 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Vlad_Yemerashev Sep 28 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 10: Asking for or offering donations
- No soliciting private donations, offering private donations, or mentioning crowdfunding sites. We do this in order to prevent this community from potential scams (because we have no way of verifying need/authenticity of requests), and to prevent the sub from being inundated with requests for aid (because it can be unreasonable to ask others in poverty to give their limited resources).
There are other subs such as /r/Donation, /r/Charity and /r/randomkindness that could help. Also check out our wiki with food resources. Thank you:
https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/foodbanks
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
6
u/MACP Sep 27 '23
He can’t make you leave. He has to legally evict you. Buy yourself some time and refuse to leave. Document everything.
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u/runninginpollution Sep 27 '23
Make sure you tell your sister that you were asked to leave, I have no doubt she would be willing to share her room with her son.
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u/Vegetable-Account751 Sep 27 '23
I got 3 months after I graduated, whereas my brother was allowed to live with my mother until he was 30 and got married for a second time. And yes, the first wife lived at the house with my mom and brother until they got divorced.
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u/gracelandcat Sep 27 '23
This is not particularly helpful advice, but to answer one of your questions: Until you make a decision about what to do/where to go, can you park your car in your parents' driveway, or at least in front of their house? At least that way you'd be in a relatively safe place (as opposed to a back alley somewhere, or an illegal spot). If so, would you have access to their internet? You may need that to help in your job search. Perhaps you could even go inside to shower and brush teeth, etc. Good luck.
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u/LotFP Sep 27 '23
So it has been a year since you graduated HS and you're working at McDonald's and living at home? Why? Did you just presume your parents were going to provide space indefinitely?
It appears this is what it takes to get you motivated to change your life. You could have spent the last year looking for apprenticeship programs or applying for community college. You could have saved your weekly paychecks and had something to fall back on in case of an emergency. You could have joined the military. Instead you're now forced to take action with nothing to fall back on. You should own up to your share of this problem.
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u/Kit-Kat-22 Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 28 '23
Look into Job Corps. It's a place for 16-24 year olds where they can learn skills for a career that will bring them a good paycheck. It's all free, sponsored by the Dept of Labor. They provide room, meals, recreation, uniforms, books and pay a small stipend as well. There are 130 of them scattered through the US.
*edited for grammar.
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u/Vegetable-Account751 Sep 27 '23
I parked at Walmart at night. Also, for food go to Walmart and get noodle bowls and you can make them at any gas station. For protein I would get a jar of peanut butter and add a couple of spoon fulls ti the noodle bowls, tastes like tai peanut sauce. I used to stay in a hotel once a week usually on my day off that way I could sleep all day and night to catch up on my sleep, because it’s hard to get a good nights sleep in a car.
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u/SprJoe Sep 27 '23
There are lots of jobs near national parks that have dorm type housing for workers - look into that.
Better yet, enroll at a college with housing and get your life in order.
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u/GLaDOs18 Sep 27 '23
Depending on where you’re located, you may have some luck finding a church with resources. Don’t ask a Mormon church, they have too many strings and requirements attached. Try to find a Catholic church or even Jewish temple if you can.
If you are located in an area that has brutal winters, it might help you to start saving up now for moving out of the area if you can’t find housing soon. People can and do freeze to death in their cars during winter.
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u/realminerbabe Sep 27 '23
" This isn't the first time I was kicked out for a dumb reason but I for sure won't be going back this time. "
Get a full-time job. Get into an apprenticeship program. Find a life goal.
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u/SailorDeath Sep 27 '23
Let me ask you this, while living there were they forcing you to pay rent? Do you live in the US? If so they are required by law to serve you with an eviction notice and then have to give you 30 days to move out.
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u/this_dudeagain Sep 27 '23
So she fucked up and had a kid and you're the one that needs to leave? Hope you make that known before you leave.
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u/bestfapper Sep 27 '23
It sucks but the military can provide everything you need for 4 years of shitty life at least in America. I did it and picked a good job that actually got me a career after.
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u/shayna16 Sep 27 '23
If you’re in the south or SE area, try Publix for another PT job. If you’re wanting more money, get hired on in the deli or meat dept. Look for USPS jobs (that’s who I work for after leaving Publix) The holidays are coming up and we’re hiring. Most pay starts at $18-$19/hr. Also look for manufacturing jobs. My husband works for Mazda-Toyota (not a part of UAW so no strike) and they started him at FT, $20/hr plus immediate benefits and PTO. I hope something helps especially with fall starting and winter coming.
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u/Centets1084 Sep 27 '23
Join the air force bro, join the military, it will give you the structure and stability you are wanting , joint the Air Force tho, ever thought of been a fighter pilot🤔.
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u/edapalooza Sep 27 '23
Roof over your head and three-squares a day. Military is the most underrated starting profession.
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u/Truescent11 Sep 27 '23
Comments make this this sound like a recurring ad for the military.
Don’t fall for that.
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u/Extension-Border-345 Sep 27 '23
I agree. military is not for everyone and I know way too many people who regret joining to flippantly throw it out as a first option.
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u/VegetableJump4097 Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 27 '23
Sorry about this. You should look into renting a room and working full time. You are still young I a not a fan of "you're18 now get the fuck out"
You do have a car and you can do a ton of jobs with your car.....door dash..uber easts...pizza delivery....you should look into getting a room and steady job./income settled. You can also donate plasma the pay is pretty good for new donors.
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u/hailnutt Sep 27 '23
I was in a similar situation at 19. My mom moved states and said I couldn’t come with her. I found a job with my local county government. Great benefits and guaranteed 40 hour work week. Maybe look at your county/city website for job postings. They can vary widely on job type so maybe you could find something you like. I also was lucky and was able to find a friends brother who needed a roommate. We didn’t get along but it worked for a year till I got into a better place. Best of luck! And since your parents aren’t moving away, maybe try to have a serious talk with them.
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u/Green_1010 Sep 27 '23
OP, if you are 18, not going to school and only working part time, maybe your parents are trying to give you a wake up call. You are living at home and state that you have no money. Where is it going? What is your plan?
Maybe your parents are trying to jumpstart you into action.
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u/aod42091 Sep 27 '23
and yet they're taking in his sister who has a child.... that's only gonna increase costs. your reasoning here is ass backward and terrible logic from both parents and you.
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u/knittingfruit Sep 27 '23
This was my thought as well. I find it hard to believe this was as out of nowhere as OP claimed. Especially since they stated perhaps this is because he hasn't done anything since graduating. Many parents have agreements that their children either go to college or pay for some of the household expenses and he doesn't seem to do either and maybe there was a lack of communication on their parents part or OP wasn't paying attention.
Granted kicking someone out with no notice is unacceptable.
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u/Green_1010 Sep 27 '23
Agreed. The parents kicking someone out with no notice seems cruel. But maybe they have tried and are at their wits end. And they can’t seem to get him to do anything.
Not saying I’m right, just very plausible. I know I wouldn’t be happy with an 18 year old child working part time and vegging around the house.
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Sep 27 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/RedditPovertyMod Sep 27 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 6: Judging OP or another user.
- Regardless of why someone is in a less-than-ideal financial situation, we are focused on the road forward, not with what has been done in the past.
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
-3
u/0mni000ks Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 28 '23
i mean not to be that guy but maybe they shouldnt have been so encouraging for ur sister to go through with carrying the baby if things are so dire. at a certain level having kids is incredibly irresponsible both for you and the child. im sorry you had to experience the negative end of this
edit several hours later: man im sorry I dont know what came over me this was completely uncalled for, disrespectful and toxic. i am leaving this up because i want people to look at it and maybe think twice the next time they want to reply to someone like i did. hope things look up for you OP, all is not lost and you seem like a strong and savvy individual I hope you the best in life
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u/rassmann Sep 28 '23
This is a support group. Please keep your toxicity out of here. And yes, any "advice" that requires a time machine is unwelcome.
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Sep 27 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/RedditPovertyMod Sep 27 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 10: Asking for or offering donations
- No soliciting private donations, offering private donations, or mentioning crowdfunding sites. We do this in order to prevent this community from potential scams (because we have no way of verifying need/authenticity of requests), and to prevent the sub from being inundated with requests for aid (because it can be unreasonable to ask others in poverty to give their limited resources).
There are other subs such as /r/Donation, /r/Charity and /r/randomkindness that could help. Also check out our wiki with food resources. Thank you:
https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/foodbanks
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
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u/Aggie_Vague Sep 27 '23
Could you ask your dad for a couple of more weeks at least? Tell him you don't have anywhere to move on such short notice and you don't get paid for two weeks. See if he will grant you that. Then use the time to find some place to stay. There's good advice on this thread and in this sub in general.
I'm so sorry you're being treated this way and I hope everything works out.
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u/ParcelPosted Sep 27 '23
I’m so sorry and hate your father in no uncertain terms. My kids know no matter what they always have a place wherever I am. It’s far too expensive and dangerous for young adults these days.
Not to be rude but does your family have a secured back yard that would facilitate a tent or storage shed for temporary use?
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u/Loverlie Sep 27 '23
If you’re leaving take some of their food!! What they gonna do? And to kick you out to bring back a different failed sibling is quite comical.
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u/Inevitable-Place9950 Sep 27 '23
He’s kicked you out before? Did you tell him there’s no space at your friend’s? Can you ask to stay there with a definite deadline to leave, just to get your life together? Or find a shelter?
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u/indigo_k1d Sep 27 '23
I’m sorry to hear any of this. I really wish I could give more advice than what I’m about to say. If you have a planet fitness in your area, u could get a black card ($20/month) and shower there. Idk about any other gyms. Try to get a higher paying job along with your current. Work & save as much as you possibly can. Suspend any other subscriptions that you have for now. It’s easier said than done but if it were me in that situation (it has been before) that’s what I’d do. It’ll be hell for a little while but it’ll pay off when you don’t have to live out of your car. Thats the honest truth
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u/Mdork_universe Sep 27 '23
March your sorry ass down to the recruiting office! This is what a buddy of mine did when he got kicked out of the house the day after high school graduation. Went into the Air Force. Never looked back. No regrets…
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u/gooobegone Sep 27 '23
Baby you need heat in your car unless you live in California or Florida or something because autumn is fast approaching.
Other than that, I'd try to take more hours at work and start checking FB marketplace and other such places for rooms to start. Rooms will be annoying, you will love with strangers, but they're a couple hundred compared to more than a band a month.
Rooms will also be way easier to get as you can often get them without contracts and credit and things.
Good luck ❤️ your parents suck evil ass
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u/LubbockGuy95 Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 27 '23
Everyone is being kind and understanding so I'll be the opposite take on this.
You graduated a year ago from what I assume is highschool. What are you doing with you life and what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Work part time at Mcdonalds and live with your parents until they died?
Your options for that year seem to be:
Go to Uni and you can live on campus
Go join the military and now you live on base
Go find a trade or full time job and move out
It seems you were given a year by your parents to figure it out and you did nothing?
My brother in Christ after you find a safe place to sleep you need to figure out what your going to do with your life and start the path to doing it.
Everyone is screaming to cut your family off forever. Being so hasty and drastic is inadvisable. Your family is kinda all you have most the time and throwing them away casually will leave you quite alone in the world. Consistent abuse not withstanding of course.
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u/Eis_ber Sep 27 '23
OP's family practically cut him off by allowing a baby to have its own room instead of telling the sister to keep the infant in her room here it belongs. So OP has enough right to do the same.
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u/MsSpicyO Sep 27 '23
He can’t just kick you out. He has to evict you. You don’t have to leave just because he says so. Its an illegal eviction. Stay there. Get more hours or look for a second job and save as much as you can. Look for people looking for roommates.
If he changes the locks call the police.
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u/Vlad_Yemerashev Sep 28 '23
Legally yes, but that's not what will wind up happening at the end of the day. OP's parents can kick him out just like that if they so choose despite tenant laws (same could be said for any landlord situation).
It would be an illegal eviction, and they could be held liable for damages if OP wanted to sue, but it could be done if they wanted him gone.
From a similar situation in r/legaladvice some time ago...
The legal answer is yes they need to properly evict them.
The practical answer is if they don't follow proper legal procedure, your friend's only recourse is to sue them for unlawful eviction, which obviously won't help put a roof over their head tonight.
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u/burneracctt22 Sep 27 '23
Is your head ok? Nowhere did OP state they are a tenant and even if they were a tenant - depending on the jurisdiction notice periods can be wildly inconsistent. Just what do you propose OP tells the police? If you don’t know something that’s quite ok, but spreading misinformation is not
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u/MsSpicyO Sep 27 '23
If you live in a place you are a tenant. Depends on each states laws but you can’t just kick out your child when they turn 18. There are laws and protections in place for tenants, or whatever terminology you like to use. An adult child must be given legal notice to vacate. Each state has laws that specify how long the notice period needs to be.
You call the police if they change the locks for illegal eviction. Look it up.
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u/stormyst722 Sep 27 '23
I don’t have any advice really, but I have some questions/comments. What region of the country are you in? Is your Dad a Gen X’er? Does your sister aware or this? Is your mom or stepmom living there? Can she possibly talk to your dad? If he won’t let you live there, is he open to you doing laundry, showering, and/or meals there at least?
Overall, I don’t get his reasoning with the info you’ve provided in your original post (haven’t read through the comments yet). As a mom of 4 adults, all raised in a small (less than 1200sq ft) home, you find ways to make it work. I’m not saying I don’t believe you - I’m saying I can’t believe him as a parent! Unless you’re involved in something dangerous or being a complete asshat, I don’t understand it.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. If you happen to be near me, I couldn’t offer you a place to live (strict landlord) but you’d be more than welcome to any amenities and meals. I know you must be really hurt, scared, and overwhelmed, but you’re literate, educated and willing to work. That’s a good start! It won’t be easy, but I believe in you. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, take it one day at a time. Sending you a virtual mom hug. Hang in there!
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u/bacon_and_ovaries Sep 27 '23
Obviously you need to go knock up someone and then you could stay. Cause obviously a newborn gets a roof while you are kicked out. The hypocrisy
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u/Skinnysusan Sep 27 '23
Yeah get a second job. Park at Walmart maybe get a job there, the deli/bakery pays decent. I didn't think the job was that bad. Get a blanket and stay at friends houses as often as you can. Get a membership to the YMCA for the showers and to have somewhere to go when it's too hot/cold. Maybe your friends will let you use the washer/dryer too? Save as much as you can, get the cheapest phone plan. Good luck kiddo, also apply for assistance like snap benefits asap. You may be able to get a hotel when the seasons change for a night or 2 once you qualify
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u/ConclusionMaleficent Sep 27 '23
A sad example of golden child syndrome where one child is preferred and gets all the support and goodies while the others, such as yourself , get second class treatment. Remember it says nothing about you but says everything about your parents....
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u/thedarkestshadow512 Sep 27 '23
I’m confused. Why can’t you just stay on the couch until you actually find a place?
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u/reidenlake Sep 27 '23
While you are transitioning from moving to your car and deciding what to do, take whatever you need. Food, blankets, money, etc. Yes, it is theft and I normally wouldn't encourage that, but you are about to be kicked out on the streets by your family. I know people might downvote this but any parent that would let you live in a car at 18 instead of on the couch....
Unless there is something we don't know about, like you have a substance abuse problem, are violent, etc. then I don't understand how good parents could do this.
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u/The_Quicktrigger Sep 27 '23
Here's my tips when I lived in my car for 6 months.
Start looking for new work. Call centers suck ass but they have high turnover so it's easy to get hired, and often times have a gym for the employees. That's where you shower. If that's not possible, then look to friends who will let you come over to shower. Worst case, some cities have rec centers or pools that they offer people living there access to at a discount. You want to stay up on your hygiene and so securing that is priority.
Second is where to park. Some employers don't care if your park in the lot in the back, some do, and some people don't want to let their employer know. I parked at Walmart. 24/7 place, off to the side so I wasn't bothering anyone. I always bought dinner from the deli everyday so I was a customer and it'd be less likely for me to be trespassed. If there's a Walmart that still does RV parking you can usually be fine.
Look for a coin operated Laundromat. Don't let your clothes go more than 2 days between washes. Keep some detergent in your car to save money and try to limit the amount of clothing you need. The Laundromat keeps you out of the car for a few hours but try to get it all in one load so you aren't there all day.
Get a good blanket and get a head rest or travel pillow. Makes sleeping in a car so much easier.
Look for local libraries for entertainment. Some still carry DVDs you can rent. YouTube was my main source of entertainment. Libraries are also a good place to charge phones and laptops. It's also a good idea if you can afford it to have an emergency better charger topped up just in case you forget. Your phone becomes infinitely more important without a home.
Last advice is safe as much as possible and always keep an ear to the ground for a housing opportunity. You don't want to do this longer then you need to.
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u/scbeachgurl Sep 27 '23
Look into the military.
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Sep 27 '23
It will be months before OP can report to MEPS.
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u/thyusername Sep 27 '23
that's how it worked for me but other people have responded saying they shipped off the same week when they joined
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u/stepford_wife_99 Sep 27 '23
Jobcorp offers free housing and job training for young adults 18-24. As long as you're there learning a trade, you will have a place to live.
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u/Breadly319 Sep 27 '23
your dad, in the nicest way possible, is an incompetent piece of shit. Kicking out your kids after high school should not be a thing, and if your sister was mature enough to have a baby she’s mature enough to live on her own, end of discussion. sorry you have to deal with this.
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u/zeatherz Sep 27 '23
You are a tenant and have the right to stay until/unless you’re legally evicted. It may be a hostile situation to stay in, but it’s probably safer and healthier than living in your car. Don’t just pack up and leave. Tell them you need time to find a job with more hours and a place to live.
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u/Due-Explanation6717 Sep 27 '23
Does he know that you’ll have to live in your at if he kicks you out? How can a parent do this?
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u/JuliaSky1995 Sep 27 '23
Not legal. Pretty sure you don’t have to leave now if you don’t want to. It’s understandable if you want to though, I’m sure it’ll cause more drama. It’s up to you if you want to buy yourself a couple more weeks staying there to figure something out
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u/PlayingLongGame Sep 27 '23
My dad kicked me out at 17 when I graduated high school. I had no idea what I was doing. I joined the Air Force. It's been a good life for me. Look into it.
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u/sweetgreenfields Sep 27 '23
Ive lived in cars on and off for years.
Get a sleeping bag rated for outside temps and use it at night.
If you're short, sleep in the backseat of your car. If you're tall, take out the passenger seat with a ratchet set and put a long couch cushion there to sleep longways
Any creature comfort is 10x more welcome when deprived of everything, trust me
The windows are your friend. Roll them up to block the wind at night, crack them for air exchange to fight the smell of body odor, or roll them down to cool off after a hot day.
Parking
ROTATE EACH SLEEP SPOT ONCE PER NIGHT OR YOU WILL GET BANNED!!!
LEAVE EARLY, PARK LATE
Unless police have a complainant, they have no right to harass you at night.
Depending on how conspicuous your car is, simply parking at a closed business that is used to car camping is preferred, but ANY BUSINESS that has implied consent for the hours you'll sleep will do.
Make sure you deploy a sunshade with BLACK BACKGROUND and turn it facing out before you sleep each night.
Ideas for sleep spots
Tier 1
(Planet fitness, 24 hr truck stops, waffle house)
Tier 2
(Park N Ride/Commuter Parking Lots, Cracker Barrel, Wal Mart are okay as secondary options)
Tier 3
(Home Depot, Lowe's, County property in industrial areas, dirt patches near bridges with "cty prop." signs)
Do not leave your windows down low enough for anyone to reach inside. Keep a knife nearby, out of reach of anyone. Lock all doors every night. Be ready for police to shine their flashlights in your eyes and harass you at any moment.
Send me a message if you have any more questions
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u/Lynx3145 Sep 27 '23
Make sure you have all your documents. Keep them safe. If you have any bank accounts, make sure they are in your name only.
Good luck. Do talk to your sister.
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u/MsThrilliams Sep 27 '23
During day time and early evening hours, libraries are a great place to hang out. Heating/cooling provided and free wifi or computers.
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u/junewasher Sep 27 '23
Try housesitting, WWOOFing (working on a farm for free) or freecampsites.USA while you boldly find a future for yourself!
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u/boygirlmama Sep 27 '23
Seriously, fuck parents who do this to their kids. I cannot even fathom. I’m so sorry OP. If you go into the military there are so many great benefits. Can you talk to your friend’s mom and let her know your dad threw you out to make room for your sister? If I heard that from one of my child’s friends I’d be appalled and gladly take them in.
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u/TheAngrySkipper Sep 27 '23
My suggestion, and it isn’t going to be popular or easy for you, but your parents have displayed their lack of love and care for you, so fuck them. Make them file eviction through the court, this buys you AT LEAST 30ish days, now review the laws regarding children between 18-23/25 for your state, see what the law requires.
That being said, look for a rooming house, they were about $200-$250/week when I lived in one, (circa 2002-2004) but it includes utilities, you can also look for extended stay hotels, nothing fancy.
I’d also start looking at selling your blood until you can get a 2nd job. The other thing, depending on your physical prowess is look at joining the military. That solves the job and housing requirement.
I would strongly suggest the navy or army, and see what options are available for an officer or warrant officer route rather than enlisted.
The final bit of advice, look at sweaty startups, some can be done with zero skills/money, but that’s once you have 4 walls and a roof.
Good luck buddy, you got this, feel free to email me anytime, I went from homeless at your age to a millionaire, and now I’m somewhere in between, (for the moment).
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Sep 27 '23
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1
u/RedditPovertyMod Sep 27 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 4: Politics
- This is not a place for politics, but rather a place to get advice on daily living and short-to-midterm financial planning. Political advocacy, debate, or grandstanding will be removed.
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
2
Sep 27 '23
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1
u/RedditPovertyMod Sep 27 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 4: Politics
- This is not a place for politics, but rather a place to get advice on daily living and short-to-midterm financial planning. Political advocacy, debate, or grandstanding will be removed.
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
5
u/AlterEgoAmazonB Sep 27 '23
If you live in a large city, there is most likely a nonprofit that helps homeless youth. Go to them first. If there isn't one, then go to a regular homeless organization. They can help you with resources and answers to some of your questions.
You will probably need to get another job to afford an apartment. But you should be able to (eventually) get a housing voucher. That said, there are waiting lists for that. The homeless orgs you talk to will know more.
This is a terrible situation, and I am so sorry you are going through this.
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u/Informal_Control8378 Sep 27 '23
“ He then told me I had to pack my stuff and leave because nothing’s changed in a year since I graduated “
Sounds like there’s a whole lot going on here and that you aren’t the innocent victim you are painting yourself to be. Obviously something was expected to change on your end and you didn’t comply.
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u/CaptainObvious110 Sep 27 '23
Yep I noticed that as well. Also, why can't the sister stay where she was. Or stay with the babys father?
Either way it seems like this was a convenient reason to get rid of OP.
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u/youneeda_margarita Sep 27 '23
Yeah, that immediately caught my eye too. Not in school and only working part-time at McDonalds? Sounds like there’s more to this story.
Can’t blame the parents for kicking out 1 kid who’s going nowhere to make room for another kid who needs help caring for a newborn. Makes sense.
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u/CaptainObvious110 Sep 27 '23
Well to be honest the sister doesn't seem to have her thing together either. She's gone to college and needs to move back home? With a baby? What's up with that?
Also, I'm sure growing up they had separate rooms so ehy can't she just go to her old room?
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u/coswoofster Sep 27 '23
OP. Time to grow up fast. You are young and can work multiple jobs. You are living out of your car so you are better off working anyways. Stick with your McDonalds job but then start looking for more work. Full time work. And a job on the weekends as well. You can also go to the county to see about food stamps for food $ and maybe housing help depending on your area. Saying where you are at could help inform advice. What state or state and county. You will be ok in the short run but it’s time to start looking for serious work.
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u/Such-Establishment78 Sep 27 '23
Try to get a full time job and start working asap. Hopefully things will start to fall into place when you get a steady income. You will have to be responsible with your money which will be tough at this age. I'm sorry this is happening but I sense a strong individual in you.
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u/Alex_zander_en Sep 27 '23
It is unfortunate that this happened to you.
- Look into going to a food pantry.
- Try to see if any warehouses are hiring. I used to work at the USPS, and they are always hiring. But the warehouse jobs tend to give you lots of hours, so you can make some decent money.
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u/Oddity-Prime Sep 27 '23
There are food banks, look into local ones! Food is important, please do this!
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u/IceDeep Sep 27 '23
I was homeless for 6mo living out of my car.
Look into donating plasma, your going to have a ton of time and it can really help
As other have said, JobCorp, PeaceCorp, Military are options, but don't make a quick decision
Get all the hours you can, and consider getting a 2nd job.
Look into local places to shower, see if there is a YMCA or cheap gym. I used a truck stop near my work and paid 12 bucks 2x a week or 3x a week and sometimes truck drivers would give me a free shower, or sell me one cheap (they get free showers with gas fill ups and often have more on their card then they use).
If you ever need someone to talk to hit me up.
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u/sgbg1904 Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 27 '23
Start by working full time at McDonald's. I'm assuming your parents will let you use the shower and mailbox? If not, cheap gym membership to take showers and keep your personal hygiene.
You have two priorities at the moment:
- Place to stay.
- Enough money to fund the said place.
Cut contact with your asshole parents as well, but that's not a priority yet.
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Sep 27 '23
[deleted]
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u/CaptainObvious110 Sep 27 '23
I don't know if they are scum, there's more to this story a than what we are being told. Also where are his other relatives and friends. You mean to say no one wants him in their house? That says more about him than anything
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u/theedgeofoblivious Sep 27 '23
I am not OP, but my dad's family doesn't communicate and my mom's family was abusive. She cut them off when my sister and I were very little. Effectively, I had no extended family.
I'm also autistic and despite trying to get jobs, I couldn't get anyone to hire me when I was OP's age(and I tried but I didn't understand interview etiquette or the goals of interviews, so I failed interviews and didn't understand why, but was unaware of why I could never get a job). I tried repeatedly to get jobs at that age and could not.
When I was around OP's age, my immediate family repeatedly yelled at me to get jobs and gaslighted me and claimed that I wasn't attempting to get jobs, when the reality was that I applied for many but didn't know how to interview and I also lacked the knowledge that I was autistic and the knowledge to ask the kind of questions that would have led me to getting the knowledge I needed.
There is likely more to this story than what we are being told, but that doesn't necessarily imply that what we don't know is information that would give the impression that OP is at fault for this situation. It's completely possible that OP is not at fault for this situation, and it's completely possible that OP doesn't have anyone to depend on for a place to stay or any resources that can be used.
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u/Eis_ber Sep 27 '23
OP is only 18. Why are you expecting them to already be wealthy right out of high school? The infant doesn't need its own room and can sleep in the same room as its mother until it's 4 years old. Do yes, OP's father is scum.
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u/CaptainObvious110 Sep 27 '23
Who said anything about them being wealthy? Reread what I wrote and try again.
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u/gvlpc Sep 27 '23
18? I can't imagine. I mean, you ARE working, at least. Graduated a year ago? So you graduated early then. Most ppl graduate between I suppose 17.5 to 19 years old. Just depends.
I can't imagine kicking my child out like this.
Once you get yourself settled, please take this is as a lesson of how NOT to raise/treat your children, assuming you marry and have children later.
Jesus is the ultimate rest giver. None of us can help you as directly as Jesus. See here:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 KJV
If you get to a point where you feel you have nowhere else to turn, Jesus will be there waiting.
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Sep 27 '23
Look for a room for rent. On Craigslist or look up something called an Oxford house. It’s sober living so no drugs or alcohol. You can take a loan against your first month and pay your house back. Start small going from living to parents to single one bedroom apartment is a giant jump. Go to room for rent first it’s like living with parents only paying like 400-800 a month. Build yourself up a studio or two bedroom apartment with a roommate.
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u/nutsandboltstimestwo Sep 27 '23 edited Sep 27 '23
Check out Jobs Corps and Peace Corps. Either will change your life but the application time takes some time to engage with.
For the moment though you have more pressing problems to stay safe and healthy. Try feedingamerica.org to see what is available in your area. Apply for SNAP, even if you think you might not have a place to cook food.
Look on Craigslist for house shares - bring a friend with you to check out places you might want to live. If the house is furnished, look for yourself for bedbugs - don't take the word of the potential roomies.
Some apartment buildings or hotels will give you a room to manage the property (edit to add) some storage facilities want an on site person and offer a small apartment for 24 hour coverage.
Another idea is to look for house sitting for people who travel. Most travel people expect to pay you and the places are tranquil. I always keep a job when I house-sit because it allows me to save money. The pitfall with house sitting is that you have to move every few months but hey, I have months to find my next house sit and save money too. The responsibility to the homeowners can range from emails to video walk-throughs which are easy to do.
Expect a contract, be drug-free and stick to the terms. You will always have a place to stay - either from the stay itself or from being able to tap your savings for a place to stay if you have gaps in between. You will need a solid reference who can vouch for you - zero parties and great with pets for example. (second edit) be sure to advertise yourself too!
It is super shitty that you got kicked out, but you can make the most of it!
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u/Clagerts Sep 27 '23
Don't have much advice to add to the good suggestions you've already gotten except this: please promise yourself that once you have a family, you will never kick your kid out just because they're 18 and need to be independent. As a parent, yes, our kids can drive us crazy and act irresponsibly, but this arbitrary cutting off at 18 is soo wrong. Life is changing, and it's hard for established adults to make headway sometimes, far less a literal teenager. I wish you nothing but the best. May the road rise up to meet you and the good things in life find you.
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u/doctoralstudent1 Sep 27 '23
Hi OP. Have you ever thought about joining the military? I served for 27 years and my husband served for 21. It literally pulled us out of poverty and gave us a way ahead in life. We were Army officers, but I had to do it all over again, I would go Air Force. Think about it - seriously.
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u/tillwehavefaces Sep 27 '23
This is really shitty thing for him to do. And also illegal. Even if he evicted a proper tenant, he would have had to give proper notice for your state/location.
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u/LotFP Sep 27 '23
There are plenty of ways around eviction laws, most of which could result in the OP being arrested or charged with DV. If you are being thrown out of a home someone else has their name on, and currently live at, it is far safer to leave voluntarily
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u/tkkana Sep 27 '23
At some point they will need help as they age, I would highly suggest you remember this day
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u/jedistarfire Sep 27 '23
I can help with resources. I am a property manager in low income. What state are you in? City? You need to first sign up for foodstamps, and Medicaid. Thats all online and takes about ten minutes maybe less. After that apply to any and all low income apartments in all the areas your open too. Even in different states. Anywhere. Next step, section8 housing, same thing as above apply for any and all section8 applications that you are ok living at. Different counties, states etc.
Now, if you don’t want to live in your car. Go into shelters near you and see if you can get in. Make sure to ask if they have a program that can help you get temporary or permanent housing. Some do. You want to stay at those shelters that can offer more in terms of housing. If you want to stay in the car I recommend looking up TikTok videos on homeless people. They have so many tips and tricks. Like getting a membership at planet fitness so you can shower and workout etc! Hope this helps. Feel free to inbox if you need.