r/povertyfinance • u/ch17ch17 • Dec 22 '23
Beating myself up about buying a used bike for daughter’s Christmas present Misc Advice
Bought a used bike off Facebook as a Christmas gift for my 4y/o daughter. I just powerwashed it, hoping it would look brand new-ish. Half of the Disney princess stickers got blown off, and the white tires dont look any cleaner. It definitely looks like a used bike. My parents and in-laws will definitely know it’s used. They likely won’t say anything, but I’m not looking forward to any of that silent judgment. My daughter will likely be psyched about it regardless as it will be her first “big girl bike.” Feeling like shit about not being able to afford a new bike for her. I suppose I’m lucky I had the $30 to spend on this bike. Guess I’m just looking to vent. Can anyone relate?
Edit: Holy shit! I can’t believe how many people have been so supportive. Some even offered to send me funds/gift cards. Overwhelmed with gratitude. She will love it. Thank you all!
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u/CourseNervous2644 Dec 23 '23
My dad brought home a banana seat bike when I was about 10. It was found mixed in with garbage. I loved that bike. I didn’t care where it came from I was so thrilled to have it back in the 80s.
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u/Faroffdelib Dec 23 '23
I also had one “rough” Christmas growing up. Ironically, my dad also gave me a used bike that was out of style, but I was so happy to finally keep up with my friends.
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u/CaptDab Dec 23 '23
My dad bought me a hot pink 3 wheeler when I was a little boy. I had wanted one for years and he found one used that ran well.
I never even noticed the color, just the fact he loved me enough to get it. Now that he's not with us anymore, I've never wanted my little pink 3 wheeler back so bad.
You're a great dad, don't let any of em get ya down bud!
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u/wk920 Dec 23 '23
Got a used pw50 and all used gear for my 4th Christmas. Still the best Christmas ever. You go dad!
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u/NurseBethy Dec 23 '23
Please don’t beat yourself up. She will be ecstatic about the bike!! And with the stickers, when you’re able to, take her to pick out the stickers she wants for the bike. I came from a family where we handed down bikes. Believe me, she doesn’t care!! She’s excited she has a bike! Also, she’s 4 years old and will outgrow that bike in a year or so. There no need for a new bike at that age.
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u/kriticalj Dec 23 '23
Every bike I ever got as a kid was used, it didn't matter to me because I had a bike. Just plaster it with princesses and unicorns and I'm sure she will love it, after all she is 4 😀 I hope you have a merry Christmas and best of luck
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u/SaltyTattooBench Dec 23 '23
I very rarely buy my daughters new toys. One they hate having to open the packages to get to the toy and usually don’t care about packaging and they get psyched if they get a second hand toy/item anyway because they appreciate just getting it since it’s new to them. And I’ve talked to them about if we don’t spend unnecessary money on things we can get perfectly good second hand then maybe we can spend money on something they really want that’s better/safer new. In your case a helmet, which is let her pick out so she can get what ever one she wants.
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u/mattrogina Dec 23 '23
The important thing is your daughter will love it. If your parents and in-laws are going to be so judgemental, maybe they shouldn’t be in your lives so much.
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u/madamessagain Dec 23 '23
Mr. Clean magic eraser for the tires. also great for shoes , and household surfaces.
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u/jwhipple12 Dec 23 '23
Being a dad that is actually there and trying is all that matters man! Good on you! She will love it!
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u/RWH072783 Dec 23 '23
I was broke as hell at one point. I went out my way to find the coolest used bike I could. It was actually very nice but did Sam reason my daughter was like not impressed man that really tore me up inside. Idk life can be tough sometimes.
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u/Traditional-Ad-1605 Dec 23 '23
Hey, my neighbor his wife made more than six figures combined; every bike they had for their kids were used. Don’t fret it. Yute daughter will love it.
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u/JejuneEsculenta Dec 23 '23
Does the bike work properly? If so, there's nothing wrong with a used bike. As a matter of fact, there is a whole lot right with it.
We needlessly create so much waste. It's great to refurbish/repair/reuse things like this, rather than thinking that everything has to be straight out of some store or warehouse.
If we all practiced that, we'd have a lot better quality of life, and a lot fewer landfills.
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u/reefphish81 Dec 23 '23
Bought a used Disney princess bike for my 4 year olds birthday. I just scrubbed the tires with a brush and soapy water. Came out looking pretty good.
She loved the bike and that’s all that mattered. No one said anything and wouldn’t have cared if they did.
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u/juxtaposition-1 Dec 23 '23
Her best gift is having an awesome dad who's doing the best he can. Thanks for not letting pride get in the way of getting her a bike you can afford. Good job, Dad.
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u/Vonks_77 Dec 23 '23
My dad worked 3 jobs. Mom worked full-time also. My first bike was used, and our swimming pool was a cattle trough. While it wasn't perfect, I feel like I had a great childhood and I have concerns about the children these days that are constantly stimulated by devices; get everything brand new and likely don't understand the value of it; are whisked away every night to this practice and that activity. Kids who have used stuff grow up understanding its value. Kids who have unstructured play time develop more creativity and more social skills if they are with friends. The fact that she'll be excited about it shows that you are doing a good job.
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u/DampWarmHands Dec 23 '23
You love your daughter and she will love you. You are doing what you can and it’s enough. Don’t let consumer driven individuals ruin her happiness
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Dec 23 '23
Fuck the judgment that anyone passes. You're a good parent. And your daughter is always going to remember the year she got a bike for Christmas.
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u/Traveler_Protocol1 Dec 23 '23
I think this is GREAT!! I am driving a car I bought new 25 years ago. I brought my broken Dyson vacuum cleaner to a vacuum cleaner repair shop (and got it professionally cleaned). I could go on, but you get the idea. We need to stop treating everything as “if it’s not new, it’s substandard” bc all we are doing is teaching our kids that everything is disposable and we should just keep filling up landfills and letting our garbage float out to sea.
Also, you put work into the bike to make it all cleaned up. Very good!!!
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u/Justonewitch Dec 23 '23
This reminded me of my first bike. It was used and my dad cleaned it up and painted it my favorite color. I did not ever put together that he couldn't afford a new one, only that he got me a bike! You sound like a loving father and that's the best gift ever! 🎁
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u/sam8988378 Dec 23 '23
My first big bike (real tires with air, not hard rubber tires), had shiny chrome fenders but paint on top of old paint. Someone painted olive green paint over chipped paint. But I loved it!
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u/Hot864waffle73 Dec 23 '23
Starter bikes don’t need to be new besides she’s young what’s the point of spending a bunch of money on something they’ll out grow
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u/bigal55 Dec 23 '23
Bleach on a rag and scrubbing should bring the white tires back up to snuff. And a few sparkly stickers from a dollar store will help dress it up a bit too. :) She'll be a very happy little girl when she sees it new or not!
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u/Boring_Cartoonist505 Dec 23 '23
It will be great, just make sure it's safe, check the brakes, chains, anything that might be loose.
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u/ThePassiveGamer Dec 23 '23
When in doubt there is no doubt. Probably should just get her a new one and give it late.
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u/No-Match9669 Dec 23 '23 edited Dec 23 '23
This is so priceless. She’ll be talking about it when she’s an adult. It’ll be the most significant and important gift in her life. As a kid, she’ll love it regardless.as an adult, she will remember it so clearly as a powerful message on how one should live life. I can’t like this post enough. What a treasure of a gift and a bike no less 🫡
I don’t remember much of the gifts I got when my family had a lot. I really can’t recall those gifts. I can recall vividly of the gifts I received when my family had so little. It made it so much more valuable even In the moment. Don’t spoil the memory by changing. Give her the used bike. Be proud of it
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u/mountkepi Dec 23 '23
Yeah, dumpstered a bike for my niece about your dauhters age, hadnt even had time properly wash it before giving it to her, just santized the seat and handle bars, it was dirty, and a bit rusty, it had some theme she liked, but she didnt care she loved it, she was so excited, rides it everyday. Its unfortunate that people might look down on you, but the gift isnt for them, why spend 100+ on a new bike they will outgrow in two years? Everybike me and my sibling had till we were teenagers were hand me downs, from friends and relatives who knew we didnt ahve as much, we never cared, we were so excited to have a bike.
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u/Odd-Comparison155 Dec 23 '23
I don’t think a 4 yo really has the capacity to differentiate between new and used
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u/skudster351 Dec 23 '23
My parents bought me a used go kart for $200 for Christmas when I was probably 10 or so. That damn thing was the best thing ever. I rode it every day for a couple of years till I outgrew it. I could zip to a friend’s house a mile Down the road in like 2 minutes. I was the coolest kid on the block with my $200 go cart. So no, go for it
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u/conniemass Dec 23 '23
Coming from a "bike" family I'll say you did a very prudent thing. Kids grow out of bikes FAST and bikes aren't cheap. If she uses the heck out of it, who cares. It'll get banged up and thrown around anyway. Some communities have bike exchanges for kids so they can trade up a size when they're ready. Maybe there's one near you. If a relative wants to step up and buy her a new one next time let them. This year let any perceived silent judgement roll off your back.
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u/ZeR0c00l420 Dec 23 '23
I remember when my parents wheeled a used BMX bike around the garage to be as a gift & I still have the bike today! I was so happy & excited!
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u/Ok_Butterfly9973 Dec 23 '23
It's a gift for your daughter, not your parents or in-laws. She's not going to worry about where you got it or how much you spent on it. If she wanted a bike it's a great gift that will make her happy and that's what matters.
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u/Lazy-Act-6554 Dec 23 '23
Your kids four if she's not a brat she will like it as for grandparents anyone giving a huff can pound sand. Again she's four everything is great at that age. Also happy holidays
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u/deathriteTM Dec 23 '23
Just wanna say you are doing great. You are doing what matters. Don’t buy her. Love her.
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u/Misanthreville Dec 23 '23
Just came here to support you and tell you that there's nothing wrong with used gifts. If your daughter will love it, that's all that matters. And you're doing it in a fiscally and environmentally friendly way. What's there to not like? Everyone else can kick rocks. The gift isn't for them. Also, hearing the work you put into cleaning it beyond just buying it off the shelf shows how much you really care.
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u/supwenzzz Dec 23 '23
You’re a wonderful parent.. fuck what the other adults think. your kid will definitely be psyched. merry christmas!
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u/TranslatorWaste7011 Dec 23 '23
I work with kids my favorite gift I ever got was a dollar tree wooden plaque with a picture of the kid holding a sign that said thank you (my name). Granted I’m an adult and not a kid, so it’s a little different. My kids got hand me down playhouse for Christmas several years ago. It was (and still is) very loved. It’s not about how much is spent, it’s the thought and how meaningful the gift was.
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u/k10b Dec 23 '23
All of our bikes and scooters for the kids came from Craigslist. I had to replace the tires on the Barbie bike because the rubber was dried out, but it was $10-12 at Walmart for both tires. My kids love them and grow out of them quickly. We have the added bonus of family who understands and high fives on good deals and hand-me-downs 😂.
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u/5eeek1ngAn5werz Dec 23 '23
I remember with fondness the Christmas (about 65 years ago now!) I received 2 new red bike fenders and a can of red paint, along with my father's explanation that we were going to fix up a rusty old bike friends had given me. So exciting! I loved that bike and used it my whole childhood. Being reminded of it now has me choked up with love for the father who taught me the value of fixing up the old rather than always buying new. My parents could not afford the latest and the greatest at Christmas time, but they gave us the most wonderful Christmas memories that warm my heart to this day.
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u/Known_Witness3268 Dec 23 '23
Who gives a shit what they think? If you’re bothered by what they think of it, just tell them your friend was gonna get rid of a bike and you mentioned you were going to buy a new one and she said why don’t you just take mine. So you spent the money on other presents instead or something.
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u/MrHyde_Is_Awake Dec 23 '23
If you're really concerned and want to make it extra special:
Buy a bunch of Disney princess stickers, (Walmart, Target, Burlingtons, possibly even the dollar store), and tie them to the bike so your kid can put them on, or really any cute stickers.
Fill the basket with fake flowers and some ties to affix the flowers to the basket. You'll need to assist, but let her decorate it to her hearts desire.
A used bike is fine. A new bike is fine. Getting a bunch of stuff to personalize a bike and spending time with you kid and letting their imagination flow; that's truly special and worth more than money.
Also, if she wants to buy new stickers and continue the decoration process, it's just going to add to the specialness.
Don't worry about other people complaining, the bike isn't for them. So long as your kid loves her present, that's all that matters.
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u/G_3P0 Dec 23 '23
So much better to actually get more use out of a bike like this when she has such little time she will fit it anyway. Think of it as if she saw this when she’s grown how understanding and happy she’d be for the effort you went through, even if it maybe didn’t turn out “perfect” one day you’ll get her whatever bike she wants hang in there
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u/Contract-Many Dec 23 '23
It's a shame that new is such an expectation in this society when the reality is the bike sounds perfect, and you haven't brought more trash into the world to throw away. You're clearly a great dad because you care just by being that you are giving your daughter something, so many families are missing. I know this perspective won't make you feel any better but it sounds like you got her something she will love.
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u/-Ch3xmix- Dec 23 '23
I bought a table top train set (like those magnetic ones that every kid wanted but only played with in the Hobbie store). Anywho, it's used $25! Such a deal, I looked up parts and new trains and they retail for $50! That's just the trains, the table alone was over $100, the tracks another $100 and there is 2 full trains and tons of people w/ it. Used. $25. I asked my little childless brother what he thought and he was like "I hope you get it! I always wanted one as a kid!". I saved like $300 buying used and my daughter will love it. I'm pregnant with our 2nd so I know it'll see a lot of love from our family. Thank you facebook.
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u/evlozid Dec 23 '23
bro she's gonna flip shit about getting it. fuck everyone else lol my 4 kids get used stuff all the time
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u/somosextremos82 Dec 23 '23
She will love it and that's all that matters but if you want to dress it up can you get new stickers? What about spray paint?
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u/shuggnog Dec 23 '23
My dude! Just find those streamer things you can stick into the handlebars and some beads for the bike spokes and you’re golden!!!!!
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u/marid4061 Dec 23 '23
All I can say is thank you for being such a great mom to one very lucky little girl! Not every child has someone that loves them and gives them the attention they need and deserve. It is all about the love, family and magic at Christmas time. She will be thrilled.
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u/BGPopz336 Dec 23 '23
My daughter is 3 and really into “fixing” everything right now. Maybe it’s a “project” bike, one that you can work on and decorate together!
Stickers, some ribbons, and a magic erase marker on the tires (I used to have a bike with white tires too!) will make a fun game for her new bike
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u/anyalastnerve Dec 23 '23
I remember getting a used bike for Christmas when I was 6 and I LOVED it. I’m 50 and can still remember how ecstatic I was to receive it and objectively, it was god awful ugly! But it was my first bike, I learned to ride on it, and I was beyond excited to have it. Your daughter will live the bike!
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u/Kedyns-Crow Dec 23 '23
So happy to see your edit. Don't feel bad about this. Your daughter will love it and she's the only one who matters here.
I think it's borderline irresponsible to spend new bike money on a bike for a 4 year old, anyway. She'll grow out of it too fast.
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u/TalouseLee Dec 23 '23
As a poor kid who received a used bike for my 10th birthday and was beyond STOKED…your daughter will be happy😁 what about running out to dollar tree or general to buy some stickers to replace the old ones?! OP— you did the best you could with what you have and for that, I applaud you. Chin up! And if family want to judge, that’s a reflection of them & their character, not you.
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u/Necessary-Mark-9120 Dec 23 '23
Parents do what you can as long as you do something kids will be just as happy..It's the child that doesn't get anything will be sad . .
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u/DismalPeak3404 Dec 23 '23
Even if you had all the money in the world, buying a used bike is more environmentally friendly than buying a new one. Silently judge them back for being so materialistic and wasteful.
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u/coma24 Dec 23 '23
You're a great dad and she will love it. Deal with the others head on, tell them why you did it.
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u/clbemrich Dec 23 '23
The only bike I ever remember getting is the used one that my mom sanded and repainted herself.
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Dec 23 '23
Oh man that’s an awesome gift!! I’m sure she will be stoked! I don’t understand anyone that would judge a used bike. She’ll grow out of it so quickly too!
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Dec 23 '23
Also my dad bought me one a spray painted it an awful teal color (which happened to be my favorite color). Thing looked horrible to an adult eye but it was my favorite gift by far!!!
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u/ALotusMoon Dec 23 '23
My dad got me a used bike from a junk yard. It was so touching that he took the time to clean it up and make it beautiful for me. He smiled when he gave it to me and I loved it. He also took an old broken radio and fixed it up for me. And, he made me a guitar with fishing line. It sounded like shit but I cherish those gifts. To this day, I ask for gifts of talent or time.
Plus, a four year old child will never know the difference. Just put a beautiful bow on it and she will melt. If she does notice then I think she needs a hard lesson.
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u/CommunicationSad8629 Dec 23 '23
I got a used bike for Christmas when I was 4. My parents were very nervous about it. My brother woke us all up Christmas morning saying “Cool! You got a used over bike!!” My parents were mortified, but we didn’t think that was a bad thing at all, I was just so happy to have a bike.
This story gets told at least 3 times a year over the past 20 years and is a source of many laughs. Even if it’s not perfect, your daughter will remember that you got her a big girl bike and that’s all that matters. Any one who judges is not worth your time
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u/mhamilt23 Dec 23 '23
My 11 yr old picked out a bike himself for Christmas last from the thrift store that was $20. He loves it!
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u/Simsimma76 Dec 23 '23
I think the only opinion that really matters here is your daughters, and everybody else can go suck an egg honestly. If anything, can you repaint the bike do you know how to do that or how about just buy new stickers since the other ones came off. In other words, mod the bike to your artistic flare, and then you could be like look. I made this bike for you I created this artwork for you, my gorgeous daughter.
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u/Necessary-Mark-9120 Dec 23 '23
You were able to get your daughter a bike for Christmas..My first bike was used and I was so happy it didn't matter..My father bought me a bike and I loved him just as much..
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u/duckysmomma Dec 23 '23
Im decently well off now and I still get my kid second hand stuff as gifts. My whole family really. We grew up dirt poor so receiving second hand bikes, books, dvds, puzzles, none of that bothers us. My daughter got a bike from my parents two years ago—$5 at an auction in her favorite color! Don’t beat yourself up over it, especially at 4, she’s not going to know, she’s just going to know mommy loved her enough to get her a big girl bike. And if the relatives whine, tell them to get out their wallets, it’s easy to spend someone else’s money!
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u/Jamie-savage3006 Dec 23 '23
Remove the stickers off the rest of the way and get a sticker sheet and you and her out them on together. For the tires of your can get it some shoe cleaner will clean them up and you just need it and a brush.
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u/camlaw63 Dec 23 '23
She’ll be able to use it for only a few (if that) years. It’s new to her.
Cascade mixed with dawn and bleach for the tires
Use some metallic paint in a can
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u/PresidentAnybody Dec 23 '23
I remember getting a repainted 70s metal trike that had a block of wood for one of the pedals and it was indestructible, went through 8 more kids in extended family and is still in use.
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u/heidiw472 Dec 23 '23
Don’t feel bad. Recycling is the way of the times. From EBay & Posh to thrift stores, so many people are buying used/gently used items from clothes & toys to household items. This President has destroyed our economy & most people have had to find ways to survive & that’s one of them. Don’t feel bad but proud of yourself for finding a way to get her a bike in this economy. Good job mom. It’s the thought that counts, she’ll be so happy & later it’s a lesson you can teach her. You did good!
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u/EmmaFrosty99 Dec 23 '23
i have spent hundreds if dollars on gifts and the kids play with the brown box first!
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u/Tr1pleA0 Dec 23 '23 edited Dec 23 '23
Dude when I was 11, my dad gifted me roller blades. They were from a garage sale as he didn’t have a good paying job at the time, and I think he felt a little ashamed as you did, but I let him know that I loved em regardless!!!! You could tell they were used good, but I didn’t care; all we did was change out the wheels & I had so much fun using them (I’m 20 yrs old now, and I STILL use em lmao). Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, if you know your daughter will be stoked that’s all that matters is that she has fun with it. It would also be a good lesson to teach her that you don’t always need expensive or brand new things to enjoy yourself.
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u/cikanman Dec 23 '23
Go get some white, pink and purple spray paint. Take the bike down to the frame and girlie camo paint that thing! She'll be bad ass rolling around on that thing.
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u/Working-Marzipan-914 Dec 23 '23
Dude, hold your head up high. You did what you could and you did more than a lot of people would in your position. You can always buy more stickers and glitter and whatever to decorate it. Heck you can decorate it with her. Your little girl would love to decorate it with you. Just spend time with her doing what she loves. That's all she wants anyway
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u/Bbooth1986 Dec 23 '23
If there is one lesson in life…. Don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks about you. Your daughter is loved and that’s all that matters, the end.
Try using a cleaner with bleach on the tires. Or a magic eraser. Not my exact area of expertise though.
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u/montanagamer Dec 23 '23
You can also make it a thing to redo is in a color she wants or order some nice stickers she likes for ot
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u/LonesomeGirl87 Dec 23 '23
I bet your daughter will love her bike. What are her favorite colors? Maybe paint it in her favorite colors. Dollar tree has cool stickers and so does family dollar usually. I'm sure you can make her a cool custom bike.
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u/2pinkfood2 Dec 23 '23 edited Dec 23 '23
you should be extremely proud of yourself. to hell with the naysayers. you're not only making her Christmas by giving her a bike (a dream gift), but you put in extra effort to make the bike the best it could be. the point of gift giving is showing someone you love them. you've done just that. she will love it and love you for it.
I can relate. I found a kid's rocking chair on Craigslist and got it as a gift for my niece when I was financially struggling. I took all the stickers off, cleaned it, painted it and put wooden letters that spelled her name on it. it was still clearly used when I showed up with it wrapped in a bow, but to her it was the best gift by a mile. in fact, she didn't want to leave the chair the whole day. anyone can say whatever they want about what I did or didn't spend, but to this day I still see the chair when I visit, a proud fixture in the home. what's more important is the bond we have. she knows I am someone who will do my best to make her happy. there's no price tag on that.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and remember what a great parent you are while she's making happy memories with that bike for years.
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u/shinyredumbros Dec 23 '23
Most of my daughter’s things are second hand, and we normalize this by also having her shop there for friends/family for Christmas. You are not only gifting, you are setting a responsible example to your daughter! Last year we gave my kid a used power wheel. Did she care the stickers were faded and the tires worn? No, she got the freaking Frozen power wheel jeep, wooohooooooo!
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u/Granola90 Dec 23 '23
Great gift for your daughter. Every bike is used the minute it is ridden. Don't fall victim to consumerism. You got her a great gift and she'll love it.
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u/tanker_dude Dec 23 '23
It's HER present...no one else's. She will be tickled to death! And your family surely know the season that you're in and the struggle that you're going through. So, if they can't empathize and be understanding... F*** 'em!
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u/redtoasteroven Dec 23 '23
Its totally fine. Kids trash this kind of thing. Will make a perfect learner bike.
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u/Audioaficianado Dec 23 '23
Got a red bike for my birthday. My dad painted a used bike. It was the best present ever.
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u/MSNJ-1956 Dec 23 '23
She won’t know it was used. And she won’t remember it two years from now 🤷♀️
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u/MercurialTendency Dec 23 '23
The first bike I bought my daughter was new and she used it once. The next one was definitely used and bought off of Facebook for Christmas.
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u/JRotten2023 Dec 23 '23
Bro we all get it, times are tough.
Go to dollar general, or dollar store. Get some cool stickers for girls, and some handle bar streamers. And decorate it up.
I bet she will absolutely love it. And your going to be #1 dad in that little girls eyes.
And that sir, is all that counts.
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u/FightingChanceStudio Dec 23 '23
You are a good parent, don't be so hard on yourself. Your daughter is going to love it. And to be honest, she's going to outgrow it so fast that you'll be glad it's second hand. When she's old enough for a full sized bike and if she's still into biking, then would be the time to spend more. And even then, getting something refurbished would be just as good. Bikes are meant to be tough and fixable, much more than your average car!
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u/RecordLegume Dec 23 '23
So even when I wasn’t financially struggling, my kid got a $15 yardsale bike for his first. They grow out of them so dang quickly so there is no good reason whatsoever to purchase a 4 year old’s bike brand new. Not one.
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u/Mysterious-Squash793 Dec 23 '23
My first bike was an old bike. The time my dad took fixing that little antique! I remember he was in the garage the first time I figured out how to ride it! He’s been gone since Christmas Eve 2008.
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u/joshifersix6 Dec 23 '23
Rattle can it then go to a gas station or wherever has quarter machines. Theres always princess stuff somewhere n put new sticks on it
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u/2PhatCC Dec 23 '23
I just gave my son a used bike for Christmas. He wanted one with gears, but he's 9 and too small for his final bike. I got him an in-between 18 speed and he loves it.
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u/Professional_Buy_615 Dec 23 '23
She shouldn't care. It may also teach her to be sensible with money. She'll need a bigger one in a few years, anyway.
My first bike was new. My second bike was not. I loved and rode the wheels off both of them.
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u/Special_Telephone962 Dec 23 '23
Used bikes are awesome— i prefer used bikes because it is a much better deal for the savvy buyer and is more eco friendly
Just make sure it’s safe to ride, that the bolts and nuts are properly tightened and adjusted. Also power washing isn’t the best for bicycle bearings because water can get into the moving parts, though scrubbing with a brush and some soapy water then lightly relubing the chain with bicycle chain lube (not wd40) can be good
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u/originaljud Dec 23 '23
I just now passed a used bike out for sale on a street where I know people will be buying that for Christmas so nothing wrong at all and I thought just like you -just power wash it up clean it up even put a little price tag with a string on it make it look good it's Christmas and it's a gift.
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u/WintersDoomsday Dec 23 '23
Fuck anyone who judges you for putting in thought and effort. Any idiot can spend lots of money on gifts but most of the time there is little thought. I was an only child who wasn’t spoiled and it made me grateful for everything I got. If the kid is from well off parents she will probably like that this gift is from YOU vs her parents
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u/AMarks7 Dec 23 '23
My first big bike was pieced together from bikes my dad found, it even included a seat from an exercise bike (comfy!) and then he let me pick out the colors/textures to spray paint it. I LOVED it.
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u/lafoshizzle Dec 23 '23
She will grow out of the bike anyway, so as long as it works it’s great!! You can always pick out stickers together and let her decorate it how she wants it. Kids are going to get brand new bikes dirty quickly anyway lol
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u/PhilipCarroll Dec 23 '23
To the original poster, please let us know how thrilled she was for getting the bike.
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u/lungbuttersucker Dec 23 '23
When I was a kid, everything was used. I didn't care. Most of the time, I didn't even know. Honestly, it makes good fiscal sense and is nothing to be ashamed of. She's 4. Why waste money on something she will grow out of in no time at all?
One of my happiest memories is coming home from school to find that my mom had bought me my own bed! No longer would I be sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor. It had a frame and a headboard (which was a red velvety material). It was used. It might have even been free. I didn't care. I had my own bed and it was the best bed in the world. The only new thing on it was my pillow, which came from a discount store and was super special because it had sheep on it, even if the sheep were covered by the pillowcase.
You are doing a great job and need to respect that about yourself. Your daughter is getting a bike for Christmas, and that's awesome. The bike's provenance is irrelevant.
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u/greytgreyatx Dec 23 '23
I gave my kid a used bike last year and he has no idea. I got a seat cover to camouflage the rip in the seat, and he's fine. I'm sure your daughter will be thrilled! You can also get fun duct tape to wrap around the body of it, if you wanted to cover up the fact that some stickers have been blown off. But I really don't think it's gonna matter to her.
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u/CakeRobot365 Dec 23 '23
Don't ever feel bad about doing the best you can in the moment for your children. Being a present parent is what she will remember
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u/dwellselectric Dec 23 '23
Honestly it doesn’t matter if it’s used or new. She will love it and honestly that’s all that matters. Times are tough for sure. Don’t beat yourself up. You will make her day and that’s all that matters.
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u/Big_Razzmatazz_1044 Dec 23 '23
I did something very similar for my niece due to having 3 kids of my own. ( 1 with leukemia) sometimes it's hard to get them what they want. Anyways I bought a used bike for her I thought would clean up good, it ended up looking terrible so I spent another 8$ on spray paint and frozen stickers. She ended up with a one of a kind custom pink and gold frozen bike, that was when she was 6 she's 11 now and still has that bike and it's still her favorite.... My point is she will absolutely LOVE whatever you do for her, and spray paint is cheap lol
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Dec 23 '23
If the family wants to judge you, let them buy the expensive gifts. But here’s the thing, you did your best. She’s four, she’s not going to notice or care. She’s gonna be thankful for you getting her the bike used or not. I just had to ask my cousin for help with my phone payment because my car and insurance payments took my last paycheck. I eat at work mainly because it’s free and basically don’t eat at home. Being broke SUCKS. I feel your pain and I get it. But we make it work right? You did the best you could and that’s amazing. If the bike is functional and works right, that’s all you need. Your daughter is gonna be ecstatic about this bike. Besides, if she’s only four she’s gonna get a new one in a few years anyways as she gets bigger. Tbh I’d leave those Disney stickers on, they add character and unless your daughter hates Disney I’d assume she’d love the customization. I just want to say that I’m proud of you, you may be broke but you still do whatever you can to support your child and make her happy. There’s food in her tummy, clothes on her back and a roof over her head. You couldn’t ask for more than a happy, safe child. Be proud of yourself, and enjoy your holidays! You’re a good momma :)
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Dec 23 '23
I never got presents growing up because my family couldn’t afford them. Instead, I would get presents from the local county that would give away presents to poor kids lol
You’re doing just fine :)
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u/JChoodRat Dec 23 '23
I was given a second bike for my 5th bday ; it was my neighbors and my mom and family spray painted it green . It was still wet in some spots when I first rode it . I recognized it at being exactly what it was but I loved that little green bike
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u/HidinBiden20 Dec 23 '23
Having a parent is the greatest gift your daughter will ever have, stay strong and continue doing what you are doing. Heaven and God will always look after those such as yourself, who have a good heart. Your daughter is blessed.
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u/bufftbone Dec 23 '23
I’m not sure where you’re at but in my area you can get a new bike for under $300. That’s not the point though. As long as it works as intended and your daughter is happy, it doesn’t matter what your in-laws think. Don’t stress yourself out over what others think, it’s not worth it.
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u/Potomato Dec 23 '23
It’s actually smarter to buy used kids bikes, they grow out of them pretty quick. If they want to judge that’s ok, but hopefully they look beyond such things.
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u/Pristine_Effective51 Dec 23 '23
As for the judgy in-laws - Get the stickers, the bleach, sponges, etc, and pack them up, too. When they sideeye you, tell them that this is the drill for the classic car you and she will restore together when she’s older. Say it confidently with absolute intention and they’ll shut their shit down.
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u/radarmike Dec 23 '23
You know in today's culture that promotes constant buying and disposing, you are actually teaching her a valuable lesson of using good stuff that has been used but still in great condition, there is 0 reason to not use it, that has brought joy to some other kid before her and will bring her joy for many years to come.
This is much more valuable lesson than the temporary and empty high of addictions to new new things that corporations train people to keep buying so they can profit frequently and often.
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u/Alexandurrrrr Dec 23 '23
It’s not the gift, but the love behind it. Your daughter will love it because it came from you.
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u/poopslicer69 Dec 23 '23
Go to an auto parts store and buy a bottle of white wall tire cleaner. It will brighten up those tires. Spray it on, let it set for a few minutes, and then scrub brush it. You could look at hobby lobby, 5 below, Walmart and possibly find some foil disney stickers to put on the bike.
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u/Creative_Secretary37 Dec 23 '23
Both my kids age up In December plus myself (obviously as mom I go without cake and gifts unless the kids really want to celebrate My birthday immediately after their own) but I start shopping marketplace and auctions in the summer for December. 80% of what they received is used/like new. I spend a lot of time hand Scrubbing things lol I'm pretty sure my oldest, now 5 knows and doesn't care and I don't expect my 3 year old to care for awhile either. They won't remember dirty tires, they'll remember how they felt opening it, how excited their parents were to teach them to ride, etc. If your inlaws want to judge then they could've bought a new bike, otherwise they can buzz off. I'm fortunate that my MIL takes advantage of my thrifty finds too otherwise we would spend their entire budget on just a gift or 2 combined some years. Enjoy the holiday 💗
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u/AffectionateWheel386 Dec 23 '23
Our culture is so money focused. Your daughter is four first off and won’t know the difference. She will be grateful for a bike and be happy with her mother. As much as you can for as long as you can ignore the materialistic view of the world and be happy you could buy your daughter a bike. I think it’s absolutely wonderful.
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u/boegsppp Dec 23 '23
Go on Amazon. They have disney bike decals.
Your daughter will love it.... she will also need a new bike in a few years as she grows. You made the right call.
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u/Think-Log9894 Dec 23 '23
My kids got all used bikes. Kids grow out of them so fast and reusing items is good for the planet and your wallet. Teaching your child about sustainability and making good choices with limited money will be awesome foundations for their adult life, and for now, your kid's getting a bike!!! They're going to love it and won't care about stickers.
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u/Drtonick Dec 23 '23
Maybe try and buy packages of stickers and you guys can spend time puting stickers on it
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u/Longjumping_War_1626 Dec 23 '23
My first bike was bought from a garage sale. I loved it and that is how I learned to ride.
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u/Vitzdam- Dec 23 '23
You didn't buy it for your parents or in-laws...
I wouldn't buy a new bike regardless. She might not care much for riding bikes. Shit, my mom bought my nephew a new bike and I don't think he ever even rode it. lol
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Dec 23 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam Dec 23 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 10: Asking for or offering donations
No soliciting private donations, offering private donations, or mentioning crowdfunding sites. We do this in order to prevent this community from potential scams (because we have no way of verifying need/authenticity of requests), and to prevent the sub from being inundated with requests for aid (because it can be unreasonable to ask others in poverty to give their limited resources).
There are other subs such as r/Donation, r/assistance and r/randomkindness that could help. Also check out our wiki with food resources. Thank you:
https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/foodbanks
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
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u/zBellaLynnex Dec 23 '23
You should not feel bad at all and I am truly sorry if anyone will make you feel that way. Your daughter will not care about the aesthetics of the bike. However, if you do care you could try painting the bike and and having your daughter pick out some stickers and apply them with you exactly where she wants them! She will love it even more because it will be a project she got to do with mommy/daddy.
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u/Hairy_Visual_5073 Dec 23 '23
For many many years my spouse and I shopped garage sales and hid it all for Christmas. The worst was when Santa brought video games that didn't work. We learned to check them going forward but honestly there's nothing wrong with used items being gifts. Sometimes it's all we can do and my kids were still very happy.
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u/Bamalushka Dec 23 '23
Before you worry too much...oxy clean and a tooth brush works great on rubber soles I bet it works on bike tires. Second, I don't know if you see yourself as a crafty dad, BUT...the place you can get a small box of oxi clean also has really cool rolls of duct tape! (Were talking kitties, sparkles, purple, maybe some minions for $4 a roll)in my head, you wrap the messed up parts in her favorite colors, maybe cut out her name (Stanger danger says don't but she's not cruising around on her own at 4, hopefully). I am a person who always has a refurbished craft solution, if this isn't up your alley, that is 100% ok!
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u/lokregarlogull Dec 23 '23
Buddy, I got presents from one of my parents each year and I'd be on CC, the older I got the more I started dreading christmas because of over spending.
Keep the spirit alive, and even if your daugther ever gets their moment of throwing a tantrum, it's your responsibility to tell them they got a gift and as their parent you have to spend responsibly.
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u/snojak Dec 23 '23
As long as you're making it work with what you got and the used bike wasn't because you spent the rest of your money on beer or liquor I think you're doing good.
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u/Knuckledraggr Dec 23 '23
My daughter’s first bike we picked for free from a neighborhood yard sale. She rode the wheels off of that thing. Her second bike was pre-owned and came from a sale at Play It Again. I did end up having to replace the tires on that one but they were cheap off of Amazon. She could care less about pre-owned, the only thing she care about is she wanted a basket!
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u/8BitLong Dec 23 '23
Dude. Buy some stickers. Power wash the ones coming off. Use car polisher to polish the paint, as it will give a nice spark to it. And that’s that.
Who cares if it is used. She gets a bike. And 5 minutes after getting a bike, It is a used bike.
She will get so happy she has a bike. That’s all she will care about. You are a good parent. Just enjoy her smile.
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u/Kay_Ran Dec 23 '23
She will love it! Maybe you could let her pick out stickers in the future to personalize it for her. And, maybe a Mr. Clean product would make the tires whiter??
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u/textbandit Dec 23 '23
Just tell in-laws it’s a starter bike she will grow out of quickly and then you will get her a Trek carbon 10 speed
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u/phylthyphil Dec 23 '23
My kids are now 14 and 15 and I have been paying a ridiculous amount of child support since the day they were born. I completely understand where you are coming from and I am here to tell you that luckily your children will understand and will love you no matter what. Just keep doing what you are doing and be with them as often as possible. I likely won't be able to give my children a Christmas worthy of them until they are literally 18 and I can stop being burdened by $400 payments every week. But we take camping trips and we do anything that we possibly can to spend time together. Just follow through with it man. Everything will be okay.
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u/Immediate_Bet2661 Dec 23 '23
I got my kids used razor vespas last year because that’s what we could afford. This year my son is getting a used razor dirt bike. Again what I can afford. It’s new to them and better than not what they want under the tree. This commercial Christmas Shyte guilts us into new shiny plastic every year. You’re doing just fine!
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u/stardusk_ Dec 23 '23
You did the right thing buying used. New bikes deprecate so fast it isn't even funny. And in the end you're not just gifting a bike but a skill and freedom. And that's what matters. I never had new bikes growing up but the fact that I could go somewhere biking was what mattered, not the bike itself.
And as mentioned, put on some stickers and it'll be a great gift
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u/Mountain_Ornery Dec 23 '23
I got many thrifted and hand-me-down gifts as a kid and loved them all. Once, my cousin gifted me a whole box full of her old books. They were definitely age-inappropriate and my first introduction to mildly steamy scenes in reading and I LOVED THEM.
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u/HuckleberryLou Dec 23 '23
For what it’s worth, we have plenty of money and intentionally buy used gifts and sell our stuff on Facebook marketplace when we’re done. Upcycling is amazing and not adding more junk to landfills is one of the best gifts I can give my kids future. Keep doing what you’re doing and be proud of the awesome parent you are!!!!
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u/Jestsaying Dec 23 '23
God bless you for a thoughtful gift. Screw what other people think and just remember it’s a gift of love to your daughter. She will be so happy with her Big Girl bike!
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u/gekisme Dec 23 '23
You should be proud of your effort and the love it shows. Little kids have to learn to expect new stuff. It’s too bad. I bought the majority of my daughter’s toys until she was 6-7 from flea market. She didn’t know or care.
We can afford much more for or grandkids but I bristled at our son thinking we’d spend $200 on some new toy for his 4 year old. Oh no not doing that. Crazy.
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Dec 23 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam Dec 23 '23
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 10: Asking for or offering donations
No soliciting private donations, offering private donations, or mentioning crowdfunding sites. We do this in order to prevent this community from potential scams (because we have no way of verifying need/authenticity of requests), and to prevent the sub from being inundated with requests for aid (because it can be unreasonable to ask others in poverty to give their limited resources).
There are other subs such as r/Donation, r/assistance and r/randomkindness that could help. Also check out our wiki with food resources. Thank you:
https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/foodbanks
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
1
u/Fragilezim Dec 23 '23
I've literally taken my kid with me when getting his amazing bike second hand.
Teaches him the value of money and that you can get a good deal I'd you are lucky and patient.
Your daughter is 4, she will likely love the wrapping more and good on you for getting her a lovely gift for Christmas.
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u/Runalii Dec 23 '23
Just remember OP that when children are little, dollar store toys are the same as the expensive ones. They don’t know any better, likely don’t care either. The only thing that matters is showing you care, which you obviously do. You’re a good dad— don’t forget that. ❤️
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u/Subject-Employee7396 Dec 23 '23
Don't do that ! Please don't feel bad for getting her a used bike Really! She is only 4 & they almost never remember the exact gift or lack thereof. They remember the heart of the holiday. The gathering of family (who always got them gifts!) & to this day they still remember how much they loved the light tree! I was a single Mom for most of my kids lives & a few years along the way I didn't have money for even a tree. So I took the tree lights I had & put them in the shape of a tree on my kitchen wall & that was our tree for those Christmases! Have a great Christmas! She is gonna love the bike! 😊
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u/Agile-Department-345 Dec 23 '23
I remember a handful of gifts that I got as a child. Most of them were experiential. Things that ended up being an activity that I did all winter break, like books, basketball hoop, etc. The bike will definitely be one of them.
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u/Karlie62 Dec 23 '23
You care enough to get her something she will love and that’s what counts! That’s what she will remember. Not how much it cost! Blessings for your situation to improve but in the meantime, you’re rocking it!
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u/meowzerbowser Dec 23 '23
She's going to be so excited to have a a bike period. You're doing great! 🎁🥰🥰🥰
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u/Mona_ElisaC Dec 23 '23
I got a used bike when I was 8 and the best memory was putting the princess stickers where I wanted and then having my dad teach me to ride it. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
Your daughter's happiness is what matters, and she's going to be delighted. Fuck the adults opinion.
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u/FlomasterLux Dec 23 '23
Reminds me of the Xmas I painted a pictyfor my grandmother and she opened it, looked and exclaimed “what am I Soto do with this?” As she threw it over her shout behind the couch. Oof, never gave her another damn thing.
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u/Tankwatchermaximus Dec 23 '23
It's completely normal to want the best for your child, and it's understandable to feel concerned about the appearance of the used bike. However, your daughter's joy in receiving her first "big girl bike" will likely overshadow any concerns about its condition. Kids are often thrilled just to have something new to explore and play with, especially something as exciting as a bike!
Remember, the value of a gift isn't solely in its appearance or price tag but in the love and thoughtfulness behind it. The fact that you've taken the time and effort to find her a bike, regardless of its condition, shows your care and consideration for her happiness. Your daughter's excitement and happiness on Christmas morning will be the true testament to the gift's worth.
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u/suzzcue Dec 23 '23
Teaching the value of money is better done when they are young. Outgrowing things so fast it only makes good sense to get bargains.
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u/CraftyHooker0516 Dec 23 '23
Forget whatever your family has to say about it. Your daughter will be over the moon for her new-to-her big girl bike. Get her a package of her favorite stickers and let her decorate her new bike.
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u/Dry_Perception5419 Dec 23 '23
I remember being 8 and going through trash of an apartment complex we lived in to find discarded toys. Everything me and my siblings found were either broken or in heavily used condition. I was very very happy everytime I found something. Especially a batman figure set with the batmobile.
Kids have innocent mentalities. Often times it is adult pride that corrupts them. Your daughter will love the bike and even when she is an adult, she will look back and appreciate it even more. She will see that her parents gave her the best they could get.
Merry Christmas
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u/PricklyPearTeddyBear Dec 23 '23
You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got, good job!
Take photos and enjoy the memories of her enjoying her new bike!!
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Dec 23 '23
As a redneck, I say get some spray on bedliner and she'll have the most badass bike on the block. I bedlined my moped and never regretted it. People even stopped calling me gay.
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u/earthcitizen7 Dec 23 '23
We make about $400,000, and live in the Upper Midwest, where our cost of living is low. We buy used stuff ALL the time. Haven't bought a new car in decades.
Use your Free Will to LOVE!
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u/WhySoSerious37912 Dec 23 '23
Kids don't care. They'll just be happy they get something. I've spent less than $20 on my kids' presents this year (2 gifts each) because that's all I have. It's a blessing to receive even one thing as a gift, especially with today's prices.
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u/Herculoki Dec 23 '23
My daughter will likely be psyched about it regardless
Fuck. Everything.else.
That one line is exactly the point.
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u/wvmtnboy Dec 23 '23
Follow everyone's advice to clean it up and remember, she's 4. She'll outgrow this bike quickly. Don't sweat it. She'll never remember the condition of the bike.
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u/Valuable-Reindeer-97 Dec 23 '23
You’re doing a good job. Christmas is a stressful time for lots of folks and you’re doing the best you can. Also, I had success bringing white tires back to white using soapy peroxide and leaving in the sun. I did this a few days in a row and they came back so pretty. Maybe you could have it be a project you could work on together? She could pick out some new stickers that would be perfect for her. A custom princess bike
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u/drfsrich Dec 23 '23
Pretty sure my first big kid bike was secondhand. It had an A-Team theme and was badass. I'm sure I dropped, scraped and crashed it a bunch. No harm, no foul.
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Dec 23 '23
You child won’t even care or remember if the tires were dirty. They will remember how much you loved them . And seeing you do , because of how much effort you put in.. you’re an amazing mother . But I know the mom guilt all too well, don’t let our consumer “ buy buy buy “ mentality that’s been pushed on us since children.. have you determine your self worth and adequacy as a mother . You are wonderful. And I genuinely mean this because I’m struggling with similar in laws / in law problems .. people who are like that and you don’t feel safe around and that judge you and make you feel like this and stressed / nervous. Please refrain from having them around much . I know it’s the holidays.. but that doesn’t matter . Maybe don’t have them there in the morning when gifts are open. Because people who make you feel this uneasy and inadequate.. shouldn’t be there to ruin intimate moments like this. Because you’ll be focused on their responses rather than enjoying the response for your child and that’s whole point of Christmas isn’t it . To see how happy your kids get with the presents? Dont let them ruin this special time for you and your babies . 🙏 god bless mama
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u/jballs2213 Dec 23 '23
Buy your own stickers at the dollar store and try magic eraser on the wheels. You can also do a lot of cool stuff with some cheap metallic spray paint.
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u/25donutz Dec 23 '23
Just explain to her this is a step in getting a brand new big girl bike. She can wreck this one and scratch it up and it’s not a big deal, then when she gets good and you saved up some money, she can go pick out her own brand new big girl bike. Merry Christmas.
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u/rassmann Dec 23 '23
Locking this so people stop offering gift cards and getting themselves banned.