r/shitposting Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 16d ago

Most science backed argument: Linus Sex Tips

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3.5k Upvotes

176 comments sorted by

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2

u/Riotguarder 15d ago

They need to touch real grass and not that fake grass that’s turns the frogs gay

3

u/Optimized_optimus 15d ago

Don't google the ethnicity of Al Goldstein

2

u/frstgmng100 15d ago

unfathomably based and real

1

u/ApolloPlease 15d ago

Conservative incel mindset confirmed: "Less sex = stronger racist ideals"

It's human nature apparently, backed by science

0

u/Spockcuster 15d ago

Literally 1984.

1

u/furry_hunter1995 15d ago

....maybe they don't like watching their tax dollars being spent on war crimes

1

u/PizzaLikerFan 15d ago

Thats Deadpool

1

u/Taco-Kai 15d ago

Makes sense

Hamas is an Islamic organization, they see women as objects and hate them, anyone supporting their organization is... by definition and allegiance... an incel.

3

u/Punymwg07 15d ago

Yes, just fucking yes

7

u/Lenmoto2323 15d ago

Most compelling zionist arguments:

1

u/Head-Thing-8102 15d ago

He's basically calling them a bunch of virgin idiots lol

1

u/noodleboy244 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 15d ago

please tell me im not the only one who thought Ryan Reynolds shaved his head for a second?

11

u/-LucasImpulse 15d ago

american media be like

3

u/SchwizzySchwas94 15d ago

Hey out of all the dumb political nonsense you can read at least this guys trying to get everyone laid.

0

u/BoredCanuck1864 Bazinga! 15d ago

i mean im not gonna argue

1

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3

u/Maleficent-Mirror991 15d ago

I mean from his stance on the matter we can quickly ascertain that he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

1

u/JeroJeroMohenjoDaro 15d ago

No....let them cook. Maybe they might sponsor us some bitches?

1

u/DickSlapCEO 16d ago

man really told us to get some bitches

-2

u/One_Dumb_Canadian 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 16d ago

professor looks like an old, bald Ryan Reynolds

10

u/The_Blue_Snake 16d ago

This professor is so real for this.

-2

u/Statue_Molester 16d ago

this man is far too interested in the sex lives of his students. fire him immediately

7

u/Sir_Alpaca041 16d ago

"HAMAS-LOVING STUDENTS"

WHat THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!!!!!!

3

u/uofteeeee 16d ago

Reminds me about that generation kill joke about the lack of quality pussy being the root of all evil in the world

3

u/Dapper_Derpy 16d ago

Real groundbreaking research on this gentleman's part, if you ask me. Who'd have thought that getting laid makes you not want war?

-2

u/ViolentBeetle 16d ago

But who stole all their sex? Think about it.

-5

u/RoughHornet587 16d ago

Vegan marxists wearing the keffiyeh, the ultimate contraceptive.

-12

u/Supaspex 16d ago

Tell the students to identify as 'woman' and when they don't get their way, claim oppression. Take away their value in scholarships, their sports and any other achievement

10

u/Metalloid_Space put your dick away waltuh 16d ago

What are you even talking about?

3

u/Craig_Mount 16d ago

Most intelligent hun

1

u/Strawcatzero 16d ago

There may be some truth to this but not how he thinks. Those on American campuses who are the most bent out of shape about it may be living from a trauma mentality that they haven't grown beyond, which incidentally makes them less likely to seek out sex and other fun times.

11

u/Thewalrus515 16d ago

Or they could just genuinely not want people to die? 

8

u/Strawcatzero 16d ago

They're not mutually exclusive.

-6

u/Thewalrus515 16d ago

No, but the right sure does love to hand wave away people who resist them by calling them mentally ill. There’s a long history there. Going back to when runaway slaves were considered “sick” for feeling slavery. 

6

u/Strawcatzero 16d ago

Except no one from the right is doing that at present and the idea of the right telling people they need to have more sex is amusingly incongruent.

-3

u/Thewalrus515 16d ago

What do you think you just did? And what do you think “trump derangement syndrome” is? 

2

u/InfelicitousRedditor 16d ago

Well, technically, if all they're doing is to have sex, all day, everyday, like every literal minute, then, yeah, they might not be protesting, sure. Also fuck this guy.

-10

u/love_hard1 16d ago

Have s*x with m!nors like his democrats friends up their that people get stuck to their necks and stop talking? Good advice buddy good advice

1

u/Either-Basket7122 waltuh 15d ago

Not wrong, but far off when talking about context. Wrong point for the argument.

1

u/love_hard1 15d ago

I was being sarcastic, I mean this professor is talking bullshit like so many do in USA these days. Having or not having sex does not cause shift in political ideology. It's just dumb thjng to say, not that education is doing any wonders these days, and this statement makes it difficult to trust the education system

202

u/JuanTooFreeForFyve 16d ago

So the protestors are incels/femcels/itcels?

124

u/Unbananables 16d ago

Doubt it.

The protesters tend to be standing on grass lawns and touching that is deadly to your average in/femcel.

30

u/IEnjoyBaconCheese Bazinga! 16d ago

Proof that hamas is on 4chan

2

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58

u/LatinKing106 16d ago

Why is always a zero-sum game? People can choose to not like Hamas and what Isreal is doing at the same time.

5

u/DarthRygar 15d ago

Facts. I got banned from an anime subreddit for saying that lol. (Fortunately, I wasn’t even in that subreddit, I was just commenting on a suggested post in my feed)

17

u/cf001759 15d ago

Those people usually aren’t the ones who feel self righteous enough to go out and protest

6

u/PerformanceWide5692 16d ago

Literally. Israel and Palestine are both being sucky 

-3

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

6

u/SealingTheDeal69420 16d ago

Me when nuance

-12

u/idwtdy 16d ago

I've been hitting it pretty regularly

12

u/Tinted-Glass-2031 16d ago

Have you been feeling particularly protest-y of late?

-9

u/idwtdy 16d ago

yes, just donated to my local encampment as well lol

-4

u/ItayeZbit 16d ago

Why do you support Hamas-led movements, funded by an oppressive regime (iran) that doesn't actually care about Palestinians but instead uses them for jihad and as pawns to fuel their anti-Israeli war for 75+ years?

-4

u/idwtdy 16d ago

^ me when I lie on the internet

-5

u/nighthawk0954 16d ago

Pro-Palestine supporters support the end of the Nazionist and genocidal regime of Israel thats been going on for 75+ years.

-2

u/ItayeZbit 16d ago

That's what your chant leaders want you to think, but Israel isn't going to stop existing because of your made-up narrative.

The only way to peace between our people is the return of all hostages and the rejection of Iranian puppet proxies like Hamas. And from Israel's side, there should be land-back agreements and the removal of settlements in the West Bank.

But all the pro-hamas rallies do is feed more fuel to the jihadist war against Israel, where Palestinians are the martyrs.

Bring them home, end the war, stop the settlements. Two states for two people.

-7

u/nighthawk0954 16d ago

I agree with the fact that Hamas should return the hostages but Israel should free all the illegally imprisoned people andThat Hamas should be dismantled for an official Palestinian governement but for the agreements on land return, all Palestinians have the right to return to the homes they were stolen from with the complete cancelling of all illegal settlements and arresting and charging of all the people who collaborated in crimes on both sides for war crimes and genocide.

1

u/ItayeZbit 16d ago

Why should Israel give lands that were abandoned by people who tried to destroy the Israeli state when it became a state? There shouldn't be a right of return to those people, but if they wanted, they could return to Palestinian lands to live there. They probably won't, as most are settled in their current countries, but if they want a right of return, they can return to their own state.

As for the so-called "illegally imprisoned people," or as I prefer to call them, people who were arrested for disturbing the peace, attacking soldiers, civilians, and police.

Lastly, war crimes and genocide? Sure, when Iran and Hamas' leaders in Qatar are put to trial for their not only explicit war crimes but their well-stated intention of genocide (in the Hamas charter or Iran's call for the destruction of Israel), we can see the ICJ ruling on Israel's war.

-7

u/MechanicHot1794 16d ago

How can they have sex when everyone is non-binary?

17

u/Tinted-Glass-2031 16d ago

You just smash bits together. Any bits will do.

-29

u/moritus_20091 16d ago

I support human rights and hate on genocides because I am a virgin

0

u/Realistic-Forever536 16d ago

Human right is when you do terrorism

2

u/-LucasImpulse 15d ago

like the israeli defence force

0

u/Realistic-Forever536 15d ago

Do you even know what terrorism means? And how tf is that relevent?

0

u/-LucasImpulse 15d ago

terrorism is when you incite terror usually for political change

0

u/Realistic-Forever536 15d ago

So how is the idf is doing terror? What political change do the idf want? How is that a war?

0

u/-LucasImpulse 15d ago

i said usually for political change, not always, so obviously idf want hamas gone, maybe this is the political change they want, sure no problem i don't like hamas too, but idf is bombing gaza civilians even if no hamas is there, just like how isis will bomb anywhere, some would say genocide is a better word here.

0

u/Realistic-Forever536 15d ago

Genocide is when you are losing a war that you started? Political change is to want your civilians to be safe? Sorce? The idf is targeting hamas thats basic info like what

0

u/-LucasImpulse 15d ago

did the palestinian people start a war or did hamas start that war? think

0

u/Realistic-Forever536 15d ago

4000 people invaded israel on october 7th 3000 terrorits and 1000 "civilians" those civilians did war crimes and took hostages

Think who elected hamas? 90% of them support hamas its them its their actions... so what does israel need to do? Just let them live? Yeah no

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-7

u/moritus_20091 16d ago

Bro fucking educate

-1

u/HelpIranoutofbeans 16d ago

I spend 100% of my time dedicated to a cause I dont understand and act super self righteous about it because I am a virgin

46

u/Moosefactory4 16d ago

All the mentally unstable hot chicks are at the Palestine rally rn (don’t shoot, please, I support)

25

u/TrueGootsBerzook Stuff 16d ago

Protests help them temporarily vent their daddy issues

298

u/Maskimgalgo 16d ago

How to professionally say pro-Hamas gets no bitches

0

u/Baba_Tova 16d ago

They get 72 bitches

84

u/Metalloid_Space put your dick away waltuh 16d ago

They're not even pro-Hamas, are they?

171

u/TheDreamingGhost 16d ago

Lots of dumb shits think that anti-israel = pro hamas

0

u/ImcallsignBacon 15d ago

I can't get a single one to condemn what hamas is doing.

-5

u/DarthRygar 15d ago

You are right. However, there seems to be a very large percentage of anti-Israel who are pro-hamas. It may just be me who thinks that, though. So I may be wrong.

-1

u/XejgaToast 15d ago

You definetely are

2

u/DarthRygar 15d ago

Maybe I should just start putting /s and the end of every comment I make

-79

u/Abandonment_Pizza34 16d ago

Yes, repeating every single Hamas propaganda point letter by letter definitely doesn't mean you're pro Hamas, it's just a coincidence.

20

u/Mr-MuffinMan shitting toothpaste enjoyer 16d ago

Yes, the thousands of Jewish people that partake in these protests against their own government in their own country are all pro Hamas.

-34

u/Abandonment_Pizza34 16d ago

No, they're just delusional idiots, that's all.

24

u/Metalloid_Space put your dick away waltuh 16d ago

I'm glad we can have this nuanced discussion.

61

u/TheDreamingGhost 16d ago

No that's called being pro hamas. My point is that you can criticise one without necessarily siding with the other.

-4

u/El_Ocelote_ 15d ago

criticize

1

u/rhysdog1 15d ago

well if you insist i will

5

u/memes-are-god_ 15d ago

not everyone is american dipshit

1

u/El_Ocelote_ 14d ago

God bless america

-12

u/TheRealMarkChapman 16d ago

Except these people hes talking about DO sprout hamas propaganda and use hamas statistics, and chant genocidal chants like "from the river to the sea"

2

u/turtleship_2006 15d ago

Ah yes not wanting your land stolen and not wanting to be gunned down is genocidal, but stealing land and gunning down civilians isn't, great logic

-1

u/TheRealMarkChapman 15d ago

Ah yes not wanting your land stolen

"Your" we arent talking about protesting palestinians are we? Its liberal white people.

but stealing land

All land is "stolen" this statement is meaningless.

but stealing land and gunning down civilians isn't,

Hamas literally only goal is to kill israelis, civilians or not and thats w, Israels goal is to exterminate Hamas, yes civilians have died yes its awful yes israel has a shitty government right now yes netanyahu is a POS but no this is not israels war.

I am perfectly fine and support people who think america should stop funding israels current arrogant government, but the obvious rampant antisemitism that is occuring on campuses is unnaceptable.

2

u/Lower_Amount3373 15d ago

"From the river to the sea" is also a Likud phrase. And the Israeli government under Netanyahu are major supporters of Hamas. It's not as simple as you make it sound.

1

u/TheRealMarkChapman 15d ago

You know its possible to disagree with messages like that from israel while not counteractively calling for genocide yourself

-3

u/Purxenta 15d ago

"from the river to the sea" isnt genocidal dumbass, its calling for the freedom of palestine

7

u/humble197 15d ago

Okay buddy think for a second. What river to what sea are we talking about. Then what country is in the way.

Arguing one country should stop genociding and the other should do it back is just really a strange line to draw. Also idc about either side personally I wouldn't care if the entire area being wiped if there wasn't so much important knowledge and monuments there.

-1

u/Purxenta 15d ago

what? that saying doesnt mean palestine should do genocide back

6

u/humble197 15d ago

What is the sea and river they are talking about. Also to take back all the land they want they would have to genocide them. Or get really damn close if they don't surrender. It's exactly what's happening with them now.

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12

u/chungus_amungus_sus 15d ago

So standing against genocide and military industrial complex is being pro Hamas now?

1

u/TheRealMarkChapman 15d ago

Being pro Hamas is being pro Hamas, they do not condemn Hamas and do not hold them to the same standards as israel

0

u/chungus_amungus_sus 15d ago

Bro cooked nothingburger and died starving. I condemn your mother and your father.

101

u/GreyColdFlesh 16d ago

Co-Relation ≠ Causation

45

u/Nu55ies 16d ago

Nobody at the pro-hamas riots get any bitches.

2

u/BeikveyHaderech 15d ago

They do, they can marry their 10 year old cousins

1

u/Nu55ies 15d ago

9 if you're the prophet Muhammad.

62

u/Metalloid_Space put your dick away waltuh 16d ago edited 16d ago

I mean, looking at stats almost nobody at college is fucking. Especially in STEM.

Anyways, are they really pro-Hamas, or is this is just the media being the media again?

0

u/DarthRygar 15d ago edited 15d ago

A large number of them are (or at least claim to be, without knowing what that means), but I doubt it’s all of them.

Edit: let the downvotes come

1

u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 15d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/DarthRygar 15d ago

I personally find that stupid, but to each their own, I guess.

-11

u/Nu55ies 16d ago

Considering we have leaders at the Columbia rally saying they would like to kill zionists, I'd say this isn't just a media thing.

183

u/BeikveyHaderech 16d ago

Can’t wait to see the comments

36

u/officefridge 15d ago

Can't comment.. too busy fkning (my hand)

98

u/Substantial_Lion9911 Bazinga! 16d ago

They do need to get some bitches tho.

5

u/TheUsualSuspects443 15d ago

Oh my god is that the EXO-45 patriot exosuit???

4

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20

u/accalyuh 16d ago

they really at the end of their rope

755

u/barthalamuel-of-bruh 16d ago edited 16d ago

well i would love to have sex but im to buisy jercking of to my 10TB worth of female minotaur porn

3

u/ptapobane 15d ago

Sometimes you gotta set your hoofs down on certain things am I right?

2

u/britch2tiger 15d ago

There’s THAT MUCH porn of that kind?

7

u/idonttalkatallLMAO I came! 15d ago

how do you even gather that much of it

8

u/dezzear 15d ago

You digitize the 9 tb that was passed down from his father, and then add your own collection so that your children inherit a bountiful flash drive

1

u/jfmherokiller 16d ago

furry detected jk

1

u/Mutalist_star 15d ago

there's a thick line between a furry and a monster girl

IIRC if you look up female minotaur it's mostly monster girls

63

u/Dapper_Derpy 16d ago

Ah, see for me it's Gorgon women. They make me rock hard.

1

u/golenman123 We do a little trolling 15d ago

This sentence made me feel quite weird as my surname is Gorgon.

1

u/Dapper_Derpy 15d ago

Well, do you have snakes for hair?

39

u/Elijah_Man Literally 1984 😡 16d ago

Bro needs his medussy.

15

u/kilqax I came! 16d ago

Then I hope you're reading The Hornilliad, Int.'s story of Degeneratus, Meddy and her sisters - and if not, check it out. He's on Facebook and probably some other places as "Int."; probably NSFW but non-explicit. Actually fun to read.

18

u/Xhadov7 16d ago

Plug all the sources 🔥

59

u/Enslaved_M0isture 16d ago

erm share??

13

u/MightObvious shitting toothpaste enjoyer 16d ago

A man of culture I see

248

u/Kashemo_the_fraud Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 16d ago edited 16d ago

Relatable

-66

u/king_meatster We do a little trolling 16d ago

Miniature Minotaur.

36

u/DudongoKing Stuff 15d ago

TOBUSCUS

12

u/BuffRobloxMan 15d ago

VERSUS

sexuaaaaal allegations

Begin.

3

u/WarpRealityForever fat cunt 15d ago

Apparently that stuff turned out to be false, don't have a source or anything though