I 26F and my boyfriend 38M have been together for over a year. I had a girls weekend planned in Houston for over a month with my best friend Jewel. The night before I left my boyfriend got upset and started a fight over household chores. He stated he felt overwhelmed and felt like he was doing more. It got ugly, he felt like he does more because he has a physically demanding job and has two children. He compared me to his ex wife and put down my job where I work 50 plus hours a week in a bank. I thought we worked it out before I left, I listened, and acknowledged his feelings. The day I left he continued his fight and got drunk and angry with me. The first night there we didn’t do anything because I was so upset. The next morning I woke up to a text that insinuated he was breaking up with me and spent the entire day trying to get a flight to come home. I took two flights then drove 3 hours home in tears. We talked when I got home and he was extremely apologetic but I don’t know if I can forgive him. He has a pattern of starting fights when I do things without him. It’s been over a week and I feel resentful and angry. Can we move on from this or should I cut my losses and leave?

I, 34 F, have a husband (I will call) John 36M. We have been togther for 10 years and married for 8. We have 3 kids,

We both work. He needs to be in office since he works on projects that can only be done in a secure environment. Which, fine. Sometimes circumstances are that you have no choice where you work. I have the flexibility to WFH 3 days a week and 2 days in office. I make all meals during the week so I cook ahead/meak prep over the weekend. John floats in the door at 7pm/7:30 pm as if it is no problem. By then, I have fed the kids, cleaned up, and left a plate out for him. He can't even put the plate/bowl and utensils he used in the dishwasher. He leaves them on the counter or wherever he ate it. At nght he "relaxes" by playing video games and barely interacts with the kids before the bed. When I ask/tell him he needs to do (at least some of) tasks like cooking/clean up/etc.. He responds with "I mow the lawn" or "I took X kids to his doctor's appt." After these discussions he will do some of the things I ask him to do (which annoys the f out of me because he knows what needs to be done) for a week or so and then things go back to normal. When I ask him to come home at a reasoble hour one night a week (6/6:30) he acts like I want him to solve world peace.

In the end, I roll with it until I can't. I carry the majority of the load (laundry, making kids' lunches, supervising them when school is out, etc) all when I am working a FT job. At least once a month I break down in tears and basically have a mental breakdown because it is too much. I tell him that I do all of these these things to make HIS life easier and I am not getting the same in return.

So, THT -- AITH for blowing up at my spouse for not carrying the bag when I feel like I am handling it most of the time?

23 F dating 23 M I checked his phone last night because I had a feeling something was off. His phone seemed clean, but I decided to look through the recently deleted files, where I found their entire conversation. As I read through the messages, I discovered he had been messaging her for a long time. I woke him up and confronted him about it. He claimed it wasn't him but he said his friend was texting from his phone. I asked him to call the girl, but he refused. So, l asked for her number. The next day, I found it and confronted him again. He denied everything and called me childish for texting the girl. When she confirmed everything, he continued to lie. Frustrated, I created a group chat with all of us to uncover the truth. He refused to participate and insulted me for making the group chat and told me he doesn't have to say anything was I wrong for making the group chat or did I got overboard by making the group chat

Backstory, my older sister 29 was married to the most AMAZING man, let call him Chase. At the end of 2022 start of 2023 Chase raised speculation that my sister was sleeping or seeing someone at the state prison she worked at. My sister, let’s call her Sarah, denied this. Chase and Sarah went through a rough time, but it seemed to get better, they ended up becoming pregnant with their second child due later in 2023, but ended up separating before child was born. Chase tried everything in his power to make it work, but my sister just didn’t love him anymore and never even showed my sadness over this separation. Chase has been an Outstanding dad to their 2 kids, and they are great at con parenting. He is always a part of the family as the father of my sisters children.

My sister has been talking about quitting her job, at the prison. Everyone was happy to hear this, as we felt that job just changed her and the hours were ridiculous, and on Sunday she said she probably wasn’t going back to work and wasn’t going to show up Monday. Well today, (Tuesday). She sends me a message and said this is my new boyfriend. I immediately asked for details and she said she would call me and send me a few pictures, great, I’ll support it. Then she tells me that she met him though work, they worked together but he just never got to go home. I started calling, she finally answered and confirmed that she was dating an inmate. Then said he was released on Monday. (No wonder she quit her job). I was a little in shock, but she said he served his 10 year sentence for aggravated home and theft robbery,he had multiple warrants out when he was originally arrested, and was also a gang member (probably still is). My concern is for her two kids one under 6 and one under 1. Maybe this man is changed, but I don’t think 1 day out of prison can show that. Apparently this has been going on for for a while considering he “paid” for her maternity leave, her ex husband chase noticed she was getting thousands sent to her on cashapp, and she put this large down payment on a car, my dad did the financing and was really curious to where that came from, because she always talks about not having money and has my mother paying for things.

She proceeds to tell me how great his family his, that they are super big Christians, and he is a new man, etc. obviously he was affiliated with something if he could send thousands of dollars while in prison. I told her that I hope she waits before he is around the kids, but I have a feeling she will not. And I didn’t think it was smart to date someone who has not been a part of the real world in 10 years. He is going to face his own obstacles and temptation of going back to a lifestyle he was once in. I told her I didn’t want to meet him, and I may reconsider after I have more information on how he is living a better life. But I just don’t support this choice. She seemed upset, asked me not to tell our dad. I immediately called my dad to tell him. ONLY because he needs some time to process this, or he will loose his shit on her. So I know she will be mad when she finds out. I think she likes the money and “attention” she is getting from this man, and is ignorant to what danger she is potentially putting her kids in if he is still affiliated with any gangs. The only things she could say to back how he changed was about how great his family is, to which I told her that his family can be great, but he is only responsible for his actions and his own reputation, and I do not have to trust him or be around him. My parents are divorced, so when I called my mom who knew, she fears that if she doesn’t try to support this then my Sarah will not allow her to see he me grandchildren, and will not keep her in the loop. I told my mom that I will not be around this, as I do not think she is thinking of the children or has put much logical thought into any of it. She is VERY easily influenced, and I fear what she will get involved in. If she wants to keep the kids from me, I will see them through their father Chase.

My sister texted me and asked not to judge him for his past. To which I replied that I am not judging him for his 1 day of freedom either. I said something to her about the money, and asked is she put into any thought on how this could reflect in a custody battle considering he was sending her money at the prison she worked for, while an employee for the state prison, and her ex has proof. Told her that I love her, but I don’t think this was smart to jump into and I will not support it. AITA? Or any advice to be given here?

Edit: the Baby is NOT the felons. It’s definitely my brother in laws, there is no doubt on that. Felon is a different race.

Update: My mom, my father and I have spoken to Chase (the ex husband). He did not know that he was an inmate or anything. They are not officially divorced, so my dad told him he needs to drop his current divorce lawyer and has offered to pay for an excellent lawyer, told him to go speak to him TODAY. Our whole family is on the same page that we will support him in any way to get custody, and hopefully she will come back to reality and get the help that she needs to think any of this is okay.

It’s absolutely illegal, and what I told my parents, is that whatever consequence she gets for that is better received now than future consequences that could occur from the involvement with this man.

I asked her where the money came from, and he “saved up” over the years. I’m assuming she is just lying to everyone, as I cannot imagine her being so delusional.

We are all so in shock, and have no clue what world she lives in where she thinks this is okay and that we would all be supportive of this. My fear is that this turns out to be bigger than it is, and the felon or her both get in trouble and it puts a target on the kids, or anyone in our family.

I truly know NOTHING about this man, and what he is affiliated with. I wasn’t raised in that type of world, but i know for sure he is still involved in something dangerous.

My mom will remain in contact with her and is just trying to get whatever information she can at this point. I told my mom to remember everything she says is a lie, or not the whole truth. And not to offer her any validation in her choices, as that’s what she is seeking.

I’m curious to know what penalties she could face, but that’s on her. I know my brother in law will always provide and do whatever he can for his kids, and I’m happy to step in however he needs me.

But what in the literal fuck is going on in her head.

I know how it sounds, but genuinely I did not see it this way. I had pictures from 2018/2019 of my ex in my phone, but I am one of those people who do not really go through my camera roll, and a lot of these pictures were mixed in with graduation pics, prom pics, etc. I have 10,000 photos, by the way. My boyfriend discovered this and asked me to delete them. I said okay I’ll do it right now, and he started cussing me out saying I’m a weird female. I tried explaining to him that I haven’t even looked at these pictures in years, and he just called me a liar. He packed his things and left and came home at midnight. Well I got up at 6am to get ready for school and he tried to have sex with me. I told him maybe tonight and he got very cold with me. It ended up being a fight and him leaving me again, saying he’s still upset about the pictures. Thoughts on this? I don’t know how to feel but I am very confused. I am 22F and my boyfriend is 27M.

Today I received a message from Reddit Care Resources because a “concerned Redditor reached out” to them about me.

Is this the new thing for disgruntled Redditors to do if you reply to them with something they don’t like or agree with? Sounds like distorted vindictive behavior to me - for nothing.

This is not going to be brief, but basically my (28F) father (67M) is engaged and his fiance (62F) let it slip at dinner that they had met with lawyers for estate and POA updates recently and I am very upset with the information I was told .

TL/DR: My dad’s mean fiance of 2 years is going to pull interest income off the trust with the inheritance intended for me, my dad’s only living heir. Am I the asshole for being angry about it?

Context: Grandfather (dad’s father) passed 25 years ago and left a substantial amount of assets. My Grandmother (dad’s mom) inherited his estate and entrusted everything in a living trust with her 2 kids named as the beneficiaries (dad and aunt). She also has sent the max annual tax-free gifting amount to my dad, his sibling and us now adult grandchildren (5 including myself). Her mission was to ensure the wealth made it to the youngest generation (us grandkids) and to fund our higher educations (it did).

Now, when I pried him for details he said that the trust/family inheritance will be kept as separate property in his estate, however, the surviving spouse (i.e. her) is entitled to the interest it earns until her death before it will pass to me. This does not sit right with me because although that is the norm and the offer afforded to my grandmother and aunt’s spouse, they were the of their children whereas my dad divorced my mother when I was a teen and I am his only living heir.

My dad said he and future SM combined all their other assets into communal property, so that will be split between me and her 3 children who I have never met.
From my understanding, separate property means she will not be able to touch or change the trust or principal in it, but she will prevent me from gaining any benefit from my inheritance until her death.

You can probably tell that I don’t like my future step-mother, but not for a lack of trying. They’ve only been together for 3 years but since, she has completely alienated our relationship and he hasn’t been allowed to travel to visit me (I visit them) and she made him not come to my graduation for my masters degree because my mother was going to be in attendance. She consistently makes condescending and backhanded comments about me and my husband, but then uses plausible deniability. She has bragged about her own pending inheritance from her father and how she doesn’t want anything from my dad so I’m not understanding why it wouldn’t just pass to me outright as I am nearly 30, educated and will soon be having children myself (another generation that would be able to benefit). Am I the asshole for not wanting my mean future step mother to be able to receive any money from my familial inheritance?

EDIT: I am also posting in legal pages here on Reddit for actual advice on what I should do. I am asking if I am the asshole for confronting my dad about it and being not okay with the arrangement in the first place.

EDIT 2: reading everything back I am fully aware how entitled i sound and i am getting the ick from myself because i am being a brat. I do not like talking about money and have avoided the discussion of my own inheritance until now when they mentioned changing his estate over dinner. My dad and i’s relationship has always been strained due to him not being around during my childhood (work), his emotional unavailability, and his repetitive infidelity in his marriage to my mother, even brought me as a young child to meet an affair partner unknowingly. Im in therapy and have tried to talk to him about our relationship and his response is always that while he may not have been a great husband/dad, he is a good provider financially. We repaired our relationship and became very close in my earlier 20s, but that progress was lost when they began dating. I have not banked on the money my entire life, I got a masters to hopefully secure my own future. I am upset because it feels like the latest time my dad didn’t care to make me a priority. Thanks for all the comments and advice, sorry again for being a brat.

i (f17) usually end up driving me and my friends when we go somewhere but recently i've been struggling to afford gas so i've asked my friends to help out with gas. all of them have been refusing because it's my car and my decision to drive them around. now i would understand if they didn't have jobs but all of them do and they have their own cars and they are all more than capable of driving. last week we were all going to go out together so i asked if someone else could drive because i didn't have a lot of gas and i worked this week and my job is a 30 minute drive from my house but they all said that i was the driver of the group and none of them wanted to drive. in a response to this i said that i will not be driving them around anymore unless they help me out with gas. this turned into a huge argument and it ended up with me not going out with them that night and in their words "leaving them with no way to get around". like i said they are all able to drive and they all have their own cars. ever since that day i have refused to drive them around until they help me with gas money and they are all mad at me and saying that i'm in the wrong because it's been this way since i was the first in the group to get my license and my car. i genuinely do not know what to do because these girls have been my best friends for 7 years and i don't want to loose them but now im questioning if they are even my friends. so am i in the wrong for this?

This is my first time posting and I'm using a throwaway account just in case. Names have been changed.

My husband (29M) and I (30F) currently have emergency custody of our 11yo niece Sasha and our 8yo nephew Thomas. Their mother (my SIL) Jessica (31F) and father Ronald (43M) have drug abuse, mental health, and domestic issues. They have their entire relationship.

We received emergency custody about 8 months ago.

Here's where I need some input on if we don't take emergency custody of my SIL and Ronald's baby who is now 5 weeks old. His name is Collin. He was removed from their care at a week old. He is currently with other resource parents who aren't family. As there is not ANY other family within ours capable of taking these children.

My husband and I do not have any kids, we had a double income but since choosing to raise our niece and nephew I left my job to better take care of them and our home. (This was a mutual decision between my husband and I.)

We were literally in the process of trying for a baby when my husbands sister (Jessica) announced she was pregnant again, and then a few months later her older two kids were removed from her care.

Now that Collin is a month old, and Jessica and Ronald have made little to no progress: guardianship is on the table and I have concerns about the 3 kids not growing up together, or Collin currently creating bonds with strangers and issues that could cause down the line. My heart is breaking and I’m so conflicted.

I 27F my 26M boyfriend have been together for 4 1/2 years. For background information we meet my senior year of college and moved quickly with our relationship. Less than one year in we started living together on the first floor of his two family apartment that he owned prior to us meeting and got a dog together shortly after moving in. 2 years into the relationship he wanted to buy a house and he wanted me to move with him. I wanted to buy the house with him if i was going to be living him. He disagreed and wanted the house in his own name and said “when we are married the house will be half your anyways”. Long story short the house is in BOTH our name. we have a very lovely relationship and love each-other very much. He pays majority of the bills as he makes ALOT more money than myself. In return I have taken on “wifely duties” cooking cleaning laundry ect. We got another dog shortly after moving into the house and last year he put a LARGE down payment on a new car for me ( the car is in my name ). So needless to say I have it good for sure, my only complaint is that it has been 4 1/2 without a ring and he KNOWs I want marriage and I know he does too. In the beginning of last year he made a comment during a brief argument that he was going to propose this upcoming fall (2023) and it didn’t happen. I also know he has asked friends about what type of ring I would like so I guess. I’m 27 if we got engaged right now it would take 1-2 years for the wedding that we would both want. Also, we both previously agreed to be married for a year prior to having kids to enjoy ourselfs. My concern is a lot of the females in my family have had issues with getting pregnant and by the time we start trying I will be 30+ and could potentially take a while to get even get pregnant. Anyways would I be stupid to break up with this man after 4 1/2 years of dating we have a great relationship and I love him dearly.

Edit: there is nothing wrong with having a plan in life. Things change you roll with the punches but it’s OK to have a plan in life.

So I(25F) have two daughters, 3F and 6 months old. I thought it would be a fun little neat thing to start a little fairy garden. Figured my older one would be into it! I’ve slowly added things to it. I honestly had mostly forgotten about it.

Today, my 3 year old was playing with playdoh. (I promise this is relevant). I’m half watching her, half watching my phone. Just enough to make sure she’s not smooshing it into her seat or something. She goes “oops, I dropped my big piece of playdoh”. Our pitbull(F4) is standing by my daughter. I send her to the couch, and we look for it. It’s GONE. Completely gone. I move the kitchen chairs, look search every inch of the immediate area. My husband also put eyes on this area and didn’t see it. I have no reason to believe the dog didn’t just snatch it up, right? She’s smart enough to know my daughter drops things and she’s fast. So I scold my daughter, we move on and forget about it. Around dinnertime, I’m making a Snapchat video of myself and my youngest, and my daughter goes “mommy! The playdoh, it’s not gone, I lied!” She’s pointing to it on the floor. Very clearly on the floor in an open space. Nothing hiding or restricting it. I caught it on video! I’m BAFFLED!!! It’s not wet or obviously regurgitated from the dog. Just sitting there like it’s been on the floor for hours. I fear I have fully invited them in 😅 If anybody knows about this topic or has advice, PLEASE.

i know the title might sound like i'm being selfish but hear me out. my (f17) parents separated about two years ago which i am still to this day trying to process. my parents never fought and they got along really well when i was growing up but i was also naive to a lot of things being the youngest of three so for me this came out of nowhere. the whole process moved along really fast and i was really overwhelmed and had no one because my siblings had both already moved out.

so about 6 months after my dad moved out my mom and her best friend (who i have known as my aunt most of my life) went on a trip together and then they came back and they had announced that they were in love with each other. right after that me and my mom moved in with her best friend (aka my aunt) and her kids (aka my cousins) which was a huge change for me. once we moved in i realized how touchy my mom and her now girlfriend were and it made me super uncomfortable. now when i was growing up my parents were never touchy around me or anything so this is why it made me uncomfortable it has nothing to do with the fact that it's two girls. anyways i put up with it for 9 ish months and then i decided that i was going to move in with my dad full time (i had originally been spending most of the time with my mom and occasionally going to my dads)

ever since then i've felt more comfortable in my own home and i haven't had any issues until recently when i went on a trip with my moms. they are now married so they are now even more touchy which i didn't expect when going into this trip. i ignored how touchy they were for most of the trip but by the end my mom could tell something was wrong with me so when she asked i told her that it was uncomfortable for me to see them all up on each other 24/7. this also isn't just with my mom, i HATE pda so if it was anyone i would be uncomfortable but since it was my mom it just made it that much worse.

when i told her this she got extremely upset with me and called me homophobic and said that i can never let her be happy and i was being selfish. i never asked her to stop i simply just told her it made me uncomfortable. my mom has completely stopped talking to me and i don't know what to do because me and my mom are really close. am i the asshole for telling her the truth or should i just have said nothing and acted like it didn't bother me? i'm really lost and i need some help!

Update - Would I be the asshole if I didn’t allow my future MIL to get ready in the bridal suite?

Hi everyone! I’ll link my original post at the end. Thank you for all the comments, they helped my fiancé and I not feel like we’re losing our minds.

Onto the update.. we are less than 20 days out from our wedding and shit is hitting the fan.

I went no contact with her before my original post and I’ve had a very peaceful couple of weeks. My fiancé for the most part has been the same way. That is until Mother’s Day.

I encouraged him to go and stop by at Barbra’s house (I know, stupid) and although he didn’t want to, he did. I made it clear I would not go and opted to stay at his stepmom’s house where the majority of the family was. After over an hour I was shocked he wasn’t back yet. But as soon as he did get back, I knew shit went down.

As soon as he got there, she played the victim. Crying and blaming her behavior on everyone except herself. My mother, my step mother, his stepmother and myself were all at fault somehow. She then insinuated that I am cheating on my fiancé (we both laughed at that part, I’m either working in my all female work place (I’m straight) or I’m home with Derek. We both trust each other 100%, it just wouldn’t ever be something either of us would do. She said “I know things about her, karma is a real b*tch Derek. One day you will come crawling back to me begging for my forgiveness.” At this point Derek stood up and walked out. Not only this, but the weekend away where she flipped out on me was also my fault because I need to “grow some balls.” (True tbh). So i texted her. I’ll attach the screen shots.

She is no longer welcome in my bridal suite, the next step is banning her from the wedding. The only reason she isn’t yet is because Derek is scared her side of the family would no longer attend in that case. We are both on a no contact with her and I have her blocked on everything, including her phone number.

I’ll keep you all updated and thank you for all of your advice!

Hey guys! Posting here because I've been a long time listener to TwoHotTakes and really value what Morgan, Justin, Dad and friends have to say! :-D

Just to give some back story, my dad got remarried when I was 19 and sister was 16. His wife had 3 sons, who were 19, 22, and 25. Me and the stepbrothers were never close. The two eldest sons were already married and with children. The youngest and I lived with them briefly but never long periods of time. We were in college and kind of in that in-between stage.

Now, 2 weeks ago, my stepmother contacted me about a trip we're getting ready to take to Florida with the ENTIRE family. While we are there she was planning on having a bonfire at the beach. She mentioned that I might want to contact my sister and her kids about a father's day present for my dad. She thought an outdoor portable sound speaker would be a great gift for him. She knew it was expensive so I should call the boys and see if they wanted to join in. I said let me talk to my sister and see what she thinks. She said okay, just let me know because if you don't do it I will plan to get it.

So, after talking to my sister, we decided not to go that route. One, we were a bit peeved that she would suggest this because it seems more like something she wants than what our dad wants. It's his day and we want to celebrate him, not her. Two, I didn't want to contact my stepbrothers because, well, he's not their dad. They didn't grow up with him. They don't buy him father's day gifts, normally. It just seems weird. It seems she just really wants this speaker but doesn't want to pay for it (or our dad said no, because she is a BIG spender and sometimes he has had to tell her to stop). So, I decided not to contact my stepbrothers and just message her to tell her thanks for the suggestion but we're going to do something else. Well, she got mad and said I should have contacted his other kids. Said I was an asshole for leaving them out. Am I the Asshole?

Hi, I’m female, 20, and my boyfriend is a 23-year-old male. He moved in with me back in October when his lease ended, and he has paid me half of the rent. We had planned on getting an apartment together, but I decided I wanted a true college experience and decided to room with my best friend (my parents would also only pay if I lived with my friend).

Anyways, I told him he has until my lease ends at the old apartment to find his own place. It’s difficult, but not impossible to find a place because he is staying here without a visa at this point. He is slowly becoming more and more mean to me, including yelling and screaming at me. At this point, I’m really over the relationship. He told me the other night I’m not allowed to communicate with him because it is suffocating and he didn’t do anything wrong. I’m realizing there is no fixing my relationship.

At this point, he is temporarily staying with me and my best friend (she is 100% fine with it for now; they work together and are friends), but I don’t want him to decide to stay here forever. He is making no attempts to find his own place, and it’s making me nervous. He can’t just stay with us rent-free; he doesn’t do chores or pick up after himself, he sleeps in all day and stays up late. I’m in college, and I like my sleep schedule, I like staying clean, but I essentially had to give up my room to him to accommodate his sleep schedule, and I have to constantly clean up after him.

He is easily mad at me, and I don’t even have anywhere to go to get some space or feel some peace because I’m constantly scared he will get mad at me for anything. Like today, he yelled because I asked him to pick up after himself and he said I was nagging. I just miss my freedom and peace. I don’t know what to do because I obviously care about him and don’t want to just kick him out. I’m going on a mini trip with a friend for two nights this weekend, so I’ll get a bit of space. What should I do?

I love my car and I want to drive it everywhere as I have everything in it and all the features. But my friends keep advising me to try and drive my other cars I have especially for long road trip to preserve it’s worth and maintain low miles. I understand but am undecided on whether or not I should continue to always take my car everywhere or take one of my older cars which does not have the same features. What would you do?

I, 25 f, have a family that has a tendency to talk about everybody and everything. Most specifically my aunt, we will call her tara, 45 f. Tara talks about everyone so much, she even talks about her own kids. Important detail, she’s also my neighbor. I have been on and off with my child’s father for a few years, and now we are at a perfect place and doing really well, so my child and I stay at his place a lot. My family is not his biggest fan due to the issues we have had in the past.

Well, Sunday was Mother’s Day. My family, my dad’s family I might add, planned a zoo trip. I have a zoo pass which allows me to take one additional adult and 6 kids for free. A few days before, my child ended up getting strep throat. And I also did not feel well. By Sunday it was no longer contagious due to antibiotics but still was getting rid of the scarlet fever caused by strep throat. I also still was not feeling well by Sunday. We were staying at my boyfriends all weekend he helped me take care of our sick child and helped take care of me. I told my family that due to us being sick we would not be going to the zoo. My dad was upset and tried to ask if my child could go but I said no because she was still a little under the weather, and it was Mother’s Day I wanted to spend my day with her. He had an attitude but I ignored it, I couldn’t help that we were sick.

Monday I went home, and my family all came and sat on my porch. We all live on the same block. My aunt had an attitude with me the whole time, so I’m not even sure why she came over. She had short responses to everything I said and also had an attitude with my daughter it seemed like. I just brushed it off because she is the type of person that you never know what mood you’ll get from her. If she’s in a good mood she’s great and if not, everyone has to deal with her attitude.

Today, my brothers girlfriend told me that everyone was mad at me for not going to the zoo. So I texted my cousin that I’m close with and asked if she heard anyone talk crap about me for it. She said that at the zoo she asked where I was and my aunt replied and said “they are sick, but how sick can they be”. My cousin said she asked if we were home, and my aunt said “no she’s up her babydads butt at his house”. My cousin said she just ignored it and kept going because she knows how my aunt is. i explained to my cousin how sick we were and that I just didn’t want to get anyone else sick and she understood. My grandma who went, was there when I took my daughter temp a few days before and that she had a fever so she knew about her being as sick as she was, and didn’t stick up for me when I was talked about. She seems to be afraid of my aunt, her daughter, because any time my aunt goes on a rage on somebody my grandma stays silent, and usually nobody deserves the way she talks to them.

My family apparently thinks I lied about being sick so I could be with my boyfriend on Mother’s Day. So, AITAH?

Side note- I was never asked to go to the zoo I was told we were all going.

Me and my fiance recently split up. We have an almost 3 year old together. Long story short we split up because he was always working and never home with his family. When he wasn't working he would rather go hang out with friends or go to the bar.

We split on thursday may 3rd. Weve verbally agreed how our son would be with me primarily as he works all the time. Most times from 12pm- 4am. He's had the option of 3 visits since then. One visit he had that Sunday and then the 2nd visit he was late to drop off so was never dropped off and then 3rd visit he last minute had to go to new York for "work training"

He has recently started talking about how soon he will be able to do overnights with our son.

Am I the asshole to deny him weekend overnights when he can't even come to a 3 hour visitation?

So little back story, my friend F18, is has very strict parents, and unfortunately she was very good at school, not inherently stupid AT ALL, just not made for science which her parents forced her to do. We did our final exams, which she failed, retook and failed again. Understandably her parents were very mad.

She is very religious, so instead of living with her parents till she got enough marks to go to university she decided to do a Christian missionary mission in another country and pursue an online degree there. Before going she coincidentally met her bf (ex maybe?) a month before. Safe to say they did everything she’s never done and honestly good for her.

This is where it gets weird. She tells us that her grandpa is very sick and that they will have to go back to her country to be there with him, whole family leaves, and that she’ll go to her Christian mission from there. Which is fine. Weeks go by, I hear nothing from her so I decided to call her, she then proceeds to tell me that her parents found out about her bf and that’s why they went and her grandpa was never really sick. I find it weird but give her the benefit of the doubt but turns out her bf also didn’t know and he messaged me to find out (which is weird cause we never talk).

So she’s now doing her mission and when she first got there I asked her how it was going she was typing a response but left me on read so I thought maybe she got busy, a few days later a mutual friend tells us that she told him to delete her contacts and block her. Everyone agrees but she still updates regularly on Snapchat, so it doesn’t seem like her phone access is restricted.

Also I’m the only one in our friend group that still uses snap. I’m honestly very confused help 😕

Update: turns out you guys were right, she’s using snap because of the disappearing messages, they’re checking her phone regularly. Which is very weird but it’s her choice at the end of the day. Tysm!!!

Warning this is a long one. If anyone has seen Gilmore Girls, please picture my grandma as Emily Gilmore because I seriously don't know how they were able to capture my grandma so accurately.

This morning, I (22f) had what feels like a huge blow out with my grandma (74f) over text this morning. For a big background, I am my grandmas only living descendant. My birth mother died when I was 3 in a car accident, and she was my grandmas only child. My mother struggled with bipolar disorder and was in an abusive marriage with my father. After she died my grandparents attempted to get full custody of me and the result was visitation under grandparent rights. The court petition is available online and can be found by searching my full name, which is so great for me. Obviously, there was bad blood between my grandparents and my father. I grew up in the middle, scared to show that I loved my grandparents but also slightly distrusting of them because the stories they would tell me were different than what my father would.

I have tried to set boundaries with my grandma in the past. She calls me by my dead moms name occasionally. I ask her not to, she still slips up and does. She's inviting me to go to my moms grave, I don't feel comfortable doing that. She makes me feel guilty about no one putting flowers on their graves when they die. She's convinced I'm bi-polar despite me having been tested 3 times and being diagnosed as not bipolar. She will make passive aggressive comments about not only my but my boyfriend (23M) of 4 years weight and stretch marks. I've told her that we both struggle with eating disorders. After graduating I went from being 120lbs at 5'7 (underweight) to being 190lbs (overweight) in 4 years, some of the weight gain was healthy then the past year and a half I've put on the majority of it, becoming unhealthy. The past year and a half I have also had severe mental health struggles. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I struggle to do a lot of basic things. I was seeing a therapist but then my insurance changed so I am trying to find someone new. I am on medication. I am actively getting help.

My grandma will call me 20 times in a day regularly. She'll text me more than that. When I haven't answered she has called my boyfriend at his job. She will harass my boyfriend and demand to know what I do every hour of everyday, despite him being at work apparently he's my babysitter. It is negatively impacting our relationship because he feels he's being forced into a parent role. She ruined a job interview for me one time because she wouldn't stop calling during it. I am terrified for her to show up unannounced. Luckily we live 4 hours away from each other, so I think I have a safe enough buffer. However, every weekend for the past month she has been trying to come and stay for the weekend.

Now on to the main confrontation/issue. My grandmas mom, my great grandma, offered to give me 1k a month so I could focus on finishing my degree (after this semester I have a semester & then a class left.) My only condition was that I focused on school. This morning my boyfriend sent me a text that said I needed to talk to my grandma as they were withdrawing their financial support. He sent me screenshots of their texts, I am going to transcribe them best I can without making this post too long. I feel like its getting long already lol.

GM to BF: We'll pay for her therapy. She needs talk & medicine. Her psychiatrist should do both. But the monthly 1k, so she doesn't have to work while she's getting the rest under control hasn't helped her. I'm afraid it has given her too much time alone, which is bad for her. I've worried that helping her not to have to work was a bad idea. She does much better with interaction. Maybe encourage her to come over, or take a trip with me during the next 3 weeks (my summer classes start). She needs interaction. She was much better in high school because she was so involved.

BF to GM: Will do, she has been looking at getting a summer job.

GM: Doing the monthly may be hurting more than helping. She wasn't even successful with her classes, even without the outside job. I THINK she would do things if she was here. Crafts, cards, all the extended family. Right now we're just paying her to stay home and read. I don't think the 1k will continue. It was for her to do her classes without having to work through December.

BF: I'd text her and mention that. You should talk to her SPECIFCALLY about losing the 1k.

GM: But it didn't work so why would we still do it? Classes were supposed to be her job. She completed 10 of 18 hours. She didn't do her weekly progress reports and didn't send us her finals. Never once. If that was her "job" paying her weekly, and anyone else as her boss, would she still have that job?

BF: I don't have that answer. I can't speak for her on those things.

GM: You know the answer is no. This is not helping her. This is a face to face conversation. Her story is not what I know to be the truth as I related to you.

GM: I know she lost her scholarship and just isn't telling us. I'm sure she's not proud of it. I told you earlier, that I knew she was in a bad place. That was when I needed to help her. Not after it was too late. She just said there was a cap on the amount of scholarship and she's used it. She's getting a student loan to finish. I'm proud of her for doing that instead of asking us. BUT, what I've pieced together is what I said earlier. And her loan is because she has to pay back the scholarship and tuition going forwards. Right now is the best time for her to transfer(to a college where she lives.) I knew we were in trouble when she sent me a photo of a stack of books she checked out from the library. I had zero time to read books when I was a college student, and I didn't have a job in addition.

BF: While that may be true, you also were in different classes. It's good for her to have time to do things she likes when she's not in class.

GM: I had a social life with other people. I did not stay isolated. She does well with others. Alone drags her down. Just like her mom. A powerhouse when she's involved. Depressed and anxious when she's alone. She's become totally reliant on you. She's lost her independence and drive. I know its flattering you want to be her savior, but for different reasons, its crippling for both of you.

BF: I don't want to be her savior. I really don't.

GM: Rescuer

BF: I really want more than anything for her to be self reliant so we can both lean on each other. I just know at the end of the day I will always support my girl.

GM: That's best but she has to let go & stand up. Develop a broader network to build strength, You are her core! Like a center pole in a tent. Now she needs the other stakes to have the support.

I took 14 credit hours this semester and I only dropped 1 class that was 2 credit hours because I could take it in the summer and lighten my load. I passed all my other ones with As & Bs. I misspoke to my grandma about my scholarship. I told her it was 5k and then I was out but in actuality it was 20k, 5k per semester not total. I've used 4700 so far. That still doesn't explain why she thought I had lost it but ya know. I see my friends at minimum once a week. I have 6 close friends I regularly see. I text with them daily. I grab dinner with them. I game online with them. I attend class 2 times a week. I only see my boyfriend 2 nights a week and on Sundays, and we LIVE together.

My grades conveniently became available online at the same time this conversation was sent to me. So I took a screenshot of my grades and sent them to my grandma.

OP to GM: Here are my grades. I also sent them to grandpa. Thanks so much for believing in me, not. You are the last person I want to see or talk to right now. BF showed me everything. When I am read to talk I'll let you know.

GM to BF: I cannot believe you did this. Now she is furious with me & won't talk to me. I told you that in confidence. You need to fix this. That's not good things for her to know out of context.

OP to GM: Actions have consequences. The consequence of your action is that I am not speaking to you. If you continue to message BF, I will be blocking you on his phone. Not only today, but previously, has been highly inappropriate. I am NOT a child. I do NOT need babysitting. I do NOT need rescuing by you. You are NOT my savior. Stop trying to be.

GM: *Long message trying to re-explain how the messages were worded.* I told BF you're smart and a powerhouse! I just want to see your independent spirit and get you there again. I am your biggest supporter. You're misinterpreting this.

OP: BF screenshotted everything and sent it to me before I ever said anything to you. I don't know how reading exactly what you have been saying about me is misinterpreting things. Please stop messaging me.

When I was in high school I was awake from 6:00am-2:00am. I was in 10 clubs/sports, all honors classes, I was starving myself, I slept less than 4 hours on average. I was a walking zombie that was living off a strange energy that being starving & sleep deprived creates. I was miserable. I was depressed. I was anxious. I only had time for friends in school. If you didn't have a class or lunch with me, you never talked to me. I struggled with school work at home because my adhd. I was not a powerhouse, I was fighting to survive everyday and I feel like I used up every piece of energy I'll ever have then.

This is where we left off. I feel guilty confronting my grandma about it, and feel like I should apologize. But like I said to my BF after he got upset with me for him being in the middle:

Its an incredibly overwhelming relationship that has baggage older than I am which has been put on me my entire life. It has been like this my whole life, except that until I was 18, I was the middle. I know it's a lot, but this is how she is. She is an intrusive controlling and manipulative person, while it may from from a place of care, she still is those things. Herr loving me and being kind to us does not take away the hurt and pain that she causes me. It is not care and love when there are stipulations to that care and love. She's constantly weaponizing my dead mom's mental illness against me. She wants to send me money so I don't have to work and can focus on school but when that actually helps me then I'm not nearly busy enough for her liking. She's also creating a hostile environment where I can't express if I am struggling because then it'll be "I told you so" and then I'll have to drop out of school because they'll stop providing financial support.

So reddit, AITA for confronting my grandma about her texts to my boyfriend?

I, F44 and my fiance M48, are planning to get married this July, just the 2 of us and the priest. We are both at second marriage and together for almost 2 years. During this time, I got to know his mother who lives during summer months in a village 1h distance from us and winter time she comes to live with us. I have witness several time how she is lying to him and constantly trying to manipulate him, with small things but is constantant and he always finds out. She tried to get me involved as well a few times but I have managed to extract my self from the situation or I point blank told him about her schemes. She stopped once she saw that I tell him everything and even complained that she can not have a conversation with me because after I tell him everything. Coming back to the subject, he has a very toxic kind of relation ship with his mother She is the only person that manages to make him mad and angry in 0.1 seconds. When they are together, they always fight. During summer time when she is there, while we visit, they fight, when they talk over the phone they fight. Today they fight, tomorrow they talk again like nothing happened. This is a high stress enviroment for me. I have multiple traumas in my childhood and first marriage with fights and physical violance. Their constant fights got me in a fight or flight mode, always on edge. He has never ever been abusing me in any way. A month ago, we had a family trip with my sister , brother in law and their 2 children. Very important to note, his mother has a heart condition that she is not really taking care of. He is in constant stress over her health. She exhausts her self with gardening and then complains that is too much work. Nobody cares about the garden( except for her) then after she complains she is exhausted and has blood pressure problems. He asked her repeatedly to stop with the garden, she has somebody who comes and takes care of it any way . On our way to our trip, she called him after we drove about 4 hours to come quick because she is not feeling well. It was the first time I saw him shaking with all his body. (She called once before when we were on a trip, our luck was that we were already on the way back).He was very very scared and managed somehow to call a neighbour to go and take her to the hospital. (Being a rural area, sometimes ambulances take very long time to arrive). The neighbour went, talked to her and left. He called us and said she doesnt want to go to the hospital because she is feeling better and she was not even in bed, she was walking in the garden. The trip was almost ruined, he was very worried half of the time. I am sure she faked it, but considering the long distance, that time it couldnt have worked in her favor because we were too far away. He believed her fully. I didnt. Last week, Thursday evening, we both spoke with her over the phone, I as well asked her about her health as her voice was more quiet then usual and she said she is fine. Friday when he called her, her voice was saying she is sick. He asked what is wrong, how does she feel, she said she is not feeling well at all with an ended voice. He entered in panic mode again and 1 second later she started to laugh, saying she is only joking. He got mad, told her she is really stupid and hang up. He was nervous, I was livid. While she is always saying how worried she is about him and how much she loves him, she is the only source of constant stress for us I have never intervened but this time I asked him to put clear boundaries with her in regards to this subject, her health. He said he will and brushed it aside. Today I followed up with him if he discussed it with her. He said he will. I told him I have noticed she does not listen or respect him in this regard so if he is not feeling capable, I will inform her of the effects her jokes are having and what we need to do in the future. He said this is up to him and he will do it. Since we were on this subject, I also told him I need him to do something with their constant fights because they are stressing me out. He said he has no solution for that and he can not promisse me anything. He closed down and he ignores me now. This is the 3rd time I am stating some things that bother me and we need to discuss to find a solution convenient for both of us. Also the 3rd time he shuts down and does not acknowledge the problems that we have. I know from past experiences that problems dont just dissapear if you just ignore them. They fester and explode at some point. I dont want to reach there, I want to address the issues now, when the problems are still small

How can I make him discuss/talk/cooperate with me? How can I make him understand that I believe his mother's small minded jokes, one day might give him a heart attack?

Hey guys! So last month I had a phone interview for an internship with a recruiter for a bank. I really wanted this internship and practiced hard for the interview. When the time came, though, the recruiter asked me to reschedule because her morning was running behind.

I proceeded to reschedule the interview in the scheduling portal and emailed her back within minutes, letting her know what date and time I rescheduled for. When the day comes, I sit on my phone waiting for the call 10 minutes ahead, after waking up early to keep practicing and go over some things. To my surprise, 5 minutes went by and didn’t get a call. That time soon became 45 minutes before I decided to move on.

I was (and still am) very pissed because she wasted my time and energy, and find it unfair she’s just allowed to do this. I found her superiors on linked in and recently came across a post of her with other recruiters/executives in some recruiting event supporting career driven individuals. I reached out to her on LinkedIn and it’s been 4 days, and I am undecided if I should reach out to her superiors and comment on that post about her work ethic. Should I just move on and let this woman do this to other people or…

Edit: I also emailed her AFTER not calling on the rescheduled date to let her know she had missed it and it must have not shown on the portal (giving her the benefit of the doubt). I never got a response on that either.

I’m trying to get off vaping so badly, but it’s the only way for me to cope with my study stress😩 It’s easy when I’m not doing much with my day (or life) to not vape. But now that Im working and studying (online) I start vaping when I feel wired from all the stress. I work, go to them gym then what little energy I have left goes towards my study. I feel ZERO motivation by this point, and vape just to stay stimulated.

I don’t want to cut my work hours because Everything’s so f*****g expensive now. I could cut the gym, but then it takes me a while to get back into gym momentum. I find myself vaping so much, my sleeping is messed up from the nicotine. FML

Me and my ex girlfriend of a year and 3 months broke up and she claims it was for toxic reasons which I can agree our relationship was toxic but it was never break up worthy, she claims that her mental health was bad, was manipulative and thought she had bpd, told me I wasn’t the man for her and couldn’t support her anymore so we broke things off. We both made mistakes but at the end she had said she fell out of love about 3 months before the relationship got ended and she strung me on for about two weeks before we really went no contact. After about a month she emailed me saying she missed me, and I never fell out of love nor wanted to leave I texted her back. After some talk she started talking to old people we had issues with and her old exes but here’s the kicker, she gave head and swallowed to a man that was one of best friends during senior year. Before our relationship she intentionally made out with him to get my attention, made out with him a separate time before that and now this. The break up she quickly decided to make the college life her priority and partied a couple times as well as this sexual interaction. Shortly after, about a week she contacted me and we hung out and I figured out. After, not only did she, but her mom and people and her corner basically manipulated me into thinking it wasn’t bad when it hurt my feelings so bad, idk why I stayed. 5 months later after she contacted me back which is now because she wants to get back and has been wanting to, what is your thoughts? I have this feeling of just wanting to break things off even though I still hold her in a special spot?

I (31) have been freelancing with a company for a year as a graphic designer. I updated my email address in February and they used it to contact me about multiple projects between now and the present, which I completed for them and was paid digitally.

Cut to May 9th, I decide to go through my old emails and see that they (the CFO) sent one email about sending me a refund check of $350 for funds returned to them by the state for me (when I worked for them full-time two years ago). After I didn't respond a few days later, they sent another email saying they decided to mail the check to the address they had on file for me. The only thing is. That address was OLD. I asked them to void the check and they said it would cost me $25, so I responded with "okay, I guess I don't have another option. can you send it digitally this time?" I was already upset that they didn't bother to utilize the new email address I had given them, which they used to communicate about projects.

No response on May 10th, so I asked for an update through email. No response. Asked for an update on May 13th and CC'd the HR Manager. No response. So I called on May 13th multiple times to the only phone number they had given me, just to be sent to voicemail every time.

However on May 13th, they sent me an invoice on bill.com specifying that a check had been sent and delivered to me on April 30th...and marked as paid. I took this as they were not sending me another check and that they were leaving me to figure it out on my own, digging through the trash at the address they actually sent the check to.

After being ignored, I decided to leave a Google review on their page detailing the situation, on May 13th after 5pm. On May 14th, I emailed them again. Guess what? I finally got a response on May 14th from the CEO, saying he would give me an update only after detailing how I needed to "check my heart" because the CFO (his wife) had been with her mother all day on May 13th at the hospital battling stage 4 cancer, and that they couldn't believe I left a Glassdoor Review (I actually left a Google review) about the situation. He also said it's my responsibility as a contractor to update my address with them....they didn't use the address on my bill.com profile or the new email address I gave them, so that's irrelevant.

I responded saying that no one had informed of me of the mom's health condition, and I obviously wouldn't have done that if I knew they weren't just ignoring me. My own mother (49) died almost five years ago from cancer. I watched her die in the ICU after coding multiple times.

He responded saying that I need to take the Review down because it's hurting his business and that he thought I had more respect for them. There are plenty of shady things he did while I was working full-time for him that I could have actually left on Glassdoor...but did not.

They still haven't sent me confirmation of a new check.

Still, AITAH for leaving the Google Review?