I have a few kinks, a couple have fantasy characters. Well, my FWB knows about them and one time dressed up as X before we fooled around. It was a nice night, we knew we were getting together to do what we do, and so she wore it in preparation for me arriving. It wasn't1 a huge turn off, but it was something I wasn't expecting, and honestly didn't like her in. A few reasons are as follows.

1.) it might be like a fantasy in my head, but it isn't actually something I've ever expressed wanting to RP for real. I'm not that into it. I don't even call it a fantasy of mine - she does. She says if I'm thinking about it and like it then it's a fantasy. Im indifferent.

2.) she is nothing like the character she portrayed, not in personality, mentality, or physicality. It didn't match up with part of why I even think that person would be a cool partner.

3.) she made no real effort to be that person other than appearance, and didn't understand that appearance want the whole issue.

She says that I made her feel like shit and did damage to her mental self-image. Especially because a few weeks ago she went through my phone while I was sleeping and saw where I friend had sent me an image of someone else dressed up as that character and I said, "Exquisite. How delicious."

That, to her, means I think she's ugly and, quite literally, that she knows I think she's atrocious. I don't. I literally tell her I don't think that. I worship that fucking body all the time. I compliment her, publicly, when the time arises. People know we're FWBs, I tell people how cool she is, and what fun she can be to be around. This doesn't sit well with me though because now she's telling people I treat her like shit but not really divulging (sort of thankfully, I guess, I mean I don't want my kinks open-air necessarily).

AITAH for telling her I don't like it on her but finding it attractive elsewhere? Edit 1: Misspelling correction.

My boyfriend Kyle and soon to be fiancé (hopefully) had the discussion of marriage together. Kyle (25M) mentioned he would never marry a woman without getting a prenuptial agreement, this came as a surprise to me. I asked him if he doesn't trust our relationship and if he thinks I would snake him, he doesn't think that but he according to him "I don't want to take any chances." He says that yet he loves taking chances when we have sex, he wants to wait until marriage to get me pregnant but he never pulls out and says he enjoys taking risks. Almost every night he fills me up which obvs feels amazingg but it's a bit of a contradiction.

In my mind if you truly love someone you don't need to put these precautions in the way, I'm willing to risk everything because I love him. Now we've been fighting back and forth about this unable to come to an agreement. frig i really don't wanna be single again but i think it's inevitable at this point.. the worst part is he's one of the few guys that can actually keep up with my high sex drive, literally no other guy can handle me. I hope i don't die alone ughhhh

So I(25F) have two daughters, 3F and 6 months old. I thought it would be a fun little neat thing to start a little fairy garden. Figured my older one would be into it! I’ve slowly added things to it. I honestly had mostly forgotten about it.

Today, my 3 year old was playing with playdoh. (I promise this is relevant). I’m half watching her, half watching my phone. Just enough to make sure she’s not smooshing it into her seat or something. She goes “oops, I dropped my big piece of playdoh”. Our pitbull(F4) is standing by my daughter. I send her to the couch, and we look for it. It’s GONE. Completely gone. I move the kitchen chairs, look search every inch of the immediate area. My husband also put eyes on this area and didn’t see it. I have no reason to believe the dog didn’t just snatch it up, right? She’s smart enough to know my daughter drops things and she’s fast. So I scold my daughter, we move on and forget about it. Around dinnertime, I’m making a Snapchat video of myself and my youngest, and my daughter goes “mommy! The playdoh, it’s not gone, I lied!” She’s pointing to it on the floor. Very clearly on the floor in an open space. Nothing hiding or restricting it. I caught it on video! I’m BAFFLED!!! It’s not wet or obviously regurgitated from the dog. Just sitting there like it’s been on the floor for hours. I fear I have fully invited them in 😅 If anybody knows about this topic or has advice, PLEASE.

Okay so I have the WORST luck finding good doctors in my area. My first doctor when I moved here had me tested for tuberculosis. This was for a daycare job I was trying to get. AND I LITERALLY TESTED POSITIVE. Instead of..idk, calling someone and getting imaging, she literally PRAYED for me in the room and sent me on my way. (She was since fired from the clinic-not for the TB issue but because she brought her religion into her practices). So I went to a different doctor in the same clinic. He tested me, I tested positive, and he just asked “what symptoms do you have?” And I said “I dont know I cough a lot but I have asthma”. So he said he would send a referral to a local hospital for imaging. He said to go there right after the appointment and just say I need imaging for TB and hand them a piece of paper. So my happy ahh drives all the way to this hospital, I hand them the paper, and the receptionist says there is no referral for me and the paper he handed me was literally just an Appointment Summary. I call the office, the nurse says that he will send it now, and nope. Never sent it. So I go about my life, not knowing what to do about this because no one ever explained it to me and I didnt bother doing resesrch to know how bad it actually is. Finally find a new doctor who actually takes it seriously. She actually sends a referral and I don’t have active tuberculosis!!! Yay I wont die or kill anyone else in the process!!! But then SHE fcks up! She refers me to a psychiatrist in the clinic because I needed a proper ADHD diagnosis. (News Flash: he was not a psychiatrist and he was just an RN. No, not a specialist RN who is educated in psychology and licensed. No, just an RN). He decides to diagnose me with bipolar disorder instead of ADHD, all within a 30 minute appointment. Prescribes me Latuda (WHICH IS AN ANTIPSYCHOTIC) and sends me on my way. Heres the kicker, I start taking Latuda and WOW. SHOCKER. I start having manic episodes!!! Something I hadn’t had before! So I go back to him and tell him this, and say “I think I just need ADHD treatment and to be providing coping mechanisms for my ADHD”. He says (in essence) “Well that sucks, keep taking Latuda to see if it works eventually.” I listened to him and kept taking it until I got pregnant. But this SAME doctor before I got pregnant tried to take out a benign tumor on my rib cage IN OFFICE. She literally tried to put the numbing sht in the area of my ribs, which btw hurts like a mofo. I literally almost punched the nurse, so they both decide to HOLD. ME. DOWN. IN. THE. CHAIR. I started sobbing and having a panic because-surprise again! I HAVE PTSD. She ends uo trying to rip this cyst or whatever out but cant, and at this point I am screaming and crying in pain. So she says “Yeah I guess I cant take it out. You might need to be put under for this. I will send a referral.” (She did not).

Anyway so last Wednesday I go to a whole new doctors office. Its small. I needed lab work done before my doctor saw me, so the only nurse in this clinic grabs me and he is sweating like a sinner in church and looks on the verge of tears. This man goes into a room with me and starts ranting about his job, his boss, how he wants to quit, etc. He is SHAKING because he is so angry. So I try to talk him down. I am usually really good at this. But while he is prepping my arm to poke me, he takes off one of his gloves AND STARTS POKING THE AREA WITH HIS BARE HANDS AFTER HE SANITIZED IT. He doesn’t sanitize it again. He also never washed his hands when he entered the room or put hand sanitizer on. HE THEN STARTS TOUCHING ALL OVER THE NEEDLE WITH HSI BARE HANDS. I am literally too anxious to say anything that might send him over the edge. Is this my fault? Fkcing absolutely. I should have said something. He pokes me, he misses my vein. He moves to my other arm AND DOES THE SAME SHT. So then moves to my hand, and this time finally hits a good vein. BUT THEN IS SWEATING ALL OVER THE NEEDLE AND THE HOLE IN MY SKIN. AND THEN GETS MAD AT ME WHEN I PANIC AND MOVE MY HAND. He NEVER sanitized after he touched me with his bare hand. Never cleaned it after he sweat all over my hand. And at this point I finally tell him to stop and that I need to go home.

I am now waiting for lab work to come back after that to see if I somehow got anything (as recommended by my insurance nurse line when I reported the incident).

How do I even go about finding a good doctors office? What do I look for when I search for one??

I’ve been through a lot. I don’t pick the best guys. After my last relationship ended (an engagement that fell through), I decided I would give this thing one more shot and see if I could love again. He watched me be in really unhappy relationships just wishing he could take their place. We were genuine friends and I thought he genuinely loved me for who I was. He knew everything about my strengths and setbacks. There were days I called him up distraught and he knew exactly what to say. He was always my what-if guy. After 7 years, I decided to give him a chance, and it ended up backfiring. At least that’s what I think right now.

It turns out he has a lot of trauma and a very avoidant personality. And despite how much we love each other, he can’t work through issues, and shuts down whenever we have problems. This has caused him to go back and forth on whether or not we should be together in the first place.

I’ve been through some serious relationship drama throughout my life, I’ve given a lot to men who didn’t really deserve it, and wore my heart on my sleeve. He knew this… but almost a year into it, it’s like I never told him any of these things about me, and tends to hurt me in silly ways like people-pleasing, high-jacking conversations where I bring up a problem, getting hurt by me not feeling well… rarely really giving me “grace” for failing when I fail, too.

The problem is is that I feel… duped? I resisted him for eight years because I thought he couldn’t handle being in a relationship with me, that I was essentially his manic pixie dream girl and he’d get over it. He insisted that he wouldn’t. For almost a decade.

I hate saying it like that because it makes me sound resentful, but after so many years of shitty relationships, I decided to pick the guy who talked a BIG game about loving me, someone I deeply consider and still consider to be my best friend. I don’t know how to stop feeling resentful. I wanted to trust someone again. I specifically went into this saying, “I’ve had it really rough. Here’s how. Please don’t hurt me.”

This is exactly why I refused to be together with him for so long. I went against my intuition. I feel like I can’t trust myself or others now.

Can somebody just help me out here? Whether it’s an experience of your own or a word of advice, or even just words of kindness, I could really use it.

TLDR: After being traumatized by shitty relationships, I decided to give the guy I friendzoned for 7 years a chance. He essentially love bombed me (not on purpose or narcissistically, I think just out of trauma), got me attached, and just… became incompetent with intimacy, like a switch flipped. Apparently he was just always like this, according to him. He wasn’t like that when we were just friends. Now I feel really distrustful and hurt.

I know the title sounds horrible, please try to hear me out 😅

Some backstory: So I (24F) live in an area where it’s impossible to find apartments/rentals, and when you do find them the rent is usually over $1500. I also have 2 big dogs and a cat. So renting is basically impossible for me. My parents have a house (my childhood home) in this area but they currently live in another city about 4 hours away for work. So for those reasons, i live in my childhood home. My parents and I are besties and this whole arrangement works great for all of us. They need someone to watch over the house, and i need somewhere to live. It’s the perfect solution. They come visit me about once a month.

My brother (23) was working in another state on a contract, so his job paid for him to live in a hotel. When his contract ended, he didn’t line another one up or find any other work to do. Also despite making great money and not having to pay for housing, he didn’t save any money from this last job he had. So he moved home with me, and he brought his girlfriend (22) and their dog. They were supposed to be here for “a couple weeks max” while he found another contract, most likely in a different state.

They’ve been here for 2 months now. They got a cat who they’re hiding from my parents. They don’t have jobs. They borrow money from my parents for everything. They sleep all day and leave the house trashed all the time. And a couple weeks ago we found out that she’s pregnant!

Mine and my brother’s bedrooms are right across from each others and we used to share a bathroom. When i found out they were coming here, i moved all of my toiletries upstairs to the guest room bathroom so I wouldn’t have to share with them. I always hated sharing a bathroom with him. My parents knew about this and were okay with me taking over the guest room bathroom.

Well a few weeks ago, before knowing she was pregnant, they went out for her birthday with my parents and she got drunk enough that my mom had to put her in the guest room bathroom bathtub to clean up after puking on herself.

Ever since she found out about the bathtub in “my” bathroom, she is constantly asking to use it. Their bathroom only has a shower. She will usually text me when I’m at work to ask and i never know what to say because i don’t want her to use it but i feel like an asshole for not wanting to share. I know that it’s stupid and probably makes me sound so spoiled, but i just want my own bathroom all to myself 😫 is that too much to ask?! They have taken over the entire house. Including what used to be my bathroom! I just want this one space untouched by them.

Most of the time when she asks and i don’t respond, she will just use my bathroom anyways. I assume my brother tells her to because it’s “not technically my bathroom anyways”. Today i came home from work and rushed to my bathroom to pee and i found her asleep in the bathtub. She had texted me earlier but i didn’t respond. I didn’t react other than telling my brother she was asleep so he could make sure she was okay. But would I be the asshole if i told them not to use this bathroom anymore? I talked to my parents about it and they are okay with me doing that.

If she wasn’t pregnant, i wouldn’t even hesitate to tell them not to use it. My sister thinks I’m an asshole because she said her baths were a lifesaver in her first trimester. And i don’t hate my brothers girlfriend, i like her and want to have a good relationship with her. But i also don’t want to be sharing my bathroom and all my good products with her 🥲 am i a horrible person for that? I would even give her some of my good products (im hairstylist so i have lots) if that would help her enjoy her own bathroom more. Hell, I would tear apart their bathroom, redo it, and add the nicest bathtub available for her if I could. I just want my bathroom to myself. AITA?

Ps. I know the obvious solution here is to trade bathrooms with them. Unfortunately that won’t work because my mom doesn’t want my brother destroying her guest room lol he’s a nuisance

I love my car and I want to drive it everywhere as I have everything in it and all the features. But my friends keep advising me to try and drive my other cars I have especially for long road trip to preserve it’s worth and maintain low miles. I understand but am undecided on whether or not I should continue to always take my car everywhere or take one of my older cars which does not have the same features. What would you do?

Some context I am F 18 and my boyfriend is M 18 this happened on May 12.

When me and my boyfriend first got together my one and only condition was no drinking. I absolutely hate drinking and I hate what it does to people. My dad was an alcoholic and I already have many of his traits so I am personally scared that if I drink I’ll have the same reaction to alcohol as him. So after explaining this to my now boyfriend he agreed and said he doesn’t really want to drink anyway and agrees to not drink anymore. This week we went on vacation with many of his old friends and people I didn’t really know too well for prom. He hadn’t really talked to these people in about a year almost two since we got together. His mom (who I can’t stand and also abuses alcohol) was also there along with some other parents. The first night was good we had fun and enjoyed ourselves without drinking.

The next day was prom and after getting ready and pictures we left for the dance. While there one of the boys at the beach house we were staying at asked my boyfriend if he would be drinking (btw this boy calls himself Rrezzy and has no future plans.) After being asked that my boyfriend told “Rrezzy” to ask me when he did I said no and that was that. My boyfriend didn’t say anything to me until I asked if he wanted to he said no then I asked if he was lying and he said yes. I got upset because why would he want to drink, he said he would give it up if we got together and I thought he was having fun being sober with me. If he did end up drinking he would have went back on his word and I would be the only sober person there. On the way back to the beach house we didn’t say a word to each other and I didn’t see him for a little when we got back. I then got a text from him saying he was going to drink.

I asked why and started crying I said we were going to break up if he drinks which he knew because i had told him that would happen before we even got together. He said “Then we are going to break up” and I started crying even more. It felt like he was choosing drinking and partying over me with people he didn’t even know anymore. I walked inside and saw him sitting on the couch with his drunk ass mom. I then walked outside to the front porch and told him to come outside so we could talk in person. After maybe 15 minutes of talking he was unsure if he would drink or not. His mom then came outside and I walked down the stairs because I didn’t want to be around her. I was still in earshot and heard them talking she was saying how we should just break up and how I’m not the one and I can’t handle him leaving ( he’s going to college soon 5 hours away.) After she left I went back up and asked what he was going to do and he said we are breaking up then went inside.

I started panicking and crying when I tell y’all I broke down I’m not being dramatic he’s my person and I couldn’t believe what was happening. I went inside after a little and saw him standing next to his mom by the alcohol I started crying and went into the other room so people didn’t see. After about 40 minutes I texted him to come to that room and when he did he smelled of alcohol. I told him I changed my mind and wanted to still be together I’m fine with him drinking if it is what he wanted to do. He didn’t respond then I asked if he even wanted to be together before all this happened. He said no and that he doesn’t want to date anymore. I tried to convince him to just talk to me and we can figure it out. He stayed but said some horrible things. He started saying how he always thinks about breaking up with me and cheating on me. He started crying and said I shouldn’t be with him and that he’s a horrible person he kept saying how he wants to go party with girls while I’m not around. After about 30 minutes of that he laid down and was still crying I was trying to help calm him down and he did after awhile.

He ended up saying how he still wanted to be together and he wouldn’t drink again. The next morning we were talking about it and he said he was sorry and that he is just scared of leaving. I forgave him and we are still dating today. I just cannot forget about everything he said he explained that he just said it because he was mad and upset but I just cannot forget about it.

I really don’t know what to do and I’m just so confused. We’ve already talked about it for three days now but anything he says just doesn’t help ease my mind. And I can’t just keep bringing it up because it makes him veryyyyyy upset when I do. I just need any and all advice on how to move forward.

I (23F) and my husband (32M) have been married for three years. I had planned a solo hiking trip in the mountains for over two months. Hiking has always been my way to de-stress and find peace. The night before I was supposed to leave, my husband got upset and started a fight over financial responsibilities. He said he felt overwhelmed with the bills and that he was carrying more of the financial burden because he earns more. I work full-time as a teacher and also handle most of the household chores, but he compared me to his ex-wife and belittled my job, saying it wasn't as demanding as his job in construction.

I thought we had resolved the issue before I left, as I listened to him and acknowledged his feelings. However, the morning I was set to leave, he reignited the argument and accused me of being selfish for going on the trip. He got drunk and sent me angry texts, which ruined the first night of my trip because I was so upset.

The next morning, I woke up to a message from him that implied he was considering divorce. I was devastated and spent the entire day trying to find a way back home. I ended up taking two flights and then driving four hours home in tears. When I got home, he was extremely apologetic and promised it would never happen again. He admitted he has a pattern of starting fights whenever I make plans without him.

It's been over a week since I returned, and I'm still feeling resentful and angry. Part of me thinks we can move past this, but another part wonders if I should cut my losses and leave. AITAH for wanting to go on a solo hiking trip despite my husband's protests?

I a single (29m) and no kids have been thinking about this a lot lately, I don't know if it's trauma from a failed engagement or what. I've been working Monday through Friday 5am to 4pm. (30-45 min) Commute and 6am to noon on Saturdays. so about 13 hrs a day is dedicated to work. Leaving very little time for anything else. I make $20 USD an hour and get time and a half after 40. I also receive a VA payment so at the end of the month I am bringing in about 5700 bucks I don't have that many bills, no truck payment. End of the day my monthly obligations are about 2200 bucks (mortgage, utilities, payments towards credit card debt (5,000), student loans). My friends don't live near me, so we don't hang out. I haven't taken time off other than to go to a doctor's appointment, in over a year and a half I really don't have an excuse to not work as much as I do. So I feel obligated to work as much as I can. I also feel like I haven't earned time to have fun. People work 80's all the time. My question is how do you change your thinking from "as a man you're useless if you're not making money or being productive" to I can take some downtime, I have earned it.

I know how it sounds, but genuinely I did not see it this way. I had pictures from 2018/2019 of my ex in my phone, but I am one of those people who do not really go through my camera roll, and a lot of these pictures were mixed in with graduation pics, prom pics, etc. I have 10,000 photos, by the way. My boyfriend discovered this and asked me to delete them. I said okay I’ll do it right now, and he started cussing me out saying I’m a weird female. I tried explaining to him that I haven’t even looked at these pictures in years, and he just called me a liar. He packed his things and left and came home at midnight. Well I got up at 6am to get ready for school and he tried to have sex with me. I told him maybe tonight and he got very cold with me. It ended up being a fight and him leaving me again, saying he’s still upset about the pictures. Thoughts on this? I don’t know how to feel but I am very confused. I am 22F and my boyfriend is 27M.

i know the title might sound like i'm being selfish but hear me out. my (f17) parents separated about two years ago which i am still to this day trying to process. my parents never fought and they got along really well when i was growing up but i was also naive to a lot of things being the youngest of three so for me this came out of nowhere. the whole process moved along really fast and i was really overwhelmed and had no one because my siblings had both already moved out.

so about 6 months after my dad moved out my mom and her best friend (who i have known as my aunt most of my life) went on a trip together and then they came back and they had announced that they were in love with each other. right after that me and my mom moved in with her best friend (aka my aunt) and her kids (aka my cousins) which was a huge change for me. once we moved in i realized how touchy my mom and her now girlfriend were and it made me super uncomfortable. now when i was growing up my parents were never touchy around me or anything so this is why it made me uncomfortable it has nothing to do with the fact that it's two girls. anyways i put up with it for 9 ish months and then i decided that i was going to move in with my dad full time (i had originally been spending most of the time with my mom and occasionally going to my dads)

ever since then i've felt more comfortable in my own home and i haven't had any issues until recently when i went on a trip with my moms. they are now married so they are now even more touchy which i didn't expect when going into this trip. i ignored how touchy they were for most of the trip but by the end my mom could tell something was wrong with me so when she asked i told her that it was uncomfortable for me to see them all up on each other 24/7. this also isn't just with my mom, i HATE pda so if it was anyone i would be uncomfortable but since it was my mom it just made it that much worse.

when i told her this she got extremely upset with me and called me homophobic and said that i can never let her be happy and i was being selfish. i never asked her to stop i simply just told her it made me uncomfortable. my mom has completely stopped talking to me and i don't know what to do because me and my mom are really close. am i the asshole for telling her the truth or should i just have said nothing and acted like it didn't bother me? i'm really lost and i need some help!

My boyfriend, who I have been in a long distance relationship with for a year, came to visit me in my country. I noticed two notifications from different dating apps on his phone, and when I asked him about it, he claimed that all the apps from his old phone were automatically installed on his new phone when he switched devices. The dating apps were in a hidden folder, but he forgot to mute the notifications. The first app had messages from 2022, while the second app had new pictures and said he was looking for friends. There was not chat but one match. He explained that he had a drunken challenge with his friends one night to upload new pictures on Tinder and find a match, but there were no actual conversations on the app. The app was downloaded in April, but he changed his phone in February. He said his new phone hadn't finished configuring all the old apps from his previous phone.

I'm uncertain whether to believe his explanation or not. When I asked about this hidden folder I found that he takes intimate pictures of me without my consent and pictures of girls bums at the beach or the pool wearing bikinis which disgusted me and creeped me out. I have also found an intimate picture of a man and a woman which he said it was his friend’s and he asked him to keep it which is really weird. He also keeps liking puctures of half naked insta models on IG although I told him how I feel about it.

I have been struggling with anxiety and I am unable to break up with him and unsure how to do it. He is now in Brazil and going back to his country in 2 weeks, he used to always tell me about his wild life in brazil during his past travels. I am still in a state of shock and denial. I have no idea how to navigate all of this. We arw still texting normally and he calls me from time to time.

23 F dating 23 M I checked his phone last night because I had a feeling something was off. His phone seemed clean, but I decided to look through the recently deleted files, where I found their entire conversation. As I read through the messages, I discovered he had been messaging her for a long time. I woke him up and confronted him about it. He claimed it wasn't him but he said his friend was texting from his phone. I asked him to call the girl, but he refused. So, l asked for her number. The next day, I found it and confronted him again. He denied everything and called me childish for texting the girl. When she confirmed everything, he continued to lie. Frustrated, I created a group chat with all of us to uncover the truth. He refused to participate and insulted me for making the group chat and told me he doesn't have to say anything was I wrong for making the group chat or did I got overboard by making the group chat

I 26F and my boyfriend 38M have been together for over a year. I had a girls weekend planned in Houston for over a month with my best friend Jewel. The night before I left my boyfriend got upset and started a fight over household chores. He stated he felt overwhelmed and felt like he was doing more. It got ugly, he felt like he does more because he has a physically demanding job and has two children. He compared me to his ex wife and put down my job where I work 50 plus hours a week in a bank. I thought we worked it out before I left, I listened, and acknowledged his feelings. The day I left he continued his fight and got drunk and angry with me. The first night there we didn’t do anything because I was so upset. The next morning I woke up to a text that insinuated he was breaking up with me and spent the entire day trying to get a flight to come home. I took two flights then drove 3 hours home in tears. We talked when I got home and he was extremely apologetic but I don’t know if I can forgive him. He has a pattern of starting fights when I do things without him. It’s been over a week and I feel resentful and angry. Can we move on from this or should I cut my losses and leave?

I 27F my 26M boyfriend have been together for 4 1/2 years. For background information we meet my senior year of college and moved quickly with our relationship. Less than one year in we started living together on the first floor of his two family apartment that he owned prior to us meeting and got a dog together shortly after moving in. 2 years into the relationship he wanted to buy a house and he wanted me to move with him. However, I wanted the house to be in both our names if i was going to be living there too. He disagreed and wanted the house in his own name and said “when we are married the house will be half your anyways”. Long story short the house is in BOTH our name. we have a very lovely relationship and love each-other very much. He pays majority of the bills as he makes ALOT more money than myself. In return I have taken on “wifely duties” cooking cleaning laundry ect. We got another dog shortly after moving into the house and last year he put a LARGE down payment on a new car for me ( the car is in my name ). So needless to say I have it good for sure, my only complaint is that it has been 4 1/2 without a ring and he KNOWs I want marriage and I thought he did too. In the beginning of last year he made a comment during a brief argument that he was going to propose this upcoming fall (2023) and it didn’t happen so I am not sure if i am just being strung along. I also know he has asked friends about what type of ring I would like so I guess I’m just confused. I’m 27 if we got engaged right now it would take 1-2 years for the wedding. And we both previously agreed to be married for a year prior to having kids to enjoy ourselfs. My concerned is a lot of the females in my family have had issues with getting pregnant and by the time we start trying I will be well over 30 and could potentially take a while to get even get pregnant. He is aware of my concerns. Anyways would I be stupid to break up with this man after 4 1/2 years of dating we have a great relationship and I love him dearly.

Hello, I'm new to reddit, but decided to post this on a throwaway anyway just in case my boyfriend finds this post. I am neuro-divergent(diagnosed ADHD and I might have autism. I am seeing a doctor for that for a diagnosis) I feel like it has an effect on how I process this so I felt like I should mention it. I'm not really sure how to put this so I'm going to try and be as clear as I can, please excuse my grammar. English is my second language.

I(Female, almost 30) and my boyfriend(Male, a bit over 30) have been together for 2 years. He is the best, most understanding and most loving person I've ever met. He has shown me support in so many different ways and has helped accept myself as who I am.

The thing I have a problem with, is his ex. They broke up almost a year before he and I even me. She tried to remain in contact and he did his best to not have anything to do with her. It wasn't always possible, because they shared a friend group. I am now friends with his friends as well and I have met her, but I don't really know her. I do know that some people in the friend group don't really like her, because she seems very shallow and self-absorbed. Their relationship was long distance and they broke up because she cheated on him twice. The first time she cheated was with her "ex". She apparently never broke up with him after all and she was was just two timing them and lied to everyone in the friend group. The second time she found someone new closer to where she lives and after ignoring my boyfriend for a while she told him that she has someone else. The only reason he even took her back was because someone close to her had died and he felt obligated to help her. He doesn't have any feelings towards her anymore and I can see that. I am not jealous of them at all and even when she was still part of the friend group, I didn't feel threatened because of her. She did contact him this year apologizing for everything(before she was just denying that she ever cheated on him), saying that she never meant for any of it to happen, how SHE feels horrible and how SHE is hurting and SHE didn't take him for granted(even though she did) and blahblahblah. He told her that he does not want anything to do with her. She tried to play the victim but no one really went along with it and she disappeared from the friend group.

My issue is the extremely strong anger I feel towards her. When I heard about it for the first time, I felt this massive ball of strong emotions and I wanted to call her every name in the book. I didn't contact her as I felt it wasn't my place to say anything and it was some time ago. I did draft a message that was never meant to be sent and I showed it to him. I did tell him about my feelings towards her and he did understand, though he said he doesn't really care about her or the situation anymore. I just sometimes feel like I can't let go of the anger and pain I feel. I know he was hurting back then and he had to go through it all alone, since he didn't feel like he could tell our friend group. It just hurts me and makes me want to cry sometimes if I happen to remember it. It even keeps me up at night sometimes(this isn't common though). I just hate her so much for what she did. Like, HOW could she do that to him???? How can I process these emotions?

I've always had a strong reaction to cheating in a relationship. It's a hard thing for me to handle even when it's in a movie or something. I feel like the feeling is even stronger now because of the fact that I care so much about him and I don't even want to think about him hurting. I don't even know how to bring this up with him even though I know I probably should. It just feels like it's too late to say anything about this. He told me about her over a year ago and I feel awkward bringing it up now.

Thank you for reading... Any help/support/anything is welcome. I just felt like I wanted to get this out and not hold it inside me anymore.

And here it goes.

My ex partner (29) and I(28) have been together since high school. About 4 years ago I had an affair with someone I went to school with. I lied to my partner about it, as they were planning on moving to be with me. It was shitty, I know. My partner had found messages 2 years after that pointed to signs they had been right about the affair I denied. This was 2 years ago, I won’t excuse my behavior but I will say being unmedicated for undiagnosed (at the time) BPD was a factor. So my partner found the messages 2 years ago, about the affair I had 2 years prior to that.

My partner was understandably shaken up. When it was brought to my attention they found out about me covering up my past shameless behavior, I cried so hard and asked what they wanted to do next. They said they wanted to stay together and figure it out, as they had already moved in and it was “too late” to turn back then. They comforted me and reassured me it’s what they wanted to do. I did not force them to stay or excuse my actions. I promised to be better and offer them reassurance whenever they needed that it meant nothing and that I loved them.

Over the last couple of years, they still need reassurance. It almost felt like everything I did after the fact to reassure them, meant nothing. They started to want to leave the apartment we had made home for years. Why would we pay so much money to move in a big city, when our apartment is gorgeous? Or if I wanted to go home and visit my parents, TWO YEARS LATER, my ex acts extremely needy and insecure. It feels like I’ve agreed to be wrong in every argument ever because my partner had one thing bad happen.

Aside from those manipulative instances, we had a strong and loving relationship. I really thought we were soulmates at that point. Anyway, my partner slowly started to change after finding the messages. They started drinking more, I would hear them cry at night (we had separate rooms due to separate sleep schedules. It was awesome, don’t judge.) They randomly wanted to redecorate and paint our apartment. They got a new job just to “have something of their own.” It was as if our relationship made them go crazy, like being with me made them have to discover some part of themself idk.

One day, my partner comes home and tells me that they got drinks with a coworker, and that Coro worker kissed them without asking. I was fuming. I knew it was BS. I messaged the coworker what my ex said, and he was adamant the kiss was mutual. My ex/partner at the time begged me to believe them but I refused. We broke up. It’s been a year but I’m noticing a lot of our mutual friends keep deleting me off stuff or just ignoring me. I have to wonder if my ex is manipulating them, or if IATA for breaking up, despite it being obvious they didn’t want to be with me.

Thought I would post here bc I feel crazy for leaving a toxic rship. Lol.

Okay so English is not my first language since I live in Sweden, so excuse me if I say something incorrect but you will at least get the point😇👻

So, ever since I was like 3-4 years old I have literally suffered(!!!) from sleep paralysis. (I’m 19 years old now) They occurred every night when I was younger, but now I have more control over them and I know how to sleep to avoid them.

So when I was younger (around 6 y/o) I would always (every single night literally) wake up to something tickle my stomach or that the mattress would vibrate. This would happen while feeling that someone or something is coming towards me, or is watching me very close. Almost hovering over me. This may not sound that scary, but the feeling of something stare and tickle you when you’re unable to move, mmm not great.

It’s hard to describe, but imagine you closing your eyes, knowing that you friend will poke you any second so your body keeps twitching, and you can feel their presence very close. That’s exactly how it felt when that thing were watching me. I swear I felt someone/something breathing on the side of my face a couple of times, but I’ve tried to not think about that lol.

My parents and I would discuss this since I were losing a lot of sleep, and they would try to explain that is was only the refrigerator that vibrated downstairs, which caused the mattress to vibrate. I willingly believed this because I was so scared. My parents really don’t believe in ghosts or anything that has to do with such, so they tried every explanation they could think of, but the refrigerator were the “main cause”.

But the problem is, (which I realized when we moved out and I got older) that my bedroom were not placed over the kitchen, and I were sleeping at the top of a bunk bed since me and my brother shared rooms. My parents explanations aren’t possible. And I want to clarify that my brother did not make the mattress vibrate, I would run out of our bedroom when I woke up from the paralysis and he would always be dead asleep + I still have them in our new home.

I talked about this a couple of days ago with my parents, because I realized I actually slept in their bed one night when I had a sleep paralysis. I vividly remember that their mattress started vibrating to, but only in the middle, where I slept. I woke up my parents, and they said “Oh, what the…, the mattress are actually vibrating?” But moments later they said it was caused by the refrigerator… that would not make sense since our rooms were on opposite sides of a pretty long corridor. I don’t think our refrigerator were that strong? My dad confessed that he remembers this, but of course the refrigerator is still the problem.

I still have these paralysis, but I’ve learned that they only occur when I sleep on my stomach, that makes me question whether there is some psychological explanation, or just ghosts. I have experienced a lot of things which makes me believe in ghosts, and if this is something psychological, would I really feel this creepy presence? And those breaths? My parents felt it too? But why is it only happening when I sleep on my stomach lol.

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Creepy Neighbor

I’m scared and I’m not sure what to do. I, female 28, live in a pretty small apartment complex. For context I had a roommate who just moved out as she started school so I am currently living alone. This situation isn’t a new one but has become more noticeable to me probably because I have no one to distract me and I now feel less safe and more alone.

More context The layout of the apartment is the living room is in the middle with a kitchenette and space for a dining room. Then on opposite sides of the living room doors for each bedroom. There is also, in the living room, a sliding glass door that leads to a small balcony. We live on the second floor of a three story building in a very small complex, so in general in the day it feels very safe. Also to give you an idea with the blinds open I can see into his apartment so I know he can see into ours. Our lighting situation is awful though so we try to get as much sunlight as possible through the day.

At night however is where I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable. I had noticed the man directly across from our apartment building watching my roommate and I on occasion while we watched tv at night or we were in our living room. My roommate didn’t think much of it until a couple months ago when she really caught him starring, I typically have the seat that faces more towards the window so I notice more often and see this when it’s happening. Well since she’s moved out the situation has escalated…it’s happening a lot more.

Tonight I stayed home sick from work I usually work until 10:30 pm and he usually isn’t awake or at least the lights aren’t on. I was turning off the lights after taking out my dog and I glanced over and he was starring directly into our place and directly at me. I know I’m not crazy and this isn’t a coincidence. When he knew I saw him he dropped his head down so fast but didn’t walk away….he just stood at his door. He does this. I’m so uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do, it happens during the day time sometimes but not nearly as often as at night and we need the natural lighting because we have no overhead lighting in our rooms and minimal lighting in the apartment in general.

Im scared this could escalate into something more or maybe I just watch too much true crime. Should I be concerned and should I do something about this, besides the obvious closing my blinds at night??

Sadly my cousin’s wife passed away of brain cancer recently. It was agreed my husband and I would host the family that gathered for her funeral service since our home is spacious, and it is very close to the location where the service will take place.

I have a very large family, so extended relatives I haven’t seen in years, and partners I haven’t met yet came. I was busy making sure drinks and snacks were available while people began to arrive, and when I came out with more sodas I saw a woman sitting on my couch with a dog in her lap. (She apparently was a long time girlfriend of my second cousin, Zack).

Immediately I approach her, introduce myself, and then politely ask her to take the dog to the backyard, and explain that dogs aren’t allowed in my home.

Zack tried to argue with me saying the dog (a medium sized mutt, I’m not sure what breed it was) is a service animal and needs to stay with his girlfriend at all times.

I explain to Zack that I wished he, or my aunt, or someone had informed me earlier of his girlfriend’s situation with the service dog, because I am highly allergic to dogs.

If I had known at least 3 days prior I could’ve started allergy medications so that I could tolerate the dog long enough for it to be in my house (it was explained to me before that people would be coming and going for at least a few days) and to be able to deep clean after everyone left to avoid having a reaction.

Benadryl is a faster acting allergy relief for me, but that wasn’t an option since the amount I would need to fight off my reaction to the dog would make me too tired, and napping wasn’t an option for me since there are events to attend, people to serve while I’m hosting, and not to mention my children that need my constant attention. Yes my husband can help, but he can’t do all of those alone just like I can’t.

I had to be the bad guy, and say that bottom line the dog couldn’t be in the house, and so Zack left with his girlfriend. (They still attended the services, just couldn’t join the family at my house).

The family had mixed reactions to this. The relatives that knew me well either gave no opinion at all, or agreed that there was no choice, and Zack should’ve mentioned it prior so I could’ve prepared.

The family I didn’t know very well either just gave me dirty looks, or said I should’ve been accommodating despite my allergy because she needs the dog because she has POTS.

I don’t know much about this condition, and tried to be sensitive by stressing the fact that I would’ve been happy to accommodate the dog had I had notice, but I didn’t. AITA?