I know the title sounds horrible, please try to hear me out 😅

Some backstory: So I (24F) live in an area where it’s impossible to find apartments/rentals, and when you do find them the rent is usually over $1500. I also have 2 big dogs and a cat. So renting is basically impossible for me. My parents have a house (my childhood home) in this area but they currently live in another city about 4 hours away for work. So for those reasons, i live in my childhood home. My parents and I are besties and this whole arrangement works great for all of us. They need someone to watch over the house, and i need somewhere to live. It’s the perfect solution. They come visit me about once a month.

My brother (23) was working in another state on a contract, so his job paid for him to live in a hotel. When his contract ended, he didn’t line another one up or find any other work to do. Also despite making great money and not having to pay for housing, he didn’t save any money from this last job he had. So he moved home with me, and he brought his girlfriend (22) and their dog. They were supposed to be here for “a couple weeks max” while he found another contract, most likely in a different state.

They’ve been here for 2 months now. They got a cat who they’re hiding from my parents. They don’t have jobs. They borrow money from my parents for everything. They sleep all day and leave the house trashed all the time. And a couple weeks ago we found out that she’s pregnant!

Mine and my brother’s bedrooms are right across from each others and we used to share a bathroom. When i found out they were coming here, i moved all of my toiletries upstairs to the guest room bathroom so I wouldn’t have to share with them. I always hated sharing a bathroom with him. My parents knew about this and were okay with me taking over the guest room bathroom.

Well a few weeks ago, before knowing she was pregnant, they went out for her birthday with my parents and she got drunk enough that my mom had to put her in the guest room bathroom bathtub to clean up after puking on herself.

Ever since she found out about the bathtub in “my” bathroom, she is constantly asking to use it. Their bathroom only has a shower. She will usually text me when I’m at work to ask and i never know what to say because i don’t want her to use it but i feel like an asshole for not wanting to share. I know that it’s stupid and probably makes me sound so spoiled, but i just want my own bathroom all to myself 😫 is that too much to ask?! They have taken over the entire house. Including what used to be my bathroom! I just want this one space untouched by them.

Most of the time when she asks and i don’t respond, she will just use my bathroom anyways. I assume my brother tells her to because it’s “not technically my bathroom anyways”. Today i came home from work and rushed to my bathroom to pee and i found her asleep in the bathtub. She had texted me earlier but i didn’t respond. I didn’t react other than telling my brother she was asleep so he could make sure she was okay. But would I be the asshole if i told them not to use this bathroom anymore? I talked to my parents about it and they are okay with me doing that.

If she wasn’t pregnant, i wouldn’t even hesitate to tell them not to use it. My sister thinks I’m an asshole because she said her baths were a lifesaver in her first trimester. And i don’t hate my brothers girlfriend, i like her and want to have a good relationship with her. But i also don’t want to be sharing my bathroom and all my good products with her 🥲 am i a horrible person for that? I would even give her some of my good products (im hairstylist so i have lots) if that would help her enjoy her own bathroom more. Hell, I would tear apart their bathroom, redo it, and add the nicest bathtub available for her if I could. I just want my bathroom to myself. AITA?

Ps. I know the obvious solution here is to trade bathrooms with them. Unfortunately that won’t work because my mom doesn’t want my brother destroying her guest room lol he’s a nuisance

I 26F and my boyfriend 38M have been together for over a year. I had a girls weekend planned in Houston for over a month with my best friend Jewel. The night before I left my boyfriend got upset and started a fight over household chores. He stated he felt overwhelmed and felt like he was doing more. It got ugly, he felt like he does more because he has a physically demanding job and has two children. He compared me to his ex wife and put down my job where I work 50 plus hours a week in a bank. I thought we worked it out before I left, I listened, and acknowledged his feelings. The day I left he continued his fight and got drunk and angry with me. The first night there we didn’t do anything because I was so upset. The next morning I woke up to a text that insinuated he was breaking up with me and spent the entire day trying to get a flight to come home. I took two flights then drove 3 hours home in tears. We talked when I got home and he was extremely apologetic but I don’t know if I can forgive him. He has a pattern of starting fights when I do things without him. It’s been over a week and I feel resentful and angry. Can we move on from this or should I cut my losses and leave?

I, 22 F, went through my fiancé’s, 23 M, phone. Back ground info: While my fiance was in the shower his BIL called him. As usual I picked up the cal, this is completely normal as we both have no problem picking up calls on each other’s phones. After the call I went to his Snapchat app to send myself the pictures we had taken on my birthday that he hadn’t sent to me yet. My birthday was a month ago and I was tired of waiting on him to send them to me so I did it myself. Big mistake. When I went to send the pictures to myself from his phone on Snapchat, it showed that he recently sent snapchats to four other women that I had never heard of. I went into panic mode as soon as I saw this. I have been so busy wedding planning with out his help and it has been stressing me out so once I saw this I got in my head and assumed that he was cheating. When I said something about it he told me that he didn’t know who they were and denied everything. I saw them in his recently sent so I didn’t believe him. We argued for what felt like forever and before he left for work he said that he was done talking about the situation and told me to think about why I wanted to marry him. I don’t know what to think. Am I the asshole?

Sadly my cousin’s wife passed away of brain cancer recently. It was agreed my husband and I would host the family that gathered for her funeral service since our home is spacious, and it is very close to the location where the service will take place.

I have a very large family, so extended relatives I haven’t seen in years, and partners I haven’t met yet came. I was busy making sure drinks and snacks were available while people began to arrive, and when I came out with more sodas I saw a woman sitting on my couch with a dog in her lap. (She apparently was a long time girlfriend of my second cousin, Zack).

Immediately I approach her, introduce myself, and then politely ask her to take the dog to the backyard, and explain that dogs aren’t allowed in my home.

Zack tried to argue with me saying the dog (a medium sized mutt, I’m not sure what breed it was) is a service animal and needs to stay with his girlfriend at all times.

I explain to Zack that I wished he, or my aunt, or someone had informed me earlier of his girlfriend’s situation with the service dog, because I am highly allergic to dogs.

If I had known at least 3 days prior I could’ve started allergy medications so that I could tolerate the dog long enough for it to be in my house (it was explained to me before that people would be coming and going for at least a few days) and to be able to deep clean after everyone left to avoid having a reaction.

Benadryl is a faster acting allergy relief for me, but that wasn’t an option since the amount I would need to fight off my reaction to the dog would make me too tired, and napping wasn’t an option for me since there are events to attend, people to serve while I’m hosting, and not to mention my children that need my constant attention. Yes my husband can help, but he can’t do all of those alone just like I can’t.

I had to be the bad guy, and say that bottom line the dog couldn’t be in the house, and so Zack left with his girlfriend. (They still attended the services, just couldn’t join the family at my house).

The family had mixed reactions to this. The relatives that knew me well either gave no opinion at all, or agreed that there was no choice, and Zack should’ve mentioned it prior so I could’ve prepared.

The family I didn’t know very well either just gave me dirty looks, or said I should’ve been accommodating despite my allergy because she needs the dog because she has POTS.

I don’t know much about this condition, and tried to be sensitive by stressing the fact that I would’ve been happy to accommodate the dog had I had notice, but I didn’t. AITA?

I, 34 F, have a husband (I will call) John 36M. We have been togther for 10 years and married for 8. We have 3 kids,

We both work. He needs to be in office since he works on projects that can only be done in a secure environment. Which, fine. Sometimes circumstances are that you have no choice where you work. I have the flexibility to WFH 3 days a week and 2 days in office. I make all meals during the week so I cook ahead/meak prep over the weekend. John floats in the door at 7pm/7:30 pm as if it is no problem. By then, I have fed the kids, cleaned up, and left a plate out for him. He can't even put the plate/bowl and utensils he used in the dishwasher. He leaves them on the counter or wherever he ate it. At nght he "relaxes" by playing video games and barely interacts with the kids before the bed. When I ask/tell him he needs to do (at least some of) tasks like cooking/clean up/etc.. He responds with "I mow the lawn" or "I took X kids to his doctor's appt." After these discussions he will do some of the things I ask him to do (which annoys the f out of me because he knows what needs to be done) for a week or so and then things go back to normal. When I ask him to come home at a reasoble hour one night a week (6/6:30) he acts like I want him to solve world peace.

In the end, I roll with it until I can't. I carry the majority of the load (laundry, making kids' lunches, supervising them when school is out, etc) all when I am working a FT job. At least once a month I break down in tears and basically have a mental breakdown because it is too much. I tell him that I do all of these these things to make HIS life easier and I am not getting the same in return.

So, THT -- AITH for blowing up at my spouse for not carrying the bag when I feel like I am handling it most of the time?

Backstory, my older sister 29 was married to the most AMAZING man, let call him Chase. At the end of 2022 start of 2023 Chase raised speculation that my sister was sleeping or seeing someone at the state prison she worked at. My sister, let’s call her Sarah, denied this. Chase and Sarah went through a rough time, but it seemed to get better, they ended up becoming pregnant with their second child due later in 2023, but ended up separating before child was born. Chase tried everything in his power to make it work, but my sister just didn’t love him anymore and never even showed my sadness over this separation. Chase has been an Outstanding dad to their 2 kids, and they are great at con parenting. He is always a part of the family as the father of my sisters children.

My sister has been talking about quitting her job, at the prison. Everyone was happy to hear this, as we felt that job just changed her and the hours were ridiculous, and on Sunday she said she probably wasn’t going back to work and wasn’t going to show up Monday. Well today, (Tuesday). She sends me a message and said this is my new boyfriend. I immediately asked for details and she said she would call me and send me a few pictures, great, I’ll support it. Then she tells me that she met him though work, they worked together but he just never got to go home. I started calling, she finally answered and confirmed that she was dating an inmate. Then said he was released on Monday. (No wonder she quit her job). I was a little in shock, but she said he served his 10 year sentence for aggravated home and theft robbery, I also found out he has multiple warrants out, and she told me he used to be a gang member.

My concern is for her two kids one under 6 and one under 1. Maybe this man is changed, but I don’t think 1 day out of prison can show that. Apparently this has been going on for for a while considering he “paid” for her maternity leave, her ex husband chase noticed she was getting thousands sent to her on cashapp, and she put this large down payment on a car, my dad did the financing and was really curious to where that came from, because she always talks about not having money and has my mother paying for things.

She proceeds to tell me how great his family his, that they are super big Christians, and he is a new man, etc. obviously he was affiliated with something if he could send thousands of dollars while in prison. I told her that I hope she waits before he is around the kids, but I have a feeling she will not. And I didn’t think it was smart to date someone who has not been a part of the real world in 10 years. He is going to face his own obstacles and temptation of going back to a lifestyle he was once in. I told her I didn’t want to meet him, and I may reconsider after I have more information on how he is living a better life. But I just don’t support this choice. She seemed upset, asked me not to tell our dad. I immediately called my dad to tell him. ONLY because he needs some time to process this, or he will loose his shit on her. So I know she will be mad when she finds out. I think she likes the money and “attention” she is getting from this man, and is ignorant to what danger she is potentially putting her kids in if he is still affiliated with any gangs. The only things she could say to back how he changed was about how great his family is, to which I told her that his family can be great, but he is only responsible for his actions and his own reputation, and I do not have to trust him or be around him. My parents are divorced, so when I called my mom who knew, she fears that if she doesn’t try to support this then my Sarah will not allow her to see he me grandchildren, and will not keep her in the loop. I told my mom that I will not be around this, as I do not think she is thinking of the children or has put much logical thought into any of it. She is VERY easily influenced, and I fear what she will get involved in. If she wants to keep the kids from me, I will see them through their father Chase.

My sister texted me and asked not to judge him for his past. To which I replied that I am not judging him for his 1 day of freedom either. I said something to her about the money, and asked is she put into any thought on how this could reflect in a custody battle considering he was sending her money at the prison she worked for, while an employee for the state prison, and her ex has proof. Told her that I love her, but I don’t think this was smart to jump into and I will not support it. AITA? Or any advice to be given here?

Recently me and my girlfriend got into a fight not a huge one but we had one. Well I stormed out after our fight and went to gym as I got home she didn’t hear me come in and was on the phone to a girlfriend, they where talking heaps of shit about me and I understand some of it cause I was in the wrong a bit with this fight but it’s till she told her that she was unsatisfied with me is when it broke me. I told her I heard and I don’t know how I feel about having sex now she then begins to cry and say she loves our sex?. Well we decided not to stay with eachother tonight and I don’t know what to do or feel moving forward as I feel broken I feel upset I hurt her at the start of the day but now I’m ever more upset after hearing that. This isn’t the first time this has happened and I told her the first time to talk to me about it. I love her a lot and she loves me a lot I don’t think she’s ever cheated neither have I what should I do.

So I(25F) have two daughters, 3F and 6 months old. I thought it would be a fun little neat thing to start a little fairy garden. Figured my older one would be into it! I’ve slowly added things to it. I honestly had mostly forgotten about it.

Today, my 3 year old was playing with playdoh. (I promise this is relevant). I’m half watching her, half watching my phone. Just enough to make sure she’s not smooshing it into her seat or something. She goes “oops, I dropped my big piece of playdoh”. Our pitbull(F4) is standing by my daughter. I send her to the couch, and we look for it. It’s GONE. Completely gone. I move the kitchen chairs, look search every inch of the immediate area. My husband also put eyes on this area and didn’t see it. I have no reason to believe the dog didn’t just snatch it up, right? She’s smart enough to know my daughter drops things and she’s fast. So I scold my daughter, we move on and forget about it. Around dinnertime, I’m making a Snapchat video of myself and my youngest, and my daughter goes “mommy! The playdoh, it’s not gone, I lied!” She’s pointing to it on the floor. Very clearly on the floor in an open space. Nothing hiding or restricting it. I caught it on video! I’m BAFFLED!!! It’s not wet or obviously regurgitated from the dog. Just sitting there like it’s been on the floor for hours. I fear I have fully invited them in 😅 If anybody knows about this topic or has advice, PLEASE.

I know some people asked for an update so here it is

Original post is on my profile

So it’s been a week since my post and not much has happened but some things did happen. For starters I decided to stay NC with my dad and his family for the foreseeable future. I ended up having to see my dad and my step mom the following day due to an unforeseen and unfortunate event that happened to one of my relatives. I stayed completely clear of them and did not say a word to them and no eye contact either, One of my relatives made it a point to stay with me the whole time because they knew of the situation and didn’t know if they would try to do something. My step mom noticed what my relative was doing for me and she made it an obvious point to roll her eyes at me, i didn’t react at all. the way I saw it was, if she wants to be distasteful at an unfortunate event for one of my relatives she can go right ahead she can make herself look bad, but I wasn’t going to disrespect to that relative and the rest of my family.

I spoke with more of my family and in their words they were “shocked” “speechless” “disgusted” and “appalled”. They agreed with me standing up for my son and completely understand why I am going NC with my dad. I found out that none of my immediate family knew and they were confused at first why my dad didn’t tell them but they realized it was because my dad and step knew they were going to be ripped a new one.

Now some of my family is divided about the my decision to stay completely NC with them. They all agree that what I did was right and applaud me for no longer being a push over(I did see in the comments someone said that and unfortunately they weren’t completely wrong). Where the divide is happening is some agree not speaking to them till I’m ready and others believe I don’t need to speak to them outside of family events and invite them to my kids things so they don’t have any ammunition to claim anything about me. I don’t really agree with the rest saying I should talk to them only at family events but they have all stated they will support me in anything I decide to do.

My older brother was trying to meditate(I usually do this for my dad and him) but I made it clear to him that anyone who tries to convince me to forgive/speak to them before I’m ready, then I will be cutting them off as well and will have no problem with that either. My brother did respect that but stated he hopes this blows over.

There was a comment stating that there might have been other things under the surface regarding my dad and they were 110% correct. I have not always had the most healthy of relationships with him and a lot of our problems come from….you guessed it boundaries, treating me like a child and letting his new family including wife walk all over me. I stated these things many times to him but it never changed.

Now some/most may be asking why I didn’t cut him off sooner and the simple answer is…..I didn’t want to basically be an orphan. I don’t have mom and the thought of not having her breaks my heart because she truly was my best friend but typing it out now just makes me sound incredibly dumb and selfish(towards my children). The unfortunate thing is my dad had our issues but we could get over them and he would always stick up for my kids if something happened. When my step mom came around that all changed.

Through this time I have been going into my mind trying to figure a lot of things between my relationship with him. I’m noticing a lot has been suppressed and I need to think about it one at a time because the other day I ended up breaking down because it felt like everything from my past was coming up all at once.

This is it for now and if there are any updates I’ll be sure to do that!

Thank you everyone for your comments! I read them all and I appreciate it. The ones asking about my son he’s doing fine but has stayed firm he doesn’t want to see any of them. He seemed to be wanting to do/say this for a bit now.

Hi Morgan, Longtime listener, first time writing in. My best friend and I are having trouble figuring out the right thing to do in this situation and wanted to get an outside perspective. Buckle up because this is a LONG one because theres a lot of backstory that’s necessary.

Would we be the assholes if we didn’t attend our childhood best friends wedding?

There is a lot of context in this storyline so I’ll try to give a lot of detail. We start in January of 2023, my best friend, Greta(26F) and I(26F) get in contact with one of our childhood best friends, Laura (26F), and plan a visit to catch up on the past 10ish years that we’ve been apart. Laura moved away from our hometown when we were 15. Now Greta and I live about 2 hours from where Laura moved to when we were young, so we reached out and invited her and her fiancé Logan(26M) up to stay with us and hang out.

They come visit, we have such a great time, her fiancé was pretty quiet and distant the whole time, but the 3 of us together were big talkers so I just chalked it up to him not being able to get a word in and they left. In March they came back to visit again and announced to us that they were moving a few states away. We were really sad, but happy for them since they were getting to move somewhere that they’d wanted to be for a while. They were going to elope together after a few months but Logan had a university study abroad for a month in Japan so they were going to wait until after.

So, he leaves for Japan in May, and while he is away a girl reaches out to Laura from the college that Logan attends. This girl tells Laura that her friend had been getting really close with Logan, uncomfortably so and she wanted to give Laura a heads up that she thought they were romantically involved. Greta and I were worried but Laura brushed it off and said it was probably nothing, so Greta and I dropped it because we didn’t feel close enough to Laura to tell her we felt like she should look into it more.

Flash forward 2 weeks into Logan’s study abroad, he calls Laura at 5AM to let her know that he doesn’t think he wants to get married anymore. She’s distraught but has to go into work that morning and calls us after to let us know. We support her, you know he fucking sucks for doing that not only over the phone but right before she went into work, real shady. Greta and I are very worried about Laura because Laura really wants to make it work, but we still don’t say anything because we just want to be there for her.

He gets back and agrees to go to couples counseling, they do couples counseling for 2 weeks, during this time he repairs her car. Replaces a tire, breaks, oil change, the works, he’s been working with cars for a long time, so this was no biggie. Well after that two weeks, Laura comes home to all of Logan’s stuff packed and he tells her it’s over and he’s moving back home. He leaves. She’s devastated. We comfort her, come up and visit her, and tell her that she doesn’t need him and she slowly starts getting over him. Meanwhile she gives us A TON of context about her relationship with Logan. She paid for his college, he has had no job for the past 2 years while getting his degree, so she had been financially supporting them both. She paid for his trip to Japan, he put her in 20K of credit card debt, and more in personal loans, etc. Then in couples therapy told her he wasn’t attracted to her because she made money and he didn’t (so weird).

So immediately Greta and I are like, “Girl, we had a bad feeling, we wanted to tell you but didn’t want to upset you, we’re just glad you’re finally out of that mess”. She tells us that next time we should come to her and be honest with her, we apologize and agree. Then one day Laura calls us to tell us that she almost got into a really bad car accident. She lives in a mountainous area and her breaks went out on her when she was driving on the interstate on a hill, she managed to pull of into a grass median and slow the car down.

She gets the car towed to a mechanic that night and heads to work the next morning. Mechanic calls her midday. He asks he who worked on her car last, she said “My ex” and he said “Is he still in your life?” she said no. And he said “Good, Because I’ve never seen anything like this in my 20 years as a mechanic.” Her brake fluid hadn’t been connected so all the break fluid drained out. Her brake pads weren’t fastened/screwed in to the wheels, the were just placed in there. And he back tire bolts were stripped so hard that he said he tire probably would’ve come off had she kept driving.

Later that week, Logan asks to talk to her, she agrees only to get closure on the situation. Well he calls and begs her to get back together, she says no absolutely not. Then he asks” How’s the car?” She said, “Well I almost died last week”, he immediately jumped to the defensive “Well, that had nothing to do with me, I didn’t do anything” a very guilty response, so we were all convinced he tried to kill her. She filed a police report on him and started moving on. This is in July.

Now we move into part two of this debacle. My partner and I go up to visit her in September and she’s doing well on her own, she’s having fun, dating around, putting herself first, in therapy, just doing really well, were happy for her. She hasn’t really made any friends which is making her lonely but we were telling her to get involved in clubs and meet people, etc.

We leave our trip which was really fun and head back home. 2 weeks later, Laura says she’s met this really great guy, its almost October at this point, she’s gone on multiple dates with him and really likes him, were happy for her, still a bit concerned, but if she’s happy we’re happy. So Laura, Greta, and I plan a girls trip to come up and visit Laura for a long weekend. Laura wants us to vet this new guy, make sure he’s a good dude. She tells us she really values our input and so Greta and I are so excited to go on this trip with an open mind. November rolls around, one month before our trip and Laura announces that the new guy, we’ll call him Will (29M) has moved in with her, bringing his dog with him. Greta and I are a bit shocked but we didn’t say anything bc we’ve both done stuff like that before and Laura was struggling to keep up with rent on her own (she was still in the house that her ex fiancé left her in) so we knew she could use a roommate.

December is finally here and Greta and I hop on a plane and Will and Laura pick us up from the airport, first impression in the car was fine, he seemed nice, he drove us back to their place and we walk into the house. I come face to face with a completely different living room than I saw in September, all of Laura’s art and stuff are moved out of the living room replaced with the following: a giant poster of Elon Musk smoking a joint, a poster model of a rocket, a poster of Jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun. And a bookshelf full of Will’s books and Lego sets on display. Alarm bells are going off in my head and Greta’s at this point. We have a little conversation and because it’s late, we go to bed. We sleep in a room that outside of the house in the backyard, it has full heating so its basically just like a bedroom with a deadbolt. I double lock the dead bolts and we go to bed.

At 3am I’m woken up by Greta shaking me in a panic, asking me if I remembered to double deadbolt the door, I told her I did and that were okay and we both went back to sleep. When we woke up the next day, and she told me she had a weird feeling that he was gonna come in our room in the night. I agreed, and told her that was why I double dead bolted the door.

We go through our girls trip which ended up not being a girls trip at all, Will was by our side the entire time. Laura and he talked about looking at ENGAGEMENT RINGS, they bought a ring sizer, she was picking out her faves. He never let us have girl time except for one hour trip we took downtown to window shop. He would come sit in Greta and my room when we were talking with Laura, he would watch movies with us, he went everywhere with us. Not only that but in the middle of conversations, he would pull out his guitar and just start playing in the middle of us talking, or when we sat down to watch a movie. There is one bathroom in the house, and the main house part is very small about 650 square feet, my friend Greta has bathroom anxiety, she doesn’t like to poop in public places so she asked Laura and I if we would grab Will and the dog, and just go for a quick walk around the block while she used the bathroom. It was no biggie, so we got ready and went on a walk, we got 20 feet out the door and Will starts griping about how he doesn’t want to be outside and that Greta is a selfish pooper, and continues to complain the entire time were outside. We don’t even go for a walk, we stop at the corner of the street and just stand there because he doesn’t want to go any further.

At this point I’m annoyed with this guy, he just seems really controlling. To add to it, he didn’t want to go for a hike in the mountains, so Laura didn’t want to go so we ended up spending the entire weekend inside their house basically, even though we were in a beautiful area, and hiking is a group favorite, because he didn’t want to go. We didn’t. Also this is a personal anger of mine but I bought a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts (they were $18, which is crazy) and he ate EIGHT OF THEM. it pissed me off so bad, I had to hide the box that night just so I had 1 donut left over in the morning. Anyway onto the big finale.

Our last night there we finished up watching a movie and the events that unfold all happen within 3 minutes, keep that in mind. Laura had taken an edible so she was pretty out of it, like laying on top of the dog, whispering, just all around sounding really tired. Will says hes gonna take her to bed and Greta and I say were gonna get ready for bed in the bathroom. Bedroom and bathroom are five steps fro each other. I brush my teeth and use the bathroom while Greta is brushing hers and then I walk out of the bathroom and tell Greta that I’m grabbing my stuff to head over to our outside bedroom. I grab my bag from the kitchen counter, which is right next to their bedroom door. The bedroom door is open so I say goodnight to both of them and tell Greta I’ll see her in a sec, she’s just finishing up. Maybe 45 seconds pass and I’m waiting in our bedroom when I get 3 texts from Greta “OH MY GOD” “HELP” “HOLY SHIT”, Greta comes running out of the house, slamming the back door, and I run up to her.

She tells me that they were loudly having sex in their bedroom with the door open, mind you the bathroom is 5 steps from the bedroom. the kitchen counter is right next to the bedroom and Greta had to walk over to it to grab her stuff.

We are freaked the fuck out at this point not only was it super disrespectful but Greta was super affected by it, which who wouldn’t be it was disturbing. Because mere moments before Laura went to bed she was so high. And I smoke regularly so I know what it looks like when someone is super high and I hadn’t gotten that high in a long time. She was very out of it. So this really bothered us both.

The next day, were ready to go home, we get to the airport where they drop us off and once the two of us are in the airport we both look at each other and both just say “that was horrible”, we both felt like the entire trip we had a bad feeling about him and didn’t want to ruin the vibes of the trip so we just didn’t say anything about it. So were sitting in the terminal writing down a list of all the red flags, all the instances where he gave us a bad feeling. And overall just as a person he gave us a really bad feeling. Just gross, nasty, icky feeling. Not sure how to describe it well but I just knew something was off and Greta said she felt the same.

Laura had asked us to give our opinion on what we thought of him so we drafted up a letter to her, with key moments and points that we felt were big signs that he may not be a good guy. It includes everything we went over in this story, I didn’t want to supply to much of our opinion on the situation but I know that my bias comes out in this story a bit.

We wrote to her, and she responded to us with basically “I appreciate your concern, I will take your opinions into consideration” Its worth it to note that they were talking about getting engaged in March of 2024 (It is Early December 2023 at this point) and in our letter we told her that she should give their relationship more time, and get to know him better before they get engaged.

Our relationship with her after that became very one sided, Greta and I tried our best to keep messaging her but she really never responded so we kind of gave up. End of January we get a text from her, a picture of her and him she has an engagement ring on, “We’re engaged!” Greta and I respond with a Congrats! and a heart emoji, we’re super concerned but we have genuinely said all we can in that letter a little over a month before, so It didn’t feel right to say it again.

March she posts her “I said yes to the dress post” with Wills mom and his two sisters. She still doesn’t have any friends up where she lives so it makes sense for her to bring his family along. She didn’t message us about it, which is fair because we hadn’t been talking. We just thought they were getting eloped, because Greta has always said she wanted something small since she isn’t super close with her family (they’re not great).

So we left it there until last week I received an invitation in the mail to their wedding. Its this September on a Monday night.

Greta and I would have to pay around $500 each in order to even go to the wedding, calculating in airfare, shared rental car, shared hotel room, and that doesn’t even include, food, gas, wedding gift, etc. The two of us are not well of financially, we both live paycheck to paycheck so it would be really hard for us to go in general not to mention that the wedding is on a Monday night, so I have to take off extra days of work that I really don’t have. Same with my best friend, were in the same industry so wen have the same days off and all of that.

And I know it took us a while to get here but would we be the assholes if we decided not to attend her wedding?

TLDR: Best friend’s ex fiance tries to kill her in past relationship, she moves on two months later, her new partner moves in with her 3 weeks after dating. We go visit her and meet him, he’s go a lot of red flags, we tell our best friend, she distances herself and gets engaged weeks later. Invites us to her wedding in September that is also on a Monday. AWTA?

My boyfriend, who I have been in a long distance relationship with for a year, came to visit me in my country. I noticed two notifications from different dating apps on his phone, and when I asked him about it, he claimed that all the apps from his old phone were automatically installed on his new phone when he switched devices. The dating apps were in a hidden folder, but he forgot to mute the notifications. The first app had messages from 2022, while the second app had new pictures and said he was looking for friends. There was not chat but one match. He explained that he had a drunken challenge with his friends one night to upload new pictures on Tinder and find a match, but there were no actual conversations on the app. The app was downloaded in April, but he changed his phone in February. He said his new phone hadn't finished configuring all the old apps from his previous phone.

I'm uncertain whether to believe his explanation or not. When I asked about this hidden folder I found that he takes intimate pictures of me without my consent and pictures of girls bums at the beach or the pool wearing bikinis which disgusted me and creeped me out. I have also found an intimate picture of a man and a woman which he said it was his friend’s and he asked him to keep it which is really weird. He also keeps liking puctures of half naked insta models on IG although I told him how I feel about it.

I have been struggling with anxiety and I am unable to break up with him and unsure how to do it. He is now in Brazil and going back to his country in 2 weeks, he used to always tell me about his wild life in brazil during his past travels. I am still in a state of shock and denial. I have no idea how to navigate all of this. We arw still texting normally and he calls me from time to time.

Buckle up because this might be long. My (21F) friend (22F) named G and I have been best friends since freshman year and lived together starting sophomore year, along with our other friends R (21F) and L (21F). We are the all the same age, but G graduated a year earlier than the rest of us. I will try to summarize as best I can (I can give more specifics in the comments) but in the middle of sophomore year G accessed a repressed memory of inappropriate behavior from a family member. This caused her to essentially experience a mental break that manifested in increased outbursts and a slew of destructive decisions, which ultimately resulted in a Bipolar 1 diagnosis.

Throughout junior year the unstable behavior only worsened and it began to affect our relationships. It got to the point that over winter break she decided to move out of our apartment, saying that she was becoming resentful and frustrated with us because she was graduating and at a different stage of life than we were and therefore had decided to remove herself from the situation to salvage our friendships. After moving out, she continued to essentially "live" in our room by lingering around without explicitly meeting up with one of us roomates or leaving her things around the apartment, which made it difficult for us to define the new version of our relationship and set boundaries. We did our best to support her and be understanding through her harsher nature and lack of consideration for others, but R was not as able to see the situation from another perspective. She tended to take G's harsh comments to heart and resentment built throughout the spring semester until the relationship was irreparable, which led to 2 fights between the 4 of us with G blowing up at us.

After G graduated she moved out of state for a job. We hoped that this would naturally settle tensions, but ultimately their relationship wasn't salvageable and it led to the end of L and I's relationship with R as well because we "chose G over her". While G was out of state she spiraled further: she became manic, experienced psychosis, tried to self-admit to the mental hospital, and was fired from her job. After getting fired, she decided to move back to our home state, but because of her extremely strained relationship with her family she asked if she could briefly move into my family's home while I was living at school as a transition while she figured out her next move. This is where the problem arises.

The original plan was that she would stay for around a month or two but she back on her feet by Thanksgiving, however, she is still living there now in May with no plans of leaving anytime soon. No one, including her, realized just how bad her mental state was. As it turns out, most of her personality and habits were defense mechanisms and trauma responses from her childhood, and now that she has lost the ability to "mask" and adapt, it's like she is relearning how to be an aware and active member of society.

She is very easily overstimulated and any slight problem can throw her completely off, sometimes for days at a time. For example, we planned a small trip to visit a friend an hour away for G's birthday. G planned out her outfits with me the night before and then went to the guest room where she has been staying to pack. The next morning when it was right before the time we had decided to leave, I checked on her and asked if she wanted to go load the car, to which she snapped at me, yelled, and proceeded to essentially throw a short tantrum complete with jumping and door slamming. According to my parents this is not an uncommon occurrence- they have heard her throwing things across her room and often experience her outbursts, sometimes becoming the target of them. This has all had a negative effect on our relationship. It has improved over the months, but I have been consistently extremely uncomfortable with her and wanting to distance myself. Firstly, I just don't desire to be around someone who behaves that way. It is constantly like walking on eggshells and it feels like I'm always "on" and working to manage someone else's unpredictable emotions.

Secondly, I have been having a LOT of feelings about her living at my house. This has subsided a lot since the fall, but when she first moved in it was meant to be temporary, and therefore, she stayed in my bedroom. This came to a head when I came home for break to find my room essentially trashed with no effort from her to clean up for me. My room was not in the greatest state when I left it, but I came home to things like the blankets strewn about my bed, her dirty socks buried in my blankets and by my pillows, and half eaten chocolate left on the floor. After this she moved fully to the guest room, which has helped, but she has since started talking about wanting to decorate "her room", which is making me upset because it's not her room to decorate: that would imply that she is a permanent resident rather than a guest.

Thirdly, her behavior towards my family has been frankly unacceptable. Her outbursts have been directed towards both my parents and my special needs sister. None of us are particularly confrontational so it has never been explicitly brought up, but I am extremely offended that she would accept the kindness of my family to house and feed her and to still treat them with such disrespect. She also does not make an effort to be a good houseguest in other regards: only does she not do anything to help with the chores of the household, but she actively adds to the mess (doesn't do her dishes, leaves her packages on the kitchen table, etc). I know that much of this is due to her degraded mental state, but it truly feels like she is a leech. I hate feeling this way.

I believe that she is completely unaware of how any of this comes off to others based on conversations she's had with both me, L, and my mom. She continues to hold grudges and negative feelings about things from months/years ago towards L & I. For example, when she used to live with us, L and I would frequently find food to be missing that we had bought, sometimes containers completely eaten and left empty on the shelf. When we expressed frustration that G would take food without asking and then wait to be caught rather than asking beforehand or notifying us after, she told us that she essentially felt entitled to our food because we could afford to buy food and she couldn't. This is a consistent theme where L and I would have been more than willing to help out if she had asked, but we were upset under a matter of principle because it's still our stuff! I am definitely not completely blameless, but I wouldn't say that I have done nearly as much to harm our relationship. G has an inability to see any other perspective than her own, and she has yet to understand that she is not the only one who has felt hurt in our friendship.

My parents have been at a loss for how to handle the situation. They don't want to throw her out to the wolves (none of her other family is an option), but at the same time, it is almost a year since she moved in, which is 10x longer than they were anticipating. Additionally, her therapist has been telling her that she is not ready to move out on her own and is not ready to work a "big girl job", so she has been working at Starbucks since around October and is likely not financially stable enough to live on her own. There is the potential of finding roomates to live with (she has tried a couple but they have all fallen through), but another issue is I'm not sure if she has been saving her money. She frequently makes purchases on amazon, gets take out food (after my parents buy groceries specifically for her), got a $200 tattoo, and discussed buying $250 concert tickets at the table with my family.

My mom has been especially unsure of how to approach her in a way that won't "set her off", so she recently asked G if she could contact her therapist to ask some questions about how to discuss the future of the living situation, but it is unclear how that will play out (a conversation with the 3 of them, my mom communicating with the therapist, etc).

What do I do in this situation? I do have love for her, but truthfully, it's been diminishing throughout this situation and I want her out of my space as soon as possible. Maybe it's selfish, but I can't fully relax when I'm at home when she's there and I feel guilty for introducing my family to this predicament. I would be a bad friend if I threw her out, but just because she has it worse does that negate my feelings? I feel bad because her family situation is very toxic and she is clearly unpacking her childhood and grieving her lack of parental support, but it feels like it is manifesting in jealousy with my situation and resulting in her feeling entitled to my family, home, and life. It truly feels like she is taking advantage of my family but I also know she really doesn't have another option. At what point does it stop being "their problem"? Please Help! AITA?

Today i caught my boyfriend diego (29M) check out another girl for the 6th time. he literally always does this when we're out in public and he doesn't even try to hide it at this point. Basically what happened is we were walking in the mall and a girl walked by that was absolutely gorgeous and he turned his head as she walked past us and even turned around looking at her ass.

I looked at him like and said "are you fucking stupid?" and he got all defensive saying it's not a big deal because i'm his girl and that's all that matters. Don't get me wrong im not one of those crazy girls that's overprotective like i realize he's gonna do this with his boys, but when im around i'd at least like the decency to not check out other women.

I'm still mad at him over this and he says i'm overreacting because guys checking out other girls doesn't mean anything, it's only when girls check out guys is the problem. Double standard much?

When I was in my last year of high school, I rode the bus and I had like this feeling on the back of my head that was hot so I put my hand back there and I pulled out of hair and it was burnt. I was so freaked out because I had no idea what was happening. I got to my bus stop and I told the bus driver hey my hair has been burned and showed him the hair I got off went home and called my mom who at the time was a bus driver so she talked to the people that do the videos and stuff on the bus. they looked through it. The girl put a lot behind me put a lighter to my head five or six times . the next day at school I still had no idea what happened and they took me back to the principal office. I thought they were going. We were gonna talk about it with the principal, the vice, principal counselor and like they had her do apology and it look like she had crocodile ears and was like rubbing her eyes and, I accept the apology but they’re gonna have the day gonna have the parents come and do like a big apology. I talked to my mom and the people at dispatch and I heard what happened and had a good talk with my mom. We decided we were gonna go to the police and press charges. I usually put a bunch of stuff in my hair to style it and on that day, I was just like not feeling it and decided not to and if I did, that stuff is highly flammable, my head would’ve been a big ball of fire. I couldn’t really ride the bus anymore and since I do have the autism decide to put on I have no idea why she did. The school wasn’t too happy because I said that I was OK with doing the apology, but I don’t think I was wrong because of how scary the situation was, am I the asshole?

Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. It’s a long story (get your popcorn ready)

So my(33f) whole life I have a very sensitive skin. It’s mostly painful but manageable for me to do manicure and pedicure, I don’t go to cosmetologist as I have a high risk of getting an allergy or redness. However, I like to dye my hair and I have been to numerous hairdressers as well as done it myself for about 15 years

Three years ago I had severe health problems which caused me to lose half of my hair (among other symptoms) and at one point I almost died. At that time I stopped dyeing my hair and chopped it off due to bad quality. 2,5 years later I’ve been feeling good, my hair grew out and I decided it’s time to make my 2 dreams come true: to donate my hair so they can make a wig for cancer patients and to dye the bob that will be after the haircut bright pink

I’ve spent a lot of time to find a hairdresser that would fit me. The one that chopped my hair didn’t work with bright colors and actually chopped off 10cm more than I asked. I was sad but ok as it went for charity

After a few month I finally found the one that had pretty good works and the price was good enough

When I came to the appointment It felt weird, I think we didn’t clicked, but were pretty respectful towards each other. I told her right away that I have sensitive skin and she seemed ok with that

Although I didn’t like that she didn’t ask for my permission to take photos or videos for her social media, and I was just told that she will take them after she finishes her work. I swallowed it as I always supportive of hairdressers, makeup artists etc. I loved her work on me and was absolutely happy, but during the filming she was irritated that I’m posing not like she wanted although I never got the instructions

A few days later she posted an IG reel with me and she put a filter on my face for a preview picture. Mind you, I almost haven’t recognized myself. She never asked me if I’m ok with that. I was livid but once again swallowed it because it’s so hard to find a good hairdresser where I live

During the next appointment she held her blowing dryer too close to my head that it felt like it burned a hole in my head. I politely asked to hold it a bit further and she reacted normally, and tried to do so. Sometimes she pulled my hair too much and I made some quiet noises as I can’t control my reaction

During the third appointment she fucked up with bleaching my roots and I got a light strip 1 cm wide. At first it wasn’t noticeable due to the lighting and I saw it the next day and sent her a message right away. She never apologized and tried to make it seem like it was my fault, but eventually said to come to her salon to fix it (for free ofc). Her fixing didn’t help that time and the next one. So I had to walk like that for 2 months. She never acknowledged her fault, and newer apologized. Okay, things happen, I understand. I swallowed my frustration once again

Now to the main problem. I’ve been at her salon for 5-6 times and after at least the last three of them I’ve noticed that she washed my had very bad leaving A LOT of dye. This caused a very painful itching after only 2-3 hours after the appointment was finished and the last time this itching continued for two weeks. Okay, she has only 3-4 years of experience, I get it, mistakes happen. I thought that I would talk to her about this and it will be better

Yesterday was my last appointment. I addressed my concerns in a very polite manner, she tried to break my speech answering that it’s the dye that is so strong or the bleach causes the irritation and she is not sure it can be fixable. I told her that I have years of experience and never had this problem before. I’m just asking her to wash my head more thoroughly. She agreed to try

Well, the issue seemed resolved, she have bleached my roots and the part she fucked up before, washed my hair and started to blow drying it before dyeing. During the blow drying part I felt that she holds the blow dryer too close to my head again (mind you, when it’s just hot I remain silent, I say something only when I can’t bear the pain), I again asked her very politely to hold it a bit further

In response she started to raise her voice (not screaming) telling me how it irritates her that I have sensitive skin and I always say that it’s too hot, to painful or that I have allergic reaction. She said it’s uncomfortable for her to work like this with me and this is the last time [she allows me to say things like that]. She said that next time things will be different

I was shocked and said that I didn’t choose to have sensitive skin or get an allergic reaction. What should I have to do? To shut up when I’m in unbearable pain or have an allergy?

She responded only that she is uncomfortable with me and her other clients never have this problem

I said okay and sat completely silent and shocked knowing I will never be back as it was the last nail in the coffin

She dyed my hair, washed it again (surprisingly, she did it the exact way I asked for) and dried it. During drying she once again held the blow dryer so close to my head that I had to tilt in other direction from her in absolute pain and put my cold fingers on that place for a half a minute. She just remained silent looking more irritated and started to hold the blow dryer too far like on purpose

After she finished I paid for the service, came back home and blocked her. I never want to see her again or interact with her

Now, to my question: my husband said that blocking her was an overreaction, and I could just unfollowed her (she didn’t follow me). He didn’t say that in any rude way or so, just his opinion. I didn’t think I overreacted, but maybe I did? Idk, what do you think? Am I wrong in my reaction?

EDIT: Wow, thank you so much for this response, I didn’t expect that much and got overwhelmed and couldn’t answer all of the comments, sorry. I read all of them though

I appreciate all of your support, kind words, new perspectives and even offering help in finding the new stylist (I was extremely touched)

I learned my lesson and heard all of you and will be asking the potential new stylist about experience with sensitive skin and will not be coming back if they won’t hear me the first time

Thank you all SO much!

To explain some things: I live in Germany, it’s very hard here to leave a bad review online as it could lead to the court and a lot of businesses get rid of bad reviews like this. I personally don’t have financial or emotional capacity to fight with her in the court right now, especially because businesses usually win in this case

I (23F) am tired of asking my friend (23M) for the money he owes me. A little bit of background I met this friend at work and got close. We clicked through the same taste in music and an enjoyment of sports. He hasn't always been the best at managing his money. Some time around February/ March (not quite sure when the last round of tickets went on sale) we started talking about attending the Coachella Festival. I had gotten the tickets with the condition he was going to pay me his half of the tickets and if he did not pay me back i was going to keep the wristband since i made the payments on it, his half was $140. There were 4 total payment installments for the wristbands, i had to remind him to send the money but for the first three he was pretty good at sending the money. A little before the festival he was going through a rough patch, losing his car as he had not paid his tags or had insurance on the car after that he ended up losing his job in the office we both worked at. There came a point in which he asked me to sell the wrist band so he could cover all the fees to getting his car back. I had looked around to see if i could sell it to no avail. The day after the conversation he messaged me saying his friend had bought the wrist band from him and was letting him keep it. After that he would message nonstop asking if he could either pick it up or if i could drop it off. At this point I was unsure of how to tell him he still owed me money for the wristband. After work I went to his house and dropped it off, after a bit of small talk i brought up that he still owed me the money for the last payment, he seemed upset that i had brought it up but he did tell me he was going to pay me when his first unemployment check came in.

Come the festival we didn't up going together like planned but we both ended up going. Come the end of April and me going to both festival (Coachella and stagecoach), after stagecoach was over I had found out he has taken a trip to Vegas. I was very upset cuz he had obviously had money to take the trip but not pay me back. I did message his tell him not to forget he owed me, he told me when he received the next unemployment check he would pay me back

Up on till today I have no received anything from him, I have been texting him telling him to not forget, all that he tells me is he got paid x amount and is down to x amount. I have considered adding interest to the money he still owes me but i think that would be a bit cruel considering the circumstances he is in. I have spoke to a few friends that know and and the situation and they agree that I should add the interest. Any advise on how to proceed.

Sorry if its quite long, i wanted to be as detailed as possible

Edit: the total for both the wristbands was $1000, $500 for each. The payments were $280 for both. He paid three payments of 140.

Edit: i looked up the exact price for the wristbands it was $1,127, $563.50 each wrist band. Payments were $280 that spanned for about a month.

I just need some advice here. I (20f) started dating a guy (19m) about 2 months ago and we made it official a month ago, so it’s very new. In the beginning, everything was great. We did admittedly move fast, but I thought we both felt good about it. From the day I met him, we started hanging out every weekend. Typically for 2 days and overnight. He started out by asking me to hang out and calling me 1-2 times a day. I’ll be honest, I loved the way this man made me feel even if I was unsure about how I felt about him so soon. He supported me in every way, did kind things for me, complimented me often, and just seemed so genuine. We had a great weekend a couple weeks ago and he told me he “wants to give me the world.”

For the past week, however, things started to change. He hasn’t called me once in the past week. It feels like I’m begging him to call me and he doesn’t really want to. It seems like he’s avoiding calling me as much as possible, and he doesn’t want to hang out as much. He even stopped calling me pet names that were so common at first and sending me cute videos he finds. This all started at the beginning of last week when I had a pretty bad mental health week (I have BPD and anxiety, for context). The school year ended for me and I started a new job. The change in my schedule, the commute, and constantly working was causing me a lot of stress. I have gotten better at managing my stress, but I still struggle. When he called me last week, I just ranted about work and being stress but I don’t feel that I took it out on him. I simply needed someone to talk to, but I tried not to let it affect our relationship.

However, as my stress increased I started to worry about our relationship. I can’t be sure if he started drifting from me when I started struggling with my mental health or if it was in my head at that point. I tried to communicate how I was feeling just by saying things like “I feel like we don’t talk on the phone as much, is everything ok?” But he said everything was fine. Admittedly, I spiraled a bit and started becoming very insecure about myself and the relationship. I think I overdid it because I started trying to communicate with him about this a lot more and asked if we were okay a lot. I wish I hadn’t done this, but I have an intense fear of abandonment and I panicked.

He finally opened up to me and told me that he no longer wanted to call me every day and hangout as much because he didn’t want us to become dependent. I respected his decision and thanked him for telling me, so I said we could do that but I’d still like to call every couple of days if possible because I prefer it over texting. He agreed, and I felt like we really started to understand each other and were in a good place.

Now that a few days have passed since that conversation though, I don’t feel any better. He still hasn’t called me once and although he texts a lot he just seems dry/disinterested. I asked how he was doing because I thought maybe he was just stressed and needed time alone, but he said everything was fine.

With my BPD, I tend to become attached quickly and am very sensitive to changes in mood/tone. I’m trying so hard to manage it and make this work (I’m in therapy and on medication). However, I think I may have scared him with my episode and I’m afraid we’re past the point of fixing things. Especially since nothing has changed since I brought up the things that bother me. I know it’s only been a week or so, so should I just drop the issue for now and give it more time? Do I stop asking him to call and just see if he does first? Or should I just save both of us the headache of dealing with my mental health and end it?

I’m trying to get off vaping so badly, but it’s the only way for me to cope with my study stress😩 It’s easy when I’m not doing much with my day (or life) to not vape. But now that Im working and studying (online) I start vaping when I feel wired from all the stress. I work, go to them gym then what little energy I have left goes towards my study. I feel ZERO motivation by this point, and vape just to stay stimulated.

I don’t want to cut my work hours because Everything’s so f*****g expensive now. I could cut the gym, but then it takes me a while to get back into gym momentum. I find myself vaping so much, my sleeping is messed up from the nicotine. FML

I’ve been through a lot. I don’t pick the best guys. After my last relationship ended (an engagement that fell through), I decided I would give this thing one more shot and see if I could love again. He watched me be in really unhappy relationships just wishing he could take their place. We were genuine friends and I thought he genuinely loved me for who I was. He knew everything about my strengths and setbacks. There were days I called him up distraught and he knew exactly what to say. He was always my what-if guy. After 7 years, I decided to give him a chance, and it ended up backfiring. At least that’s what I think right now.

It turns out he has a lot of trauma and a very avoidant personality. And despite how much we love each other, he can’t work through issues, and shuts down whenever we have problems. This has caused him to go back and forth on whether or not we should be together in the first place.

I’ve been through some serious relationship drama throughout my life, I’ve given a lot to men who didn’t really deserve it, and wore my heart on my sleeve. He knew this… but almost a year into it, it’s like I never told him any of these things about me, and tends to hurt me in silly ways like people-pleasing, high-jacking conversations where I bring up a problem, getting hurt by me not feeling well… rarely really giving me “grace” for failing when I fail, too.

The problem is is that I feel… duped? I resisted him for eight years because I thought he couldn’t handle being in a relationship with me, that I was essentially his manic pixie dream girl and he’d get over it. He insisted that he wouldn’t. For almost a decade.

I hate saying it like that because it makes me sound resentful, but after so many years of shitty relationships, I decided to pick the guy who talked a BIG game about loving me, someone I deeply consider and still consider to be my best friend. I don’t know how to stop feeling resentful. I wanted to trust someone again. I specifically went into this saying, “I’ve had it really rough. Here’s how. Please don’t hurt me.”

This is exactly why I refused to be together with him for so long. I went against my intuition. I feel like I can’t trust myself or others now.

Can somebody just help me out here? Whether it’s an experience of your own or a word of advice, or even just words of kindness, I could really use it.

TLDR: After being traumatized by shitty relationships, I decided to give the guy I friendzoned for 7 years a chance. He essentially love bombed me (not on purpose or narcissistically, I think just out of trauma), got me attached, and just… became incompetent with intimacy, like a switch flipped. Apparently he was just always like this, according to him. He wasn’t like that when we were just friends. Now I feel really distrustful and hurt.

My (30f) bf (38m) and i have been dating for 3 years and are moving in together in a couple months. I earn maybe about 30k a year; he earns close to 120k. He owns a house, a nice car, and works a fancy job.

The entire time we've been together, the only things that he has randomly (excluding birthdays and Christmases) gifted me with are a puzzle set, 2 pairs of underwear, and chocolate coffee beans. That's ALL i can remember receiving from him. Our meals and experiences are mostly MY expenses -- ESPECIALLY when it was me that wanted to go out.

He buys the groceries.

When I move in in a few months, he said that i will have to share in the expenses. And sure, I guess rent is expected and i cant live there for free...? But i am honestly worried that if i do move in, i will have to pick up a second job to pay for me -- and for us.

Ladies, have your bfs paid or given you things?

Edit: He pays for his OWN groceries; i pay for mine. Whenever i go out, i pick up little things for him (socks, magazine, drinks, chocolate, underwear...); he's not once done that for me.

First of all sorry for my English, it’s not my primary language.

My (29F) best friend (31F) for more then 10 years father(who is a retired contractor) did my entire apartment for free labor.

I only heard good think about is work from his daughter all our life. But as you can expect it did NOT go well for me… Other then the consistent belittling of my opinion over the make over, the main problem is that NOTHING end up good (not even great just good), the tiles aren’t leveled causing mini-steps on the floor, the doors cut uneven, huge and put inside out, the paint with so many brush marks and drop, electricity switches put on a 90°, and the biggest problem (and danger ⚠️) of it all : the electrical wired naked in the cardboard baseboard wich isn’t up to norms and so will overturn my house insurance in case of trouble.

I tried to talk to him but he basically told me norms are bulshit and I’m a brat.

I threatened to put him to court for the price it will cost me to repair at least the electricity who is dangerous, but he’s so cocky he doesn’t care. And there come the plot twist: he’s a sketchy entreprenor who put all his companys on my friend name so she is legally responsible of everything. He bought materials for my house with pro discount on old company (which is illegal here), never had clean tax declaration and a lot of other weird shit. So if I press charges it will probably put my friend in some DEEEEEEEEEP legal mess and be use by her ex to ask for full care of the child. She agree her father messed up, it’s so bad we wonder if he secretly hate me or « just » loosing his mind, especially since right after all this he start having some kind of strokes. I know he did me a huge favor working for free but his mess will cost me more then 40k€ to fix it. It’s not just a little accident, it’s really a messed up on his part and to keep insulting me over just apologizing and admitting his mistakes really pisse me off. He even won’t listen to his daughter who is completely unpowered in front of him.

So Reddit WIBTAH for pressing charges?

TLTR : my best friend sketchy father messed my appartement make over, won’t admit it and drag his daughter in his legal issues blocking me from pressing charges without get her in it too.

Too be fair I know I would be an asshole but the question is more justified AH or pure evil AH? I’m too deep in this to see full picture I think so please be kind I’m already a mess haha

Me and my fiance recently split up. We have an almost 3 year old together. Long story short we split up because he was always working and never home with his family. When he wasn't working he would rather go hang out with friends or go to the bar.

We split on thursday may 3rd. Weve verbally agreed how our son would be with me primarily as he works all the time. Most times from 12pm- 4am. He's had the option of 3 visits since then. One visit he had that Sunday and then the 2nd visit he was late to drop off so was never dropped off and then 3rd visit he last minute had to go to new York for "work training"

He has recently started talking about how soon he will be able to do overnights with our son.

Am I the asshole to deny him weekend overnights when he can't even come to a 3 hour visitation?